What Can I Say?
by DarkDaughter1318
Summary: Dimitri broke Rose's heart when he left her for Tasha. Now, Rose has other things to focus on. With a new mentor, her friends, and a surprise trip to visit Christian's Aunt Tasha for the holidays, things are bound to get a bit crazy.
1. Taillights In The Rain!

_I watched as he walked towards the SUV waiting at the academies gates, in the pouring down rain. I ran after him, trying to stop him. After everything we've been through, I wasn't about to let him go this easily. When I was about six feet away from him, I called after him._

"_Dimitri." He stopped dead in his tracks. He didn't turn around, and he didn't speak. He just froze. He stood there for a second, almost as if he were debating on whether to keep walking or not. He took a deep breath, and turned around to look at me. _

"_What?" He asked. When I met his eyes, I could tell his guardian mask was on. He was using it to block out any emotions he might show me. My hair and clothes were dripping wet, and tears were streaming down my face, although you couldn't tell it for the rain._

_"What… what are you doing?" I asked. He met my eyes with a deep intensity before speaking._

"_I'm leaving, Rose. I'm going to guard Tasha." He said. The words had no emotion behind them, but his guardian mask was slipping from his face ever so slightly. _

"_No… I mean… Why? I don't understand." I said. _

"_You… you were right, Rose. You said it was a once in a life time shot, and I should do what makes me happy, and this is it. I want to guard Tasha." He said. He was lying. No.. he was lying. He'd said that I was the one that made him happy. I made him feel at peace. He didn't want her. He wanted me._

"_Your lying." I forced. He shook his head at me._

"_I'm not. I want to guard Tasha. This is what makes me happy. I want to be with her." He said, his words thick with an emotion I couldn't exactly pinpoint. _

"_No… You don't want her. You want me… remember? You told me that I was the one that made you happy, and you found peace with me. You said I was the one you wanted, the one you cared about. You don't want her Dimitri, and you know it." I said. _

"_I did care about you, but I see now that there…there can never be anything between us." He said. I flinched at his words. They were like daggers to my heart. I would have actually preferred the daggers than this._

"_After everything we've been through, your just going to walk away? Just going to leave me here like this?" I demanded._

"_This is what I want. I thought you'd be happy for me, Rose." He said. I squinted through the rain, trying to decipher the emotion on his face. I couldn't tell for the rain, but it almost looked like he was crying too. _

"_I… I don't want you to leave, Dimitri." I said, my words thick. "You're my mentor. You're supposed to be here to help me through the rest of my senior year, and your supposed to help me guard Lissa." He shook his head at me._

"_You'll do just fine on your own. Plus, they'll find you a new mentor. A better one even, and they'll also find Liss a new guardian." He said. _

"_But they wont be you. And you know good and damn well that there isn't a better guardian out there than you." I snapped. He smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile. It was forced._

"_They'll figure it out." He said. I shook my head._

"_I'm asking you… please, don't leave." I said._

"_This is what I want, Rose." He said. Something dark and angry was starting to raise its head inside of me._

"_No. Its not. Your lying, Dimitri. You know I've always been able to tell when you were. You don't want to leave, and you know it." I said. He shook his head at me._

_"Rose, please… Just let it go. Its done. I'm leaving." He said. I just stared at him. His face was twisting into another mask, but he was having a hard time holding it. I could see pain, and heartache flow through his features._

"_Fine… You know what.. You go. Okay? I don't care anymore. I'm done with this bullshit. I'll finish my senior year and I'll become the best damn guardian there is, and I'm going to do it without your help. You'll regret leaving. I swear on it. You'll regret this. I love you dammit. I've always loved you, but obviously… that wasn't good enough for you. I'd be willing to give up everything for you… you know? My guardianship, Lissa, all of it… Just to be with you, but that isn't what you want. If Tasha is what you want then go. Have a nice life, Dimitri because I'll damn sure be enjoying mine without you." I snapped. I took a deep breath and looked deep into his eyes, forcing as much hate into the glare that I could conjure up, and forced as much venom that I could find in my body as I spat the next words. _

"_Good-bye Guardian Belikov." I snapped. I turned my back, and walked away, leaving him there, staring after me in the rain. I felt his eyes remain on my back as I walked away, but then I heard a door shut, and looked back to see the SUV's taillights disappear through the gates and down the road. _

I sat at the desk in my room, staring down at my laptop. I was supposed to be writing a paper, but it wasn't coming along that well. He'd been gone for an entire week, and It seemed like an entire year. I already missed him. I missed his voice, his scent, everything about him. I sat there, thinking over everything that had been said that night, thinking of how much I regretted some of the things I said. I was upset and angry and didn't mean half of the things I said. I felt horrible about them now, and knowing I'd never get the chance to take them back made it ten times worse. I really hoped and prayed I'd get the chance to take back some of the things I said. I tried to focus on the task at hand. The paper that was due to Stan by tomorrow, but probably wouldn't get there on time. I sighed and laid my head down on the desk. I was so tired. I hadn't really slept in an entire week. Before I knew it, gravity started increasing on my eyelids, and I slowly fell asleep.

I woke up to an obnoxiously loud knocking. I sat up, and yawned. I got up and walked over to the door and opened it to find Adrian Ivashkov.

"Hello Little Dhampir." He said. I sighed.

"Hi Adrian." I said.

"You seem so delighted to see me." He said, his voice full of mock enthusiasm. I cracked a half-assed smile.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I was asleep, and I'm supposed to be writing a paper, and I just… I don't know." I finally said. He wrapped an arm around my waist, and pulled me too him.

"Rose, I don't mean to be rude, because you know I think you're the most beautiful thing in this world, but you look like-" I cut him off, not needing him to finish.

"Hell?" I tried. He nodded a little.

"I know. I've got to much on my mind, I haven't really slept in a week, I'm being bombarded with school work, I don't have practices anymore to take away the stress, and I'm just totally losing my mind." I said. He frowned.

"I'm sorry honey. I wish I knew a way to make it better. I would say I'd let you beat up on me to relive the stress, but I like my pretty face too much." He said. I chuckled a little bit.

"Stop trying to cheer me up." I said. He smiled.

"Why? Is it working?" He asked. I sighed.

"No." I said. He shook his head at me.

"Why don't you go write your paper, and I'll hunt you down some dinner." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"What are you going to get me?" I asked.

"Chinese?" He asked. I smiled.

"Very well. Go hunt." I encouraged. He nodded, and disappeared to go get me dinner. I sat down at my computer, and started typing up my paper, getting half-way through it before he came back. He unloaded a bag of Chinese food on my desk and smiled.

"Our dinner, ma'am." He said. I smiled.

"Thanks Adrian. As weird as it may sound coming from me, I guess I'm glad you're here." He chuckled.

"Don't try and fool yourself little dhampir. You love it when I'm around." He said. I rolled my eyes. I finished eating, and threw everything away. Adrian talked to me, while I finished my paper, keeping my mind off things I didn't want to think about. The only bad part was, it was now curfew, and I was about to be all alone. He hugged me, and then disappeared out the door. I sighed, and went to get a shower. As I looked in the mirror, after I got out, I noticed that a deep haunted look was in my eyes, like a huge chunk of me was missing. I knew who and what it was. I was missing Dimitri. He had became such a huge part of my life. It was also a piece of my heart missing, which he'd taken along with him when he disappeared. I sighed and walked out of the bathroom, crawling into bed. I closed my eyes, hoping and praying sleep would come quickly tonight, but it didn't. When I closed my eyes, all I saw was him. I was gazing into those deep, seductive chocolate brown eyes. The one's I wanted to stare into for the rest of my life. Finally, I was able to fall into a dreamless sleep, but not without tears spilling out of my eyes first.


	2. Busted!

I woke up the next morning to the same obnoxious knocking noise I was awaken by last night. I groaned. It wasn't time to be awake yet. I had another hour of sleep, and someone was interrupting that. I rolled out of bed, and groggily trudged over to the door. When I opened it, it was the guardian on duty in the dorm. I automatically straightened up.

"What may I ask, is so important you have to ruin my beauty sleep?" I asked him. He grinned a little.

"Alberta would like to speak to you. She said you can be excused from class today. She has things to discuss with you." I nodded.

"Is everything okay?" I asked. He shrugged.

"She said it wasn't urgent or anything, so I'm guessing everything's okay." He said. I nodded, and yawned. He grinned at me before turning to walk away.

"Sorry about interrupting your beauty sleep, Guardian Hathaway." He said. I smiled.

"Its okay. I forgive you this time." I said, as he turned and walked away. I shut my door, and went and crawled back into bed, hoping for that extra hour of sleep before I had to meet Alberta, but I just couldn't seem to fall back asleep. Now I was all sorts of worried about what Alberta wanted. I tried to think back to see if I'd done anything wrong. Okay, yeah… I'd left a few holes in some walls around campus, and I'd yelled at a few people for stupid things, but I hadn't really done anything worthy of getting into trouble about. Not that I knew of. I then thought about my teachers. I'd had some pretty serious jetlag since Dimitri left. I wasn't participating in class like normal, and sometimes in class, I cried. The teachers probably told Alberta about my strange behavior and she's probably piecing things together. _Dammit_. I finally got tired of letting my mind run wild, so I got back out of bed, and got dressed. I did my hair, and make-up, something I hadn't done in awhile, and then grabbed my keys, heading down to the office. As I walked out of the dorm building, Lissa was heading in, probably coming to get me. She smiled.

"Hey Rose, I was just coming to get you. Your up early." She said. I nodded.

"I know. I'm not going to class. Alberta wants to talk to me." I told her. She narrowed her eyes at me.

"What'd you do?" She asked.

"Why do you automatically think I did something?" I asked.

"Because your Rose Hathaway." She said. I shrugged.

"I didn't do anything. I don't know what she wants. I'll find out though." I told her. She nodded.

"I'll come by after class." She said. I nodded.

"Alright." I said, before turning and continuing towards the office. When I got there, I walked straight back to Alberta's office. I stood in the doorway of her office as she looked up.

"Hey Rose, come on in. Have a seat." She said. I nodded, and walked in, sitting in the chair across the desk from her. She got up, and closed the door behind me. I swallowed hard. This couldn't be good.

"How are you, Rose?" She asked. _Horrible, dying inside, missing Dimitri._

"I'm fine." I said. This was the most common lie I told these days. She nodded.

"Belikov's been gone for a good week now." She said. I nodded. She had to remind me. I knew how long he'd been gone. I didn't need her to tell me. Trust me… I knew exactly how long he'd been gone.

"I know." I said.

"You think your ready to start training again?" She asked. _Not without Dimitri, _I said in my head.

"Actually, yeah." I said, lying through my teeth. Well, I was ready to train, but not with anyone else. I wanted to train with Dimitri. She nodded.

"Good. We've got a new guardian coming. He's going to be your new mentor. He's a very skilled fighter, just like Belikov, and will be able to pick up where he left off." She explained. I nodded. Inside, my heart was aching for Dimitri. The realization was hitting me harder now knowing that I was really going to have to train without him. I sighed.

"Rose, you can keep pretending that your okay with him being gone, but I knew better. I can see through you." She said. I looked up to meet her eyes.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. She smiled.

"Rose, you may have everyone else fooled about you and him, but I know better. I'm not blind." She said. _Shit. I was busted._

"What are you talking about… I don't know what you mean." I lied, trying to put on a good show. She smiled.

"Rose, I already know, and you don't have to admit it to me. I saw the way the two of you looked at each other, how you acted around each other. I knew what was going on." She said. I just stared at her for a second.

"How long have you… you known?" I asked.

"Since you hurt your ankle, when you came back from that Missoula shopping trip awhile back." She said. I just stared at her. I was so confused. If she'd known about us for this long now, why hadn't she said anything to anyone.

"You've known this long… but you haven't said.. Anything?" I asked.

"Rose, I wouldn't rat the two of you out." She said. I was at a complete loss for words. Dimitri had always been so worried about how other people would react if anything had ever got out about us, but the one person that could have destroyed both of our careers has known, and didn't do it.

"Why not? I mean… He was seven years older than me… and-" She cut me off by a shake of her head.

"Rose, I've grown very close to Dimitri over the short time I've known him, and I watch out for you for your mom since she isn't here to do it. When we paired you and Dimitri up as mentor and student, I knew that your personalities would clash… but after about a month of you two working together I saw such a change in you. You became a completely different person. A stronger, more independent, and more responsible person. You were a guardian. I knew after I pieced things together that Dimitri and you were a match made in heaven. It was love. I saw it, and I wasn't going to do anything to mess that up for either of you." She said. I felt my eyes fill up with tears. Hearing all this made me miss him all the more.

"I don't understand why he left." I whispered. She shook her head.

"Me either." She said. I put my face in my hands, and let a sob escape my chest.

"I'm sorry, Rose. I tried to stop him." She said. I looked up, and wiped the tears from my face.

"You did?" I asked. She nodded.

"I tried. I really did, but he insisted that Tasha was what he wanted, so I couldn't stop him. Before he decided to go, he made me swear that I'd find you another kick ass mentor, so you could reach your full potential as a guardian. He was most worried about leaving you, probably knowing what him leaving would do to you." She said. I nodded.

"I just… I don't understand. He'd told me that he wanted me, and cared about me, and how he found peace with me, and all this stuff, and then he disappears. It doesn't make sense." I said, continuing to wipe the tears spilling from my eyes. She shrugged.

"I don't know. I wish I understood him. I wish he would have stayed. I know how much he meant to you Rose." He said. I nodded.

"I said some things when he left that… that I regret, and wish I could take back. I didn't mean them, I was just so mad, and… I don't know. I regret it, but I don't for the fact that he left me. I hate it." I said. She nodded.

"I wish I knew, Rose." She said. I nodded, and sniffed.

"I need to go. When is my new mentor going to be here?" I asked her. She sighed.

"This afternoon, right after school." She said. I nodded and took a deep breath.

"You can meet us in the gym about the same time you and Dimitri had afternoon practice." She said. I nodded.

"I'll meet you there." I said. She smiled slightly. I stood up, and sniffed before starting towards the door.

"Rose?" She asked. I turned to look at her.

"Yeah?" I said, as I stood at the door.

"I'm sorry." She said. Looking into her eyes, I knew she saw everything. She knew how much it hurt me that he was gone. She knew how much it was hurting me to have to get a new mentor. She knew how much it would hurt me to guard Liss with someone else other than him. Through her eyes, I could see she knew. I nodded.

"Thank you." I said, before walking out. She nodded once, as I walked out, and out of the office. I stood there for a second, before starting to walk off. I started to go back to my room, but decided to go one better, and walked to the Chapel. I sat down in the back, and pulled my knee's up into the pew with me, and laid my forehead against them. I just sat there and cried. I hadn't really been able to fully cry, and get everything out since he left, but now, I was doing a perfectly good job. Everything just came pouring out of me. I wasn't sure how long I sat there, and cried. Before I knew it, Liss came in, and walked over to me.

"Shh, Rose." She whispered. She wrapped an arm around my waist, and pulled me against her side.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean too… I just…" I kept choking up, and couldn't form a full sentence.

"Don't apologize. I understand. Just let it out." She whispered. I nodded, and laid my head on her shoulder. I then realized something.

"Oh shit." I said, jumping up.

"What?" She asked.

"I have to meet Alberta and my new mentor in the gym. _Shit._" I said, starting to run towards the door.

"I'll come by your room when I'm done. Okay?" I said, wiping the tears off my face. She nodded.

"Okay." She said. I tore out of the Chapel, and started running straight for the gym.


	3. Empty Heart Filled With Regret!

I tore out of the Chapel, running straight for the gym. It was great. The first time meeting my new mentor, and he was probably already thinking I was some kind of slacker. I opened the door, and walked in to see Alberta and a guy standing in the center of the gym. I jogged over to where they were standing.

"I'm so sorry I'm late. I completely lost track of time." I said. Alberta shook her head and smiled.

"It's no big deal, we were just chatting. Guardian Lewis, this is Rosemarie Hathaway. Rose, this is Guardian Lewis." She said. I smiled at him, hoping sincerely that it looked genuine. He had dirty-blonde hair that hung along his forehead, and had sapphire blue eyes. He was about Dimitri size, maybe a little smaller. Over-all, he was a decent looking guy, maybe a little more than decent.

"Nice to meet you Guardian Lewis." I said.

"Its nice to meet you too, Rosemarie." He said. Alberta looked at me, and then back at him.

"Well, I'll leave you two to get to know each other a little bit. If you need me, I'll be in my office. Guardian Lewis, Rose." She said, before turning and walking away. Guardian Lewis looked at me and smiled.

"You can call me Sebastian." He said.

"Only if you'll call me Rose." I said. He nodded.

"Deal." He said. I smiled a little.

"So, you're the one everyone's been talking about?" He asked. I raised an eyebrow.

"It depends what they've been saying." I said.

"Rosemarie Hathaway, the most bad-ass senior novice, the girl who is unpromised but has two molnija marks, the girl who is bonded to princess Vasilisa, and is shadow-kissed." He said.

"Yeah, that's me." I said. He nodded.

"Your also the girl that sent the whole moroi world into a frenzy when the princess up and disappeared." He said. I sighed. I knew I wasn't ever going to be able to live that down.

"She was under my care. Nothing would have happened to her." I assured him. He nodded.

"I believe you." He said. I sighed.

"Well, it seems like you know my entire life story, but I know absolutely nothing about you." I said. He chuckled.

"I'm not quite as popular as you." He said. I smiled.

"Not everyone can be as popular as me." I said, sarcasm in my voice. He nodded.

"Very true." He said. I smiled. "Well, I'm twenty-two, I've been a guardian for three years, I came here from Italy, I graduated at the top of my class and was the best fighter of my class." I nodded.

"How many molnija marks do you have?" I asked. He turned around and showed me the back of his neck. Along with his promise mark, he had three molnija marks on his neck.

"Before or after you were promised?" I asked. He smiled.

"I'm not as badass as you Guardian Hathaway." He said. I nodded.

"Not everyone can be as badass as me either." I said. He nodded.

"Touché." He said.

"If you don't mind me asking… what happened to your other mentor? Weren't you being trained by Guardian Belikov?" He asked.

"I was… he.. He left." I stammered, trying to keep from breaking down crying again.

"Gosh, I heard you were trouble, were you really that bad?" He asked. _Ouch, punch to the stomach. _I knew he had no idea what went on between Dimitri and I, but that didn't make it hurt any less. I looked down at the gym floor and back up to meet his blue eyes.

"Oh… I'm sorry. I didn't know.." He said. I nodded.

"I know that. I know. It's okay." I told him. He nodded. I smiled slightly at him.

"I'm really sorry Rose. I know I don't know what happened, but I'm sorry. Alberta told me that you were pretty devastated by him leaving." He said. I nodded.

"I was. I still am." I said. He smiled.

"I'm going to help you through this. I'll help you through the rest of your senior year and help you guard Liss. I wont leave you the way he did. I know I just met you and all, but I'm your mentor. I'm here to help you, so don't think you can't come to me if you need to talk." He said. I smiled and nodded.

"Thank you." I said. He nodded.

"When do you want to start practice?" He asked.

"ASAP!" I said. He chuckled.

"Tomorrow morning?" He asked. I nodded.

"Nine?" I asked. He nodded.

"I'll be here." He said. I nodded.

"See ya then." I said, turning and starting towards the door.

"Hey Rose." He called after me. I turned to him.

"Yeah?" I asked. He smiled.

"I'm looking forward to seeing what you can do." He said. I chuckled, and turned to walk out of the gym. I hadn't realized how long I'd stood in the gym with him, because it was getting late. I thought about going to Lissa's but I figured it be too late and she'd be asleep… or with Christian doing God knows what, so instead I went back to my room. I got a shower, and crawled into my bed. I was tired from call the stress of today, so it didn't take long for me to fall asleep, and for the first time in a long time, no tears were shed. It wasn't long after I passed out, that Adrian showed up. He smiled.

"Hello Little Dhampir." He said. I smiled a little.

"Hey." I said.

"How are you?" He asked. Adrian was the one I could never fool, so I didn't bother lying to him,

"I'm hanging in there. Things got a little rough." I said. He nodded.

"Liss told me." He said. I sighed.

"Yeah. Alberta knows about Dimitri and me." I said. His eyes went wide.

"What?" He asked. I nodded.

"She's known for awhile now." I said.

"But she hasn't said anything?" He asked. I shook my head.

"She said she'd never do that to us. She saw how much we loved each other. Or well… How much I loved him." I said. Adrian shook his head.

"Did you get your new mentor?" He asked. I nodded.

"How is he?" He asked.

"He's different. Not as stern as Dimitri was when I first met him." I said. He nodded.

"You think you two will get along?" He asked. I nodded.

"I'm sure." I told him. He nodded.

"Okay, well send me back. I want to get some rest. I have practice in the morning." I said. He smiled.

"Okay. Goodnight Rose." He said. He pressed a kiss to my forehead, and the world faded around us. Before I knew it, I was back in my own dreams, falling into a deep, deep sleep.


	4. Piercing Words, Eye's Are Red!

The next morning I woke up in a pretty good mood, which was something that hadn't happened in a week. I rolled out of bed, and threw on my work-out clothes. I threw my hair up in a pony tail, and did a small amount of make-up, before grabbing my keys and walking out, heading towards the gym. The sun was just starting to set over the horizon as I made it to the gym doors. When I walked in, I stopped dead in my tracks. Sebastian had a pull up bar, placed in one of the door frames, and was doing pull ups with what seemed to be little effort. What I couldn't help notice, was that his upper torso was bare, and his shirt was on the floor. As I stood there, he dropped from the ground, and reached down to retrieve his shirt. When he turned around, he saw me, and froze up for a second. I felt like an idiot, because I knew my eyes were not on his face, they were on his well sculpted and absolutely beautiful body.

"Hey. You scared me. I didn't hear you come in." He said. I shook my head, and looked up to meet his eyes.

"Yeah, sorry. I'll try to make noise next time." I said, trying to force my eyes on his face. My entire body was locked up, trying to focus on his face and not his body. It was a very hard task. Finally, he took his shirt and pulled it back over his head. My entire body relaxed and I was actually able to move again. I started over towards where he was.

"So, I figured today, we could spar a little, and fight… see how much your old mentor has taught you." He said. I noticed how he didn't say his name. I smiled a little at him.

"Okay." I said. I helped him pull out a mat from the storage closet and unroll it onto the gym floor. I stepped onto the mat, and so did he.

"Take it easy on me now." He said. I snorted.

"I wouldn't count on it." I said. He crouched down in a defensive stance and grinned at me. It was a pretty sexy really. I did the same as we circled. I attacked first, since I wasn't aware of what he was capable of. He dodged my attack the same way Dimitri would have, and just like Dimitri, he smiled smugly at me. I nodded.

"Okay…" I said. He lunged at me this time, almost catching me off guard. I dodged and stepped out of the way of the rest of his attack. He smiled and nodded. He back-tracked with a kick, that I neatly blocked with my forearm. I threw a punch, and caught him in the shoulder before he could move. He stumbled, but didn't falter, and came back with a punch, catching me in the stomach. I cringed, but threw a kick back at him, hitting him in the leg. He stumbled again, but this time, I used it to my advantage. I took him to the ground, and tried to pin him, but the guy was quick. He rolled, so I was underneath of him. I wasn't going down this way. Not without a fight. I rolled, and squirmed, and tried to get enough momentum to where I could roll myself over. He kept trying to get a clear shot to my heart, but he was struggling. Not knowing what to do, I pulled back and punched him in the shoulder as hard as I could in this position, causing him to be distracted for just a second. I was able to push myself out from under him, and back to my feet. He took a few steps back from me.

"Your good." He said. I grinned.

"You haven't seen anything yet. I'm just warming up." I said. He nodded.

"Alright, lets see it, Rosa." He said. I froze. I hadn't heard that right. When he saw I wasn't moving, he gave me a strange look.

"What… what'd you call me?" I asked.

"Rosa. Its Italian for your name." He said.

"Spell it." I told him.

"R-O-S-A." He said. I nodded.

"Is there something wrong?" He asked. I shook my head.

"No… nothing. Its just.. Its nothing. Forget it. Lets go." I said, motioning him forward. He was still staring at me strange.

"Are you sure?" He asked. I gave him one of my patented Rose Hathaway looks, and he smiled.

"Alright." He said. He lunged at me, but instead of taking the hit, I struck out with a kick and a punch he wasn't ready for. He groaned as he stumbled backwards. He reached out and grabbed a hold of my arm, and stealthily, I maneuvered under it, and pinned it behind his back. He was fast though, and was able to swing me around, until I was in front of him. I maneuvered myself out of his hold, and before I could stage my next attack, or even try and hit him, he had me on the ground, with my hands over my head, and a hand at my heart.

"Dead." He said. I smiled. "Your really good, Rose." He said. I smiled.

"Thanks. I try." I said. He nodded. He stood up off me, and offered his hand down to me. I knew what I was going to do the moment I grabbed his hand. I yanked him down, throwing myself on top of him, where he couldn't move. I had a hand over his heart before he could think about fighting back.

"Its not over till I say its over." I said, giggling. He smiled. The sound was really unfamiliar to me. I hadn't giggled, or really laughed in so long. I stared down into his gorgeous blue eyes for a second, but then stood up, helping him up. I made sure to plant my feet incase he tried the same thing. He didn't though.

"Your really good, Rose. I mean… I know I took you down and all, but I don't really think you need a mentor." He said.

"I do. Trust me. There's so much left I haven't learned." I said. "And trust me. I need someone to yell at me when I'm doing wrong, and praise me when I do right. It makes my life a hell of a lot easier. Its what I'm used too." I said.

"Yell at you?" I asked. I smiled.

"I'm a bit of a trouble-maker at times." I said. He smiled.

"I was too in school." He told me. I raised an eyebrow.

"Really? I don't think I believe that." I said. He nodded.

"I was a troubled kid in school. I was a party boy. I was in fights with teachers all the time. I got in fist fights with people. I was horrible." He said. I laughed.

"And your this well mannered and sweet now? What happened?" I asked. He chuckled, and shrugged.

"I don't know. I got out into the real world, and realized that I wasn't as badass as I thought I was." He said. I smiled.

"Well, I'll always be this badass, so…" I said. He laughed and shook his head at me.

"You better go. You're going to be late." He said. I looked at the clock.

"Shit." I said. He smiled.

"Your not good with time, are you?" He asked. I shook my head.

"I'll see you after-school. Same time as yesterday?" He asked. I nodded.

"I'll be here." I said, jogging off towards the door.

"Rosa?" He called. I froze, and turned to look at him.

"Have a good day." I smiled.

"You too." I said, before walking out the door. I ran to my dorm, and quickly changed my clothes, brushed my hair, and threw it back in a pony-tail, and then ran off to class. I was already going to be late for Stan's class. Now I would get to hear him bitch. It was prefect. I walked in, and sat down. Stan was staring at the chalk board, but he was shaking his head.

"Hathaway, where have you been?" He asked.

"I got held up at practice. I'm sorry." I said. He looked at me like he didn't believe me.

"Now that you've run Belikov off, I can tell you're going to be giving me trouble again." I just stared at him. Tears were threatening to leak from my eyes.

"I didn't run him off." I said.

"Then why'd he leave?" He asked. I was completely caught off guard. I knew Stan hated me, but I didn't think he hated me that much. I knew he'd known about how hard I'd taken Dimitri leaving. I stood up.

"Fuck you Stan." I snapped. I left my paper on my desk, and grabbed my stuff, and walked out.

"Hathaway, get your ass back in here." He snapped.

"Eat a dick Stan." I called behind me, as I started running towards the gym. I busted through the doors, running into the room with the punching bag. Pretending it was Guardian Alto's face, I beat the shit out of it. I started crying so hard, I couldn't see anymore, so I just sat down on the ground and cried. I was in here for awhile. I heard the door open, and looked up to see Sebastian walk in.

"Rose, what-?" He stopped. "What's wrong?" He asked. I just shook my head.

"Rose, your hands." He said. I looked down at my knuckles to see they were bleeding. I hadn't noticed the pain, the pain of my heart numbed it. He took my arm, and pulled me to stand up. I tried to pull away from him, but he wrapped an arm around my waist and escorted me out of the room, and back into the gym. He sat me down on the mat in the center of the gym, and went back to the gym's office to get the first-aid kit. He came back out and sat down in front of me, taking my hands in his.

"How long have you been in here?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Since first period." I sniffed.

"What happened, Rose?" He asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." I said. He looked down at my hands.

"Maybe talking about it will make it better, because this isn't helping." He said, motioning to my hands. He pulled out a piece of gauze and a bottle of peroxide it. He laid it over top of my raw knuckles on my left hand. I cringed a little.

"Now… talk, Rose." He said.

"I left because of Stan." I said. He raised an eyebrow.

"Why Stan? What did he do?" He asked.

"He accused me of running Dimitri off." I said. A few more tears ran down my face. He reached up, and with the slightest brush of his fingertips, he wiped them away.

"But you didn't… did you?" He asked.

"I don't really know… exactly why he left. He left to guard Tasha Ozera though." I said. Sebastian wrinkled his nose. I couldn't help but laugh.

"I have this feeling there's this long story here your not telling me." He said. I nodded.

"There is." I whispered.

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked. I just looked at him.

"I can't help unless I know, Rose." He said. I sighed and nodded.

"I was in love with Dimitri." I whispered. "And… he left."

"He left because you loved him?" He asked.

"I don't know why he left. He said he wanted to be with Tasha, but… I know he was lying. He doesn't want her. He never wanted her. It was always me he wanted… but he left with her anyway." I whispered.

"So, he loved you too?" He asked. I nodded.

"From what he said he did, his actions are proving something different." I whispered. Sebastian nodded.

"Now I understand why you reacted the way you did to what I said yesterday. Look, Rose… I'm really sorry." He said. Staring into his sapphire blue eyes, I could see he was really worried about me. He started bandaging my hand, being so gentle, I could barely feel his hands on mine.

"Its not your fault. I don't know who to blame." I said.

"Blame him. He left, and he's an idiot." He said. I attempted to raise an eyebrow at him. He smiled at me.

"Your beautiful, Rose. Your smart from doing my research on you, and your strong. I've seen what you can do, and I'm sure that was only a portion of it. Your going to be an amazing guardian. He has no idea what he left behind. No idea what he's missing out on." He said.

"But… our age." I said. He smiled.

"Age is just a number, Rosa. It shouldn't matter. If he loved you… he would have known that. Love knows no boundaries." He said. I just stared at him.

"I don't know. I just… I don't understand why he left." I whispered. "It didn't make any sense to me." He shrugged.

"Me either." He said, as he finished bandaging my other hand. When he was done, he took both of my hands in his and kissed them. He then looked up to meet my eyes.

"The way I see it… Is if he was dumb enough to leave, you should be smart enough to let him go. You can do better." He told me. I nodded, getting lost in his eyes. He smiled.

"Thank you." I mumbled. He nodded.

"Its no problem. I told you I'm here to help. I'll talk to Stan." He said. I shook my head.

"No. Please… don't. Just forget it. No one here knows about Dimitri and me except Alberta, but she isn't going to say anything. Stan will." I said. Sebastian shook his head.

"No.. I'm not going to say anything to him about that…. I'm just going to talk to him. It'll be okay." He said. Staring into his eyes, I trusted him. I believed him.

"Thank you." I said. He smiled.

"Its my job." He said. I nodded. He stood, and extended a hand to help me up. As I stood before him, I got a little lost in his eyes. They were like oceans, and I just wanted to dive right in. I blinked hard, and the rest of his face came into focus.

"I've… uhm… got to go. I'll see you in the morning." I said. He nodded.

"Thank you again.. For talking, and.. my hands." I said. He smiled.

"No problem." He said. I turned my back, and started out of the gym, and back to my dorm.


	5. I Think About You All The Time!

When I got back to my dorm, I found Liss standing outside waiting for me. She smiled.

"Hey Rose. You didn't come by yesterday. I thought-" She then stopped.

"Christian?" She asked. I smiled.

"I didn't want to take a chance. I got out of the gym pretty late." I said. She nodded.

"Good call." She said. I wrinkled my nose, as I opened my door. She smiled at me.

"So… I saw your new mentor." She said.

"And your new guardian." I told her. She smiled.

"I don't mind. He's… He's pretty good-looking. I love Christian, but… He's pretty." She said. I rolled my eyes.

"He's a cool guy. I don't think having a new mentor will be half-bad." I said. She smiled.

"How was your first training? Is he a good fighter?" She asked. I nodded.

"He took me down." I said.

"Easily?" She asked. I snorted.

"Its obvious you've never seen me in training. No one takes down Rose Hathaway easily." I said. I was amazed at how much of a better mood I was in after talking to Sebastian.

"What happened to your hands?" She asked, motioning towards the bandages.

"Its nothing. Long story. Don't wanna talk about it." I told her. She nodded. She placed her hands over my knuckles and closed her eyes. I felt her magic flow through me, and the pain went away. She pulled away and smiled.

"All better." She said. I nodded.

"Thanks." I said. She grinned.

"That's what best friends are for." She told me. I hugged her.

"I haven't see fire boy in awhile." I told her. She shrugged.

"He's been busy." She said.

"Mhmm." I said. "Busy with you." Her face turned a little bit red.

"He's been working on defensive magic." I said.

"By himself?" I asked. I knew that was something him and his Aunt had worked on.

"Sometimes." She said. I could tell she was hiding something.

"His Aunt comes on campus sometimes to practice with him." She said, looking at the floor. I just nodded.

"Okay." I said. I was really sincerely hoping I'd run into his Aunt sometime…alone…in a dark place where I could beat the living shit out of her for stealing my reason for existing.

"Well, I have to go. Curfew will be in effect soon. I'll see you in class tomorrow." I told her. She nodded.

"Okay." I said. She hugged me, and walked out. I stood there for a second, before grabbing a change of clothes, and going to get a shower. Once I got out, I was looking in the mirror, and noticed that the haunted look in my eyes were starting to fade, the sadness in them was starting to dull, and I was starting to look like the normal Rose Hathaway. The completely and totally badass Rose Hathaway. I walked back out into my room and crawled into my bed. As I laid there, staring at the ceiling, was thinking about all of the stuff that Sebastian had said. I could hear his voice telling me the same thing he'd told me earlier.

"If he's dumb enough to let you go, be smart enough to let him walk away." He'd told me. He was right, and I knew he was, but he didn't understand how hard it was to just give up, to just let go of someone who had had such a big impact on my life. I would work on it though. I knew I could do it. It would just take a little time and effort, and I'd be able to live my life as if Dimitri Belikov never existed. I closed my eyes and slowly fell asleep. I hadn't seen Adrian in a day or so, so I knew he'd show up.

"Little Dhampir." He said. We were on a beach. The sun was bright up in the sky, and the waves were lapping the shore. I noticed I felt very bare. I looked down to see I was in a neon pink bikini, with a see-through white sundress. I looked up at him, and shook my head.

"Really?" I asked, motioning to my attire. He grinned.

"Be lucky your not naked." He said. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I would whoop your ass, Adrian." I told him.

"In this realm or reality?" He asked.

"BOTH!" I told him. He grimaced. I nodded.

"So, how are you?" He asked me. I sighed.

"I'm… I'm okay." I told him. He nodded.

"I'm glad. How is the new mentor thing working out for you?" He asked.

"Its… Its actually pretty good. He's cool." I said. Adrian smiled.

"I'm glad to hear that." He said. I nodded.

"Practice in the morning?" He asked me. I smiled.

"Of course." I told him.

"Cool. Well, I'll leave you alone. Just checking in." He said. I nodded.

"Goodnight Little Dhampir." He said.

"Night Adrian." He said. He grinned.

"Oh, and by the way.. I like that look on you. Sexy." He said, before the dream world faded around us. I woke up in my own bed, looking around. I rolled my eyes before I closed my eyes and slowly fell asleep.

When I woke up the next morning, I was ready for practice. I got dressed, and went through my daily morning routine before heading off to the gym. When I got there, Sebastian was unrolling another practice mat, and securing it. He smiled as the door shut behind him.

"Goodmorning sunshine." He said. I smiled.

"Goodmorning."

"How are you this morning?" He asked.

"I'm… I'm okay." I told him. He nodded.

"You ready to practice?" He asked. I nodded."Sure thing." I told him. We both stepped onto the mat, and got ready. We were neck and neck this morning. Every punch, kick, or move was blocked or reversed. We were both on our game this time, and I wasn't going down without a fight. I had to admit, watching Sebastian fight, and watching how graceful and skilled he was made him pretty hott. Hottness was the last thing on my mind right now. The only thing on my mind in this very moment was winning, and that's what I was doing. I swung a fist towards his face, but he dodged, the moment he was thinking about dodging the punch, I jumped up with a kick right to his stomach, causing him to stumbled backwards. With that, I swung my leg around, catching behind his legs, causing him to fall. I straddled him, and fought with his hands, placing my hands on his chest, right over his heart. I smiled down at him, as he gazed back up at me.

"Dead." I said. He nodded.

"That was amazing. I didn't even see that coming." He said. I rubbed my knuckles against my tank top and smiled.

"Yeah, I know. Thank you, thank you." I said. He chuckled, and with a speed I wasn't ready for, shifted his weight, and rolled, putting himself on top of me.

"Its not over till I say its over." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever. You can't take my catch phrases." I said. He smiled. I met his eyes, and gazed into them. They were so gorgeous, I don't think I'll ever get over how blue they were.

"Has anyone ever told you, you have beautiful eyes." I said. He grinned.

"I've heard that a time of two." He said. "It means more coming from you though, Ms. Hathaway. I'm flattered." I smiled, and shook my head at him.

"You should be. I don't give compliments often." I said. If I didn't know any better, I would say we were flirting. He gazed down into my eyes for a moment longer, before realizing he was still on top of me. He chuckled, and stood up, offering me his hand. I took it, and allowed him to help me up.

"I better go. I've got to get ready for school." I said. He nodded.

"You actually might be on time today." He said. I grimaced at him.

"Hush." I said, before turning my back.

"Have a good day, Rosa." He said.

"You too Sebastian." I said, before walking out the door. I went back to my dorm, really confused. Were Sebastian and I just flirting. I think we were. I just shook my head, as I got dressed and ready for my day. I hoped it would be better than yesterday.


	6. Please, Believe Me!

Classes went by quick. Stan didn't even speak to me today as I entered his classroom. Of course today, I didn't give him a reason to speak to me, but regardless, he usually found something to yell at me for. Before I knew it, it was time for lunch. I went and got my food, and sat down with Liss. Christian walked over, and sat down next to her, planting a kiss on her cheek. I looked down at my food, and back up.

"What's up fire boy. Haven't seen you around much." I said. He smiled.

"I've been practicing magic. I've been pretty busy." He said.

"Practicing with Aunt Tasha?" I asked. He nodded.

"How good is she at magic? I mean… You think I could take her?" I asked. Christian chuckled.

"Rose!" Liss said. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm only kidding, Liss." I said. The sad thing… I wasn't. If I ever got the opportunity to get her alone, her ass would be mine.

"She's good. I'm not really sure. Its possible you could take her." He said. Liss slapped him.

"Christian, don't provoke her." Liss said. I rolled my eyes as I took a bite out of my sandwich.

"So… the holidays are coming up pretty soon." I said. Liss nodded.

"What are we doing?" I asked. She shrugged.

"I don't know yet." She said. "We'll find out soon." I nodded. The bell rang, and we all went back and sat through our classes. When class was done, I headed off to the gym. Sebastian was laying in the middle of the mat, with a magazine in his hands. This scene looked so familiar. I remembered back when I'd come inside to find Dimitri sitting on the mat with one of his old western books in his hand. I was kind of taken back a little bit, but I quickly shook myself out of it. Sebastian looked up as the door closed behind me.

"Hey." He said. I noticed how his eyes sort of lit up as I walked into the room, only making them bluer and more beautiful.

"Hey." I said.

"How was your day?" He asked, as I walked over to the mat where he was sitting and dropped my bag.

"It was good. It went by quick." I said. He nodded.

"Mine did too." He said. I smiled down at him.

"What are we doing today?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I figured we could spar. You left some pretty nasty bruises on me from this morning." He said. I giggled.

"Oops." I said. He shrugged.

"No blood, no foul." He assured me. I shook my head. He stood up, and lifted his shirt, exposing the huge black spot on his stomach. I cringed. I reached forward, and let my fingers run over the bruise on his stomach. He shuddered. I wasn't sure what exactly I was doing, so I quickly pulled my hand away.

"I'm sorry." I said, prying my eyes from his stomach, to look at his face.

"Its okay. It doesn't hurt that bad." He said. I couldn't help but noticed how intent his eyes were on my face.

"Your lying." I said, cracking a smile at him. He chuckled.

"Nahh." He said.

"I'll try not to bruise you again." I said, walking over to the boxes we used for sparing. He ran and got the gloves, and handed me a pair. I slipped them on, and stepped into one of the four boxes. He stepped into the one across from me. The object of sparing was if you made body contact, it was a point, if the person stepped out of the box, it's a double point. It was fun.

"I have an idea. Since we just met each other like… a few days ago, and still don't know that much about each other, we'll make it interesting. Every time you get a point, you have to say something about yourself, and you have to be completely honest." He said. I chuckled, and nodded.

"Alright. I can do that." I said. He nodded.

"Lets go." He said. I swung a punch, but he blocked. He swung one, and I blocked it. The second time, I caught him, and grinned.

"Point." I said. He smiled at me.

"Alright, lets see… I've never been to an inside mall before." He said. My mouth hung open.

"How are you alive right now?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I was never one too shop, and when I did, we had outside malls. I was in Italy, it was nothing but strip malls there." He said. I nodded. He threw the next punch, and I blocked it. We both blocked the next few punches, until finally, he caught me off guard and got me.

"Point." He said, smiling.

"Alright… I've been here at this school since I was five years old." I said. He just stared at me for a second before shaking his head.

"That's got to suck." He said. I nodded.

"Tell me about it." I said. I swung, and he blocked. He did the same. I swung again, and caught his shoulder.

"Point." I said. He chuckled.

"Okay… When I was younger, and in school, I got into a fist fight with a teacher and broke his nose." He said. I laughed.

"That's awesome. Sounds like something I would have done to, Stan." I said. He chuckled.

"I'll laugh when that day comes. I know I work here and all, but Stan's an asshole." He said. I smiled.

"Thank God someone see's it." I said. He swung, and I blocked. I swung, and connected again.

"Dammit." He spat. "Okay.. Uhm.. My worst subject in school was math." I wrinkled my nose.

"I hate math, but I'm good at it. History is my problem. I'm bad with time, remember?" I said, making a face at him. He chuckled, and swung. Instead of blocking, I jumped into the other box, and swung. He jumped into the next one across from me, and swung again. He connected with my stomach. I almost fell out of my box, but managed to keep my balance.

"Umm, I broke my ankle by walking on a bench." I said. He raised an eyebrow.

"Long story. Lets just say… the bench took me out." I said. He nodded. All of the sudden images of that day flitted back through my mind. That was the same day Dimitri had told me how much he liked the dress, and he bought me lip gloss. I pushed those thoughts away quickly, focusing on what I was doing. I swung, and he blocked. He swung, and I ducked under his punch. I threw a punch, catching him in the chest. He stepped out of his box. I giggled.

"Alright… You stepped out. What do I get for that?" I asked.

"Okay… If we step out of the box, you have to tell the other a secret. Something not many people know about you." He said. I nodded.

"Okay. Works for me. You stepped out, lets hear it." I said. He sat there for a second, thinking.

"Okay, my secret is I think your absolutely gorgeous." He said. I just stared at him for a second and smiled.

"Thank you." I said. He nodded.

"Don't tell anyone I told you." He said. I laughed. He threw a punch that I blocked. I threw one he blocked as well. We went about five or six times before he got me in the shoulder.

"Alright, I hate Tasha Ozera." I said. He chuckled, and wrinkled his nose again.

"Why he left you… for her… I will never begin to understand." He said. I laughed. I threw a punch, and connected with his stomach again. I almost hit the spot I'd bruised before. He cringed.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry." I said. I stepped out of my box, walking to him, when he looked up at me and smiled.

"You stepped out." He said. I growled at him.

"You jerk. That wasn't fair, I thought I hurt you." I said. He smiled.

"It did hurt, but you stepped out." He said.

"Ass hole." I muttered. He smiled.

"Secret? Come on." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"I don't have any secrets, everyone know's everything about me." I said.

"Tell me something I don't know." He said. I sighed.

"Alright… When Liss and I ran away… I gave her blood." I said, looking down at the floor. It wasn't something I regretted. I knew it had to be done to keep my best friend alive, but what other people thought about me doing that worried me. When the few people here found out, they all thought I was a blood-whore in the making.

"As in… let her drink from you?" He asked. I nodded, still looking at my feet. He stepped towards me, and pulled my chin up to look at him.

"Don't be ashamed of that. You did what you had to too protect your best friend, and your ace. You did what had to be done. That's how everyone here, and everyone everywhere else knows you'll be a good guardian, because you'll do anything for her." He said. I met his eyes, and nodded.

"They all thought I was-" He cut me off.

"A blood whore in the making?" He asked. I nodded.

"Your not." He said.

"How do you know? Have you ever been bit? Its amazing." I said, rolling my eyes, saying things that a feeder, or blood whore would say. He chuckled.

"I.. I have actually." He said. I attempted to raise an eyebrow.

"My first moroi had to drink from me. We were in a life or death situation… and she was dying. There was no blood supply around, and I was the only one around…So, I let her. I saved her life." He said. I giggled.

"Awe, that's so cute." I said. He chuckled.

"How come you aren't with her anymore?" I asked.

"She died." He said.

"What?" I asked. He nodded.

"Her other guardian was on duty, and… he was supposed to be protecting her, and… some strigoi showed up… and.. She was killed." He said. I just stared at him. Why did it seem like so much was the same between him and Dimitri. It scared me.

"What?" He asked.

"I'm sorry." I said. He shook his head.

"I was upset about it for awhile, but… It wasn't my fault. It was his duty to protect her, and he failed. I regret leaving her with him… but it's the past." I said. I nodded.

"Your right, and we will NOT be letting that happen to Lissa." I said. He shook his head.

"Definitely not." He said. I looked up at the clock, and cussed.

"Shit… Its past curfew." I said, grabbing my bag. He chuckled.

"I'll escort you so you don't get in trouble." He told me. I smiled at him.

"Thank you." I said. He nodded.

"No problem ma'am." He said. We walked to the dhampir dorms, and upstairs.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning." He said. I smiled.

"Okay." He gave me this look, and I wasn't sure what to make of it. His eyes sort of smoldered.

"Sweet dreams, Rosa." He said, before turning around and walking away. I sat there, and watched him walk away. Something was definitely going on here.


	7. Couldn't Find The Words To Say!

As I crawled into my bed, I was thinking about Sebastian. There was definitely something going on. He'd called me beautiful. It was really sweet the way he went about it, but still, he was my mentor, and… things between us weren't like there were with Dimitri and I when we first met. It was strange, but I liked it. He was more like a casual friend than he was a mentor, but yet… he was training me at the same time. I sighed. Training with Sebastian made me miss Dimitri, but even so… I was still content with Sebastian. I was content with having him in my life. Although I could feel something growing between us, even though I wasn't sure what it was. There was something. I knew that. The way he looked at me, the way he acted around me, and the way I acted around him. Something was there, and I was sure of it. Slowly my eyes slid closed, and I fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning to my alarm clock blaring in my ear. I groaned. For some reason, I felt more tired than I normally did. I rolled out of bed and got up to get dressed. I did my hair, and make-up, taking a little extra time, seeing as how I had dark circles under my eyes. When I finally looked presentable, I grabbed my keys and headed off for the gym. I had a super case of jetlag. I slowly dragged my way across campus, and into the gym. He looked up as he pulled the staking dummies out of the closet. _Oh boy! _I thought, as I walked over to him.

"Goodmorning honey." He said. I smiled.

"Goodmorning sweetheart." I said, mocking his cheerful voice. He chuckled. I'd always found Sebastian's voice to be one of the hottest things about him. It was rich, and sweet, like velvet. I loved listening to him talk.

"I see we're doing something different today?" I asked. He nodded.

"I want to see how much you learned in staking strigoi." He said.

"May I remind you, I've decapitated two strigoi with a dull sword, I can do fine on my own." I said, smiling brightly.

"I know that, but I'll rest better if I know you know how to stake a strigoi right. There may not always be a dull sword around for you too decapitate someone with, Ms. Hathaway." He said. I chuckled.

"Very true." I said, taking the silver stake he now had in his hand. I walked over to the dummy, and smiled. Showing off was what I was doing, but regardless, I shoved my stake, right through the dummies chest. I worked around all of the fake ribs, and reached his heart. I stepped back, and smiled.

"Good?" I asked. He nodded.

"You get that thing in there, don't you?" He asked. I had a few dirty comebacks for that, but I didn't say them. I just smiled and nodded. He chuckled, maybe realizing what he'd said. I just yanked the stake out, and did it again. I did it a few times over, and then let him show me a few ways to get it in there easier and even demonstrated a few times. It was fun to watch him. He looked so lethal and deadly when he reached out with his stake and dug it into the strigoi's heart. I just stood back and smiled, watching him. When he turned around he looked at me.

"See, so much easier." He said. I was just staring at him.

"What?" He asked. I just shook my head.

"Nothing… Just… its nothing." I assured him. He yanked the stake out of the dummy, and turned to me.

"Tell me Guardian Hathaway." He said. I shook my head.

"No." I said. He continued towards me, stake in hand.

"Oh, are we playing cops and robbers, except its Strigoi and Guardian?" I asked. He just kept coming towards me. I tried to fake him out, and run, but he was quick. We did this around the gym, him trying to catch me, which wasn't an easy task for him either. I was quick too. I stayed away for awhile, before he got me backed against a wall. I growled at him, and tried to maneuver my way out, but he only pushed me further into the wall, putting his hands on either side of my head. I grinned.

"You got me." I said. He nodded.

"Your fast." He told me. I smiled.

"I used to run like crazy for my trainings before." I said. I was now aware of the fact that he still had me pinned to the wall. I met his gaze, staring into his crystal blue eyes, and getting lost in them. Before I knew it, he was leaning forwards, towards me. _Move Rose, Move! _I was screaming in my head, but I couldn't force my legs to move. When his lips met with mine, a fire shot through my entire body, and I kissed him back. I wasn't sure what was happening to me, but it had been so long since I'd had any kind of contact like this with anyone. I stepped forward, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me against him. It felt so good to be with someone like this. His kiss, his lips against mine sent a shiver of heat down my spine. I then realized something. _This guy is my mentor. _It was like a bucket of cold water thrown over me. I pulled away, and pulled out of his hold.

"Oh God." I whispered, before running for the door.

"Rose, wait… I-" His plea was cut off by the door shutting behind me. I just kept running, just incase he came after me. I didn't stop until I was inside the safety of my dorm, with the door closed. I stood inside the door of my dorm. My hand went to my lips. I could still taste him. I was breathing hard, trying to figure out what the hell that was. He'd kissed me. I kissed him back. I didn't understand. Dimitri was who I wanted. Dimitri was the only one I could ever see myself with… but now Sebastian… and We… and I.. and I liked it. I didn't push him away when he kissed me, because I liked it. I wanted to keep kissing him. I wanted him to keep kissing me. _God, what the hell is wrong with you Rose? _I asked myself. I walked into my bathroom, and got dressed, and grabbed my stuff, heading over to Lissa's dorm before school. As I got to the hallway her dorm was down, I saw Christian open the door, and looked out into the hallway.

"BUSTED!" I called from down the hall. He jumped, and his eyes got wide.

"Damn it, Rose. You scared me." He said. I giggled.

"Hallways clear that way if you hurry." I told him. He nodded.

"Thanks." He said, before he started running. I giggled as I walked into Lissa's dorm.

"Hey Rose. Your up early." She said. I nodded.

"I had practice." I told her.

"Oh… That's right. How's that-" She started to ask, but then stopped when I looked down.

"What is it?" She asked me.

"Its… Its nothing." I assured her.

"You're lying to me, Rose." She said. I sighed.

"How do you always know?" I asked.

"I know you. What's wrong?" She asked.

"Sebastian and I… We kind of-" I looked away.

"You kind of… what, Rose?" She asked, her eyes big.

"He kissed me this morning." I said. She raised an eyebrow.

"Kiss.. Like a peck on the lips, or like a kiss." She said.

"Well, I hate to break it to you Liss, but I know what exactly it is you consider a kiss because I think you consider having sex with Christian, kissing him… so…" She growled at me.

"Rose, I'm asking a serious question." She said. Her face was red though.

"We… we kissed… like, lips, bodies together, arm around my waist, my arms around his neck." I said.

"So, he didn't just kiss you. You kissed him back." She said.

"I didn't want to be rude." I said, not meeting her eyes. Liss snorted.

"You wanted to kiss him." She accused. I shook my head.

"No.. I didn't.. I mean… I didn't until he kissed me." I said. She giggled.

"That's so cute. What happened afterwards?" She asked.

"I… I ran." I said. She chuckled.

"You ran from a hot guy after he kiss you? Something's definitely wrong with you, Rose." She said. I growled at her. She smiled.

"Sorry." She said.

"Come on. We're going to be late, and I can't afford to have Stan bitching at me today." I said. She nodded, and we headed out to class. I got to Stan's class early, which was weird for me. I knew it, and so did he, because he gave me a weird look when I walked in.

"Hathaway, you're here early." He said.

"I know. Didn't have anything better to do." I said. He just looked at me for a second, before looking back down at the papers on his desk. I sat there, as kids started filing into class, and the bell rang. Classes went on as normal but I couldn't seem to get Sebastian out of my head. When I closed my eyes, he was all I saw. I could still feel the way his lips felt against mine. I sighed. When lunch rolled around, I saw him walk into the cafeteria. _Shit. _I walked inside to see Liss and Christian sitting at our table, and Sebastian walked over to their table, and knelt down, talking to Liss. I walked over, and sat down. He looked up at me, met my eyes for just a second before looking back at Liss. When Liss looked at me, I shook my head. Christian gave me a weird look. When he got done talking to Liss, he looked at me. He had a bit of a haunted look on his face. Not a bad haunted look, a good one, like he was remembering what had happened a few hours ago.

"I'll see you at practice?" He asked. In his eyes was a something totally different question. What I saw was _you are going to show up to practice, even after we made-out… right? _I nodded.

"I'll be there." I said, hoping my voice didn't give away anything I was feeling. He nodded.

"Good." He said, before turning and walking away. I slammed my head against the lunch table. Christian chuckled, but I heard Liss slap him.

"Rose, I don't see why your making a big deal out of it. Its clear why he did it. Did you see the way he looked at you?" She asked.

"What happened?" Christian asked. Liss turned to tell him, but I slapped the table in front of her.

"DON'T!" I said. Christian frowned.

"But Rose… Why can't I know?" Christian complained. "I wanna know the gossip." I rolled my eyes.

"No.. Liss, I will hurt you." I said, looking at her. She looked at me, and back at Christian.

"How can you say no to that face?" She asked, touching Christian's cheek. I rolled my eyes.

"You can tell him, but while you do it… I'm outta here." I said. I got up and started to walk away.

"And fire boy? You tell anyone… We'll see how much your girlfriend loves you if I neuter you." He gave me a mean look. I smiled my man-eater smile at him, and walked out, heading off to my next classes.


	8. Trying To Spin The World The Other Way!

The last few classes drug by. I was thankful for it though. I wasn't in any way in a rush to get to practice. When the bell rang, I sauntered towards the gym. I heard my name called, and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Little Dhampir. It's been too long." Adrian said. I chuckled.

"Adrian, its been two days." I said. He smiled.

"That's two days too long without your beautiful face." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"Where are you headed?" He asked.

"Gym. I have practice." I said. He frowned.

"Darn, I was hoping we could hang out." He said. I smiled.

"Maybe tomorrow, kay?" I said. He smiled.

"Okay." He said, as we reached the door to the gym. He opened it for me, and grinned.

"Have fun Little Dhampir." He said. _Oh, I'm sure it will be a blast. _I thought to myself as I walked in. Sebastian was sitting up against the far wall with a magazine in his hand again. He looked up, and just like before… His eyes lit up with my entrance.

"Hey." He said, standing. He looked a little shy.

"Hi." I said, not meeting his gaze.

"I didn't think you'd show up." He said. I shrugged.

"I don't have a choice." I said.

"Of course you have a choice." He said. I shook my head.

"Not according to Kirova, and Alberta." I said. "I have to have practices unless something is going on, and I can't practice." He nodded.

"Oh." He said.

"So… What are we doing today?" I asked, making sure not to meet his eyes. I walked towards the door and threw my bag down before walking back to the center of the gym.

"Rose, we need to talk." He said. I shook my head.

"No.. we don't. We have nothing to talk about. Can we practice… please?" I asked. He took a step towards me, and I took a step back.

"Rose!" He said. I looked up to meet his eyes.

"What?" I asked, sounding kind of harsh.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"For what?" I asked.

"I kissed you. I shouldn't have. I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry." He said. I shook my head.

"I kissed back." I said. He nodded.

"You did, but still… I shouldn't have kissed you in the first place." He told me.

"Why'd you do it?" I asked. He gaze me a strange look.

"Huh?"

"Why'd you do it? Kiss me, I mean." I repeated. I watched his face turn a little pink.

"Because… I.." He stopped. Liss had been right.

"I think, I'm kind of starting to develop feelings for you… a little." He said.

"That kiss wasn't a little of anything." I said.

"You're forgetting who kissed back." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"Don't remind me." I said. He frowned. I chuckled.

"I definitely didn't mean that the way it sounded." I told him. He nodded, but didn't look like he believed me.

"Why'd you kiss me back?" He asked. Quite honestly, I hadn't been sure why I kissed him back. I wasn't sure why I'd done any of the things I did earlier.

"I… I honestly don't know." I said.

"You don't… feel anything for me?" He asked. I stared at him for a second, and took a deep breath.

"I do.. I mean… I didn't know I wanted to kiss you until you kissed me. I know I feel something for you… but after everything that happened… I just don't want to really except having feelings for anyone else…" I said. I was looking down at the floor, as I admitted this. It wasn't something I liked admitting. I didn't ever want to say I had any kind of feelings for anyone besides Dimitri, but I did. I had feelings for Sebastian. They were buried deep, but they were there. He pulled my chin up to look at him.

"Rosa, I would never hurt you." He whispered.

"That's what Dimitri said too, and you see how we ended up." I told him.

"You really think I would hurt you like that, after everything you've already been through?" He asked. I shrugged.

"I don't know… would you?" I asked. He shook his head. He pulled my chin up too meet his eyes.

"I wont ever hurt you. You can always count on me. I promise." He whispered. I watched as his eyes traveled down my face to my lips, and then back up to meet my eyes again. He leaned in a little bit, just a bit, and met my eyes with a serious intensity, as if asking me if he could kiss me.

"Sebastian… I-" I started, but he cut me off by placing a finger to my lips. He took my hand in his and leaned forward, brushing his lips against mine. The moment before his lips touched mine, I was timid and nervous. I wasn't sure that this was what I wanted, but the moment his lips brushed against mine, I knew it was exactly what I wanted. Just like before, I stepped forward, bringing us closer. I intertwined my fingers with his, as he pulled my arms up around his neck. I wasn't sure what came over me, but in this moment, all I could focus on was Sebastian's soft lips moving perfectly in sync with mine. It was the most passionate kiss, and I loved every second of it. When he pulled away from me, he smiled. He laid his forehead against mine, and took a deep breath.

"Thank you." He whispered. I shook my head and kissed his lips again.

"No. Thank you." I murmured, staring up into his eyes. "Thank you for making me see that… I don't have to live my life mourning over something that probably never would have happened. Thank you for helping me see that… that I can be happy without him." He grinned.

"I'm glad I could help you." He said. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled me into a hug.

"I've got to go, its getting kind of late." I said. He nodded.

"Do.. Do you mind if I walk you to your dorm?" He asked. I stared at him for a second.

"I would love for you too, but I need some time alone. A little time to clear my head, and think about… some things. If you don't mind." I told him. I saw his face slip into a pout, but then he pulled it together, and smiled.

"I understand." He said. I nodded.

"I'll… I'll see you in the morning?" I asked. He nodded.

"Okay." I said. I started to walk away, and let my hands slowly slip out of his. The moment my hand fell from his, I felt strangely alone. Ever since Dimitri had left, I'd felt like I had no one, but now… I felt like I had someone. Like someone wanted me. You knew it was bad when you could stand in a crowd of people and feel alone. I'd heard people tell me they felt like that but I never believed it. Now I did. I knew exactly how they felt. I walked out into the night air, and took a deep breath. Things were getting to be really… really strange. I wasn't sure where this left Sebastian and I. It was like.. We had this intimate, heart to heart moment, we kissed, it was sweet, and then… reality set in and WHAM, I'm in this weird-ass thing with my mentor. I don't know, but I'm really confused. I started to go to Lissa's dorm but once again thought better of it. When I was kissing Sebastian, I was pretty sure all of 'those' feelings weren't mine, so… I just continued walking until I got to my dorm. I walked inside, and took a quick shower. After that, I crawled into my bed, staring at the ceiling. I had no idea what to make of anything. He kissed me this morning, I kiss back, and ran. He kissed me again, I kissed back, had a heart to heart, and ran. I confused myself. I closed my eyes, and fell asleep. Before I knew it, Adrian showed up.

"Hey Little Dhampir." He said. I smiled.

"Hey Adrian." I said. He gave me a strange look.

"Your aura's a little blue. Is someone confused?" He asked. I sighed.

"A little."

"What's going on?" He asked me.

"Can you keep your yap shut?" I asked. He nodded. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Swear on my life you wont say anything to anyone?" He growled.

"You know I don't like swearing on your life, Little Dhampir." He said.

"Do it, or I wont tell you." I said. He nodded.

"I swear on your beautiful and precious life." He said.

"Good. I'm not sure… whats really going on between Sebastian and me, but we've kind of kissed… two or three times." I said. He just stared at me.

"Another guardian? Really, Rose? I thought you would have learned your lesson after the first one." He said. I growled.

"I don't go looking for these guys, they come to me." I said.

"Isn't that usually how it works with you? The guys come too you?" He asked. I smiled.

"Yeah, that's why I have you now, and I can't get rid of you." I said. He sneered at me. I giggled.

"I'm sorry. Anyway… yeah, we kissed like.. two or three times, and I think we've got something… going on and I don't know what it is… exactly." I said.

"Do you have feelings for him?" He asked. I nodded.

"I think so." I said.

"Does he have feelings for you?" He asked. I nodded

"He says he does… or he's starting to develop them." I told him. He shook his head.

"You and the older men, Rose… I swear." He said.

"Hey… He's only a year or so older than you." I told him. He shrugged.

"Doesn't matter. He's till older." He accused. I rolled my eyes.

"Not helping Ivashkov." I said.

"I'm sorry. I just… I really don't know what to tell you, Little Dhampir." He said. I groaned.

"Still not helping, Ivashkov." I said. He frowned.

"I'm sorry, Rose. You'll have to figure that one out on your own." He said. I sighed.

"That's usually how it works." I muttered. He shook his head.

"No… You know I'm always here for you Little Dhampir, but I can't help you. This one is all you. All I can tell you, is to follow your heart. If he's something you feel your ready for… you go for it." He said. I could see the jealousy in his eyes. Adrian had always wanted me and him together, but I'd never seen Adrian that way. I saw him as a brother, a best friend.

"I don't know." I whispered. He nodded.

"You do what you want. If you think you're ready to move on, and be happy, and take the next step, you do it. Follow your heart, Little Dhampir, and whatever happens, I'll be here, standing behind you… no matter what." He said. I nodded, and smiled.

"Thank you." I said. He nodded, and kissed my forehead.

"Sweet dreams, Little Dhampir." He said, before the surreal dream world faded around us, and then… I was back in my own dreams.


	9. What Was Meant To Be!

The next morning, I woke up in a strange mood. It wasn't exactly a good mood or a bad mood, but I just felt strange. I wasn't sure what it was, but it was weird. I got up, and got ready for practice, not really sure if I wanted to go or not. When I was ready, I headed to the gym. I looked at my watch before I walked in, and realized I was about twenty-minutes early. How I managed that, I'll never know. I woke up around the same time I normally did. I opened the door to find the same scene I'd found a few days ago. Sebastian on the pull up bar, with no shirt on. Good God. Making a decision about what I'm supposed to do with this situation between us isn't an easy task when he looks like that. I let the door quietly shut behind me, and just admired. There was only one mans body who I knew was as perfect as Sebastian's, and that was of course Dimitri, but by God, Sebastian gave Dimitri a run for his money in that department. I had this serious urge to walk across the gym, and run my hands down his perfectly sculpted chest and stomach. Sebastian dropped down from the bar, and turned towards the door. He jumped, and then smiled. I wasn't looking at his face. I was looking at that perfect body of his.

"Goodmorning." He said. I wasn't paying attention.

"Hi." I said, eyes still on his body. A perfect sheen of sweat lined his body, making him glisten as he came into the lighter part of the gym.

"How are you this morning?" He asked.

"Fantastic." I muttered, trying to pry my eyes away. He chuckled.

"See something you like?" He asked, a hit of a seductive tone played on his voice. I looked up to meet his eyes, and smiled.

"Nope." I said, shaking my head, but winking at him. Each one of his abs was so perfect, each one distinct and separate. I really wanted to touch him. I mean… REALLY wanted to touch him. He chuckled. When he came to a stop a few feet in front of me, I had to resist that urge. My hand itched as I stood there, keeping my eyes on his face. He must have noticed I was struggling, because he raised an eyebrow.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I shook my head, and sighed.

"Will you please put your clothes back on?" I asked. He smiled.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because… you make it hard for me to focus on your face with all of this going on." I said, punching him in the stomach lightly. There I'd touched him. You think that'd be enough? No. I wanted to trace each outline with my fingers, feel how each muscle moved as his body worked. _GOD ROSE! GET IT TOGETHER! _I was screaming at myself.

"But you didn't see anything you liked… remember?" He asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever." I said. I started to turn away, but he gently grabbed my wrist, pulling my hands to press against his stomach and his chest. Good God, he's killing me.

"Sebastian." I warned. He smiled.

"What?" He asked, acting as if he'd done nothing. He released me, and I let my hands slide down his chest and stomach, running my hands over the perfect plains of his body. I saw him hold back the shudder that threatened to escape at my touch. I knew that all too well. I'd seen men try and hide it a hundred times, but didn't succeed. Every man was mush under the touch of Rosemarie Hathaway, and Sebastian was no exception. Since he liked to tease me, I thought I could play that game.

"So.. Are we going to practice… or not?" I asked. He nodded and motioned to the mats. I had a hoodie on, with just a sports bra underneath. I used to work out in just a sports bra, and pants all the time, and since he still neglected to put his shirt back on, two could play at that game.

"It's… really hot in here." I said, trying to make it seem like I was up to absolutely nothing. I grabbed the brim of my hoodie, and pulled it over my head. I folded it, and laid it on the ground next to the mat. When I turned back around to look at him, I could see so many emotions play across his face.

"We're… We're going to practice… with you like that?" He asked, having a hard time speaking clearly. I nodded.

"This is how I worked out before I had a mentor… so.." I said, shrugging. He nodded, not saying anything else. He pulled his t-shirt back over his head, and with a smile playing at the corner of his lips, he walked over to the mat. I stepped onto the mat, and readied myself.

"You ready?" He asked. I grinned.

"So ready." I said. He nodded. We circled a few times, but I couldn't help but notice his eyes weren't on my face. I almost laughed when I lunged for him. Usually, he blocked my attack, but he didn't this time. He was a little bit distracted. Maybe I would always come to practice like this, throw him off where I could kick his ass all the time. I had a good grip on him, and I tried to take him down with it, but he grabbed a hold of my bare waist, which caught me off guard, and freed himself. I cussed myself. He tried to swing low, and kick my legs out from under me, but I saw it, and jumped, dodging his leg. I threw a punch, catching him in the chest. He stumbled, and I used to my advantage, letting out a fury of attacks. He blocked most of them, but a few of them connected. He caught me off guard when he grabbed a hold of my waist, and pulled me against him, our bodies touching, and our lips just inches apart. I knew what was coming next, so stealthily, I maneuvered out of his arms, pinning his behind his back. He surprised me, when he leaned down, and threw me over his shoulder onto the mat. He tried to stake me, but I used my feet to distract him, letting out a fury of kicks, not trying to actually hurt him, but to just give me enough time to get up. I finally saw my opening, and stood. He smiled at me. I watched as his eyes trailed up and down my body. I was sweating pretty heavy now, but so was he. I'd be willing to bet he was glistening under the pesky t-shirt. It was hard not to smile at the thought. My smile distracted him, because with that, I lunged at him, and took him to the mat. I ended up pretty much laying on his chest, with my hands over his heart.

"Your dead." I said. He grinned.

"I wouldn't mind death if you were the one delivering it." He said. I giggled. I noticed his eyes weren't on mine anymore, they were on my mouth. He met my gaze for a second before looking back at my mouth.

"Are you going to kiss me or not?" I asked. He looked like that caught him off guard. He smiled, and rolled over, putting himself on top of me. He stared down at me for a second before leaning down, bringing our mouths closer. He ran one hand down my stomach, leaving it at my waist, and brushed his lips against mine. I smiled against his mouth as I reached up and ran my fingers through his dirty blonde hair, clutching it in my hands. He ran his hand over my bare stomach, causing me to shudder underneath him. I loved the way his strong calloused hands felt on my bare skin. When he pulled his mouth away from mine, and pressed a kiss to my neck.

"I'm going to be late. I have to go." I said. He shook his head, and pressed another kiss to my neck.

"No.. You can't leave yet." He whispered. "Just a few more minutes."

"I have to go, Sebastian." I said, giggling. He just held me tighter.

"Please?" I whispered, pressing a kiss right below his ear. He smiled, and sighed.

"Fine." He said.

"Your forgetting these practices are supposed to be about me practicing." I said, as he rolled off me.

"We did practice. You took me out." He said.

"And then, you took advantage of me." I said, grinning at him, as I fixed my hair. He chuckled.

"I wouldn't exactly call it that." He said. I nodded.

"And what would you call it Guardian Lewis?" I asked. He chuckled.

"If I remember correctly, you asked." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm outta here." I said, turning my back to walk away. He was still laying on the mat. As I reached the door and started to put my sweatshirt on, he called after me.

"Rosa?" He said. I turned and pulled it over my head.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Be sure you wear that same thing to practice after-school." He said. I giggled.

"Don't count on it." I said, before turning and walking out. I ran back to my dorm, and quickly changed my shirt, ran a brush through my hair, and grabbed my make-up bag, before sprinting off to Stan's class. I walked through the door a second after the bell rang.

"Sorry… Got held up at practice again." I said. He nodded.

"Used to it. Just have seat Hathaway." He said. I did what he asked. I wondered what Sebastian said to him to make him act this way towards me. I sat in my desk, thinking back to practice. Sebastian and I laying wrapped in each others arms, kissing softly. It was what I'd always wanted from Dimitri, but never got it. I smiled. I could still taste him on my lips. I liked Sebastian. I really did, and I honestly think we can become more. We can be the way I always wanted to be with Dimitri, maybe we can be more than I ever wanted from Dimitri. I could get over him. I would. I smiled to myself as I sat through Stan's boring lecture. Lunch rolled around, and Liss and Christian were sitting at the table already. I walked over and plopped down across from them.

"Hey guys." I said. Liss gave me a strange look.

"Hey Rose." She said. She obviously caught on to my seriously good mood.

"How are you guys?" I asked. She nodded.

"We're good. How are you?" She asked.

"I'm good." I said, nodding.

"Did you two make-out again?" Christian asked.

"CHRISTIAN!" Liss and I shrieked.

"What?" He asked.

"What did I tell you?" I asked.

"You said not to tell anyone, and I didn't. I asked you a question." He said. I rolled my eyes at him. Liss was looking over my shoulder, and when I turned around he was on the backside of the lunch room, standing there, looking all guardian like. He met my eye for a second before winking, and looking away. I smirked at him, and turned back to look at Liss. Her eyes were wide, and on me now.

"You two are together now?" She asked.

"No." I said.

"What are you?" She asked. I shrugged.

"Right now, it's a friend with benefits thing." Christian said.

"I'll neuter you fire boy. I'm not kidding. I can do it. I've decapitated Strigoi. I know what I'm doing." I snapped. He cringed a little. I nodded, and grimaced at him.

"Did you two.. Again?" She asked. I nodded.

"This morning at practice." I told her. She raised an eyebrow.

"How was it?" She asked.

"LISSA!" Christian and I screeched. She giggled.

"Sorry." She said. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm going to class." I said. "I'll see you guys later." I got up, and walked out of the door, catching Sebastian's eye just before I walked out. I knew it wouldn't be long before he followed after me. I got about half-way down the hall, before I heard his quiet footsteps and felt his arms around my waist.

"Where are you going?" He asked. I chuckled.

"Class. I try not to be late to my other classes since you like to make me late for first period." I said, giving him a look of mock anger when I turned around.

"Ms. Hathaway, you have no idea how sorry I am about making you late this morning." He said, in a voice full of mock sorrow. I giggled.

"Mhmm. You didn't seem to care so much at the time." I said.

"But I realized how horrible it was of me to keep you. I'm terribly sorry." He said. I giggled, and tried to push him, but he dodged.

"Quit. That voice is annoying." I told him. He laughed, and cleared his throat.

"I know." He said. I laughed.

"Are you having a good day so far?" He asked. I nodded.

"Hopefully no one messes it up, because then I'll have to take it out on you at practice." I said. He chuckled.

"I wont be taken down so easy again." He said. I chuckled.

"If I wear the same thing I wore this morning you will." I said, giggling, and turning my back to walk away. He followed.

"I told you wear it again. I've got to get used to the beauty if I want to take you down. It'll be extremely difficult, but I'll manage." He said.

"You should stop fooling yourself. You wont ever be able to focus when I'm dressed like that." I said. He growled.

"Not fair." He muttered. I giggled.

"I'll see you at practice." I told him. He nodded, and kissed my forehead before walking a way. I smiled as the bell rang, and I headed into my class.


	10. Thinking Of You!

Classes went by pretty quick. I mostly talked in my last two classes, so… It went by fast. I headed out and started towards the gym. I was kind of excited for practice. I walked in, and smiled as Sebastian came out of the office. He grinned at me.

"Hello Ms. Hathaway." He said. I smiled.

"Hello Guardian Lewis." I said. He wrinkled his nose.

"What?" I asked.

"I don't like formal names." He said. I chuckled.

"My mom used to get mad when I called Guardian Belikov, Dimitri. She couldn't stand it. She'd correct me every time." I said. He smiled.

"I haven't seen your mom in a long time." He said. I nodded.

"That makes two of us." I told him. He frowned.

"I'm sorry." He said. I shook my head.

"Don't apologize. Its not your fault." I told him. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and kissed the top of my head. I turned to him, and met his eyes.

"Can I ask you something?" He nodded.

"Anything." He said. I looked down and back up.

"What are we?" I asked. Liss asking had made me wonder. We made out, and acted kind of like a couple, so… I wanted to know what he classified us as.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Are we… are we together, friends with benefits, mentor and student? What exactly are we?" I asked him, trying to really explain what I was asking.

"We can be whatever you want us to be, Rosa." He said. I narrowed my eyes.

"That doesn't answer my question." I said.

"What do you want us to be?" He asked. I sighed.

"I don't know." I said. He nodded.

"Don't you want to be with me?" He asked. I looked up and met his eyes.

"I think I do." I said. He smiled.

"I want whatever you want." He whispered. I sighed.

"Do you want to be with me?" I asked. He grinned that adorable grin of his.

"I couldn't think of anything I'd really want more." He said. I smiled.

"Really?" I asked. He nodded. I could tell from the look in his eyes he was serious. I smiled. He pulled my mouth up to his, and pressed a sweet kiss to my lips.

"So… to clarify everything… we are a couple now?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yes." I said. He smiled.

"Good." He said. I grinned.

"We have to get some things straight first… if this is going to work." I told him. He raised an eyebrow, but nodded.

"Okay." He said. I nodded.

"I don't mean to bring Dimitri up now, but when we were… falling, he was always worried that we would be more worried about each other than we would about protecting Lissa. I cannot put my best friends like in danger like that. If you think that your going to be more worried about me than Liss, we can't do this. I can't put her in danger." I said. "So.. If this.. If us will get in the way of you protecting Lissa, then we can't."

"I wouldn't ever let a relationship get in the way of my job. They come first." He said, saying what all guardians had shoved into my brain since I'd began school here.

"Your serious?" I asked. He nodded.

"I wouldn't. I plan to protect Liss with my life, Rose. I promise." He said. I nodded.

"Good." I said. He smiled, and pulled my mouth up to his, and kissed me.

"Are we going to practice?" I asked. He chuckled.

"I could think of better things to do." He said, pressed a kiss to the side of my neck.

"We need to practice." I told him, trying to step away from him. He snuck an arm around my waist, and pulled me too him.

"But Rosa." He complained. I shook my head.

"I'll tell you what… I take you down, you have to kiss me. You take me down, I have to kiss you." I said. He chuckled.

"I can do that." He said. I smiled.

"Lets do this." I said. He towed me over to the mat, and crouched down.

"You sure you wanna do this?" He asked. I nodded.

"Don't hold back." I said. He chuckled.

"For this prize, don't plan on it." He said. I grinned. We circled, and he stepped forward, throwing a punch. I ducked under his arm and ended up behind him. I giggled. He shook his head and gave me a seductive grin, we then began. We both threw a fury of punches and kicks, some were blocked, some connected. I took a few nasty punches. I thought about feigning being hurt, to sneak an attack, but I wanted to earn my kiss fair and square. I tried to knock his legs out from under him, but he was starting to catch onto my moves. If I wanted to win, I was going to have to try something a little different. As I started to stage another attack, he kicked my knee's out from under me, causing me to fall to the mat. A cuss escaped my lips as he fought to get to my chest. I pushed him away, and tried to get up. He made it extremely hard to do. I tried to get up, but he'd knock me back down. I was losing this fight. I thought about giving up, when I saw my opening and knocked his legs out from under him, trying to crawl over top of him. He fought though, making it extremely difficult. I managed to straddle him, but he rolled over, and finally placed his hand over my heart.

"Fuck." I spat. He chuckled.

"I win." He said.

"You bastard." I said, smiling as I pushed him off me.

"Where's my kiss, honey?" He asked. I grinned. I rolled over on top of him, and grinned. My hair fell around my face, lining his face. He smiled up at me.

"Congrats on kicking my ass." I muttered, sarcasm thick in my voice. I leaned down and pressed my lips to his. It began sweet, and completely innocent, but soon increased into something more. His tongue traced my bottom lip, asking for entrance, which I granted. He rolled over, putting himself on top of me. I loved the feel of his body against mine. He knotted his fingers into my hair, and clutched it in his hands. I smiled against his lips. I ran my hands through his hair, and let my hands trace over his face. When he pulled away to breathe, he chuckled breathlessly.

"Thank you." He murmured.

"Your welcome." I said. He pressed another kiss to my lips, before standing.

"I've got to go." I told him, after he helped me up. He nodded.

"Now… this time, can I walk you too your dorm?" He asked. I nodded. I turned and grabbed my things, and headed out the door with him by my side.

"Today was interesting." I said. He chuckled.

"I told you I wouldn't hold back with that prize." He said. I smiled. When we got to my door, he took my hand and looked down the hall. He lifted my chin, and kissed me sweetly.

"Sweet dreams Rosa." He murmured. I smiled.

"Night Sebastian." I said, before walking inside. I stood on the other side of my door, and just smiled. I was so content. Finally, in a world where I felt so alone, I had someone. Someone who would help me, and keep me strong when I needed to be. I showered quickly, and crawled into bed, tired from the ass whooping I'd received earlier.


	11. But For The Way We Let It End!

The next few weeks went by, and things just kept getting better and better. Sebastian and I were doing good, practice was going well, and I was ever learning a bunch of new moves from him. I was becoming a better fighter, and could take him down a lot more than I ever could before. Things were great, and my life was finally starting to turn around. I had the life I'd always wanted. When Thanksgiving rolled around, everyone went off to spend it with there families. Liss, me, and Sebastian stayed put. We were the only people there. Even some of the teachers disappeared to spend it with their families. Liss, Sebastian, and I hung out pretty frequently over these days. We did some practice drills with Liss, using her to see if I would really be able to protect her. Although Sebastian wasn't a strigoi, he was pretty close to being as strong and quick as one. The day of Thanksgiving, Christian left to visit his aunt. He wanted Liss to go, but she didn't want too. I knew why. She didn't want to see Dimitri there with her. I didn't ever want to see that either. So, so skipped going for Thanksgiving. Adrian, of course left the day before and said he'd be back Thanksgiving night. That boy didn't have anything better to do with his time than be stuck up my ass. I could tell from the way Sebastian acted around me when Adrian was around, he didn't really like the way Adrian was towards me. I'd grown used to his joking and playfully nature, but someone who hadn't been around him as long… might not appreciate it. Liss, Sebastian, and I sat in the middle of my room, playing a board game, when Liss yawned.

"I'm tired. Think you could finish without me?" She asked. I looked up at her, and nodded.

"If you want… yeah." I said. She nodded.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow." She said, standing.

"I'll walk you back to your dorm. Sebastian, you can stay put if you want, and I'll be right back." I told him. He nodded.

"I'll be here." He said. I smiled, and followed Liss out. She grinned at me, as we walked.

"Ya'll are so cute, Rose." She said. I chuckled.

"Thanks." I said.

"How long has it been now?" She asked.

"Maybe three weeks. Four tops." I told her. She nodded.

"You two are really good for each other." She said. I smiled. When we reached her door, I hugged her.

"Happy Thanksgiving Liss." I said. She smiled.

"You too. Love you, Rose." She said.

"Love you too." I said, before turning around and walking back to my dorm. When I got there, Sebastian had already neatly stored the game back in my closet, and was now lounging in my bed.

"Can I ask what you think your doing, sir?" I asked. He chuckled.

"Oh nothing, ma'am." He said. I walked over to the side of the bed, where he grabbed my arm and pulled me in.

"You know, I couldn't fly home to Italy to see my family, but I spent Thanksgiving with you, and that's pretty amazing.." He said.

"Glad you think so." I said. We lay face to face in silence for a minute, before he smiled. He looked like he wanted to say something… but didn't. I almost asked, but didn't want to push him. He would tell me if he wanted me to know. We just laid there, for awhile, gazing into each others eyes.

"Do you mind if… I sleep here tonight?" He asked. I chuckled, and shook my head.

"No.. I don't." I said. He smiled.

"Thank you." He said. He leaned forward, and pressed his mouth to mine. I moved closer, so our bodies were now touching as I reached up and placed my hand on his neck. Dimitri popped into my mind, which was bad I know, seeing as how me and my boyfriend were making-out on my bed, but I remember thinking back to when he was here, and stuff like this was all I wanted to do with him, and we never did. I quickly pushed thoughts of him away, and deepened my kiss with Sebastian. He rolled onto me, as he knotted his fingers into my hair. I ran my hands underneath his shirt, feeling the muscled plains of his body. I ran my hands all the way up to his chest, and then pulled his shirt off over his head, tossing it to the ground beside us.

"See something you like?" He asked, kissing down my neck. I giggled.

"Nope." I said, answering the same way I answered last time, then I winked at him. He chuckled and brought me up a little bit, raising my body enough where he could get my hoodie off. He threw it to the floor with his shirt, and brought his mouth back to mine. He kissed down my throat, and my chest. It was hard to keep any kind of composure when he was with me like this.

"Sebastian." I warned. He chuckled against the skin of my neck.

"I know." He murmured, causing me to shudder. He smiled and pressed another kiss to my mouth. After a few more minutes, he rolled off me and onto his side.

"I'm so glad I have you in my life, Rosa." He whispered, running a hand down my bare stomach. I smiled, and took his hand in mine.

"I'm glad to have you in my life too." I said. I kissed his lips one more time before yawning. He chuckled, and turned the lamp off. He pulled me against his chest, and wrapped his arms around me.

"Goodnight Rosa." He whispered. I snuggled closer into his chest, and sighed in contentment.

"Night Sebastian." I murmured against his bare chest. With that, I closed my eyes and slowly fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed. I frowned. I sat up, and looked around to see there wasn't anyone there. I saw a piece of paper laying on the pillow next to mine.

_Rosa,_

_Thank you for allowing me to stay last night. That was probably one of the best nights sleep I've gotten in awhile. I'll see you later. _

_Always,_

_Sebastian._

I rolled out of bed, and got dressed. I started to go find Lissa, when I saw her talking to Sebastian. I stood there for a second, debating on walking over, but I just stood against the wall, waiting. Finally, Sebastian walked off, and I walked over to her. She smiled.

"Hey Rose." She said.

"Hey… What were you talking to Sebastian about?" I asked. She shrugged.

"Nothing. Just saying hello." She said. She looked kind of nervous, and I felt a bit of a lie through the bond. I didn't press though.

"Where was he going?" I asked.

"He had a shift. He said he'd meet up with you later." She said. I nodded. We started walking and went back to her room, where Christian was waiting. He smiled at me.

"Hey, Rose." He said. I grinned.

"Hey fire-boy. How was Thanksgiving with Aunt Tasha and Uncle Dimitri?" I asked, making a face. He smiled."It was good. Dimitri wasn't there much. He stays in his room a lot from what I hear." He said. I nodded. I didn't want to think to deeply as to why that was.

"That's good." I said. He chuckled.

"He asked about you." He said. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Your kidding." I said. He smiled, and shook his head.

"Christian… Stop." Liss said. I looked at her, and shook my head at her.

"No… what'd he say?" I asked.

"He asked how you were, what you'd been up to, how you were doing with the new mentor… stuff like that." He said. I just stared at him.

"Christian… that's enough." Liss said. I shook my head.

"What'd you tell him?" I asked.

"I told him you were good, and you've been training and doing school work, and stuff. I told him you liked your new mentor. I told him you two were kind of together." He said. I just stared at him.

"And he said?" I asked.

"Christian… I'm serious… Shut up." She said. I looked at Liss, and narrowed my eyes.

"Can it Liss, I want to know." I said.

"He didn't really say anything. He just looked at me, and nodded. Then, he got up, and went to his room. We didn't see him the rest of the night." He said. I was at loss for words.

"Rose.." Liss said. I shook my head.

"What?" I asked.

"Are you-" She started, but I smiled a little."I'm fine." I told her. She didn't look like she believed me.

"I'm going to go find Sebastian." I said.

"Rose… Wait.. I shouldn't have told you that… I'm sorry." Christian said."No. You told me what I wanted to know. I'm fine. I just… I just want to be with Sebastian right now. I'm fine.. Okay." I told him. He nodded, and I turned and walked out. I didn't understand why Dimitri would react that way. He left me. I didn't get it. You leave me, say you want another woman, and the react like that whenever he left me. I shook my head, and kept walking, looking for Sebastian. As I walked the halls looking, I heard someone speak from behind me.

"Looking for someone, beautiful?" I heard. I stopped, and smiled.

"Maybe. I was wondering if you might have seen my boyfriend. He's very handsome, stands about six three, he's muscular, and absolutely beautiful." I said, before turning around. He chuckled.

"I might have seen him somewhere around here. Give me a mirror, and I can find him quick." He said. I smiled.

"I told Liss to tell you I'd come find you later." He said. I nodded.

"I know. She told me, but… I wanted to come find you. I wanted to see you. I don't like waking up to a cold bed." I said. He chuckled.

"Maybe if someone woke up a little earlier, it wouldn't have been so cold." He said. I giggled.

"I need my beauty sleep." I told him. He shook his head.

"You can't get anymore beautiful than you already are. I wish you wouldn't try." He said. I smiled. He pulled my mouth to his, and kissed me sweetly.

"Thank you." I said. He raised an eyebrow."For what?" He asked.

"Making my day." I said. He smiled.

"Glad I could be of assistance." He said. I smiled, and laid my head against his shoulder.

"So… you want to walk the rest of my shift with me?" He asked, holding out his hand to me. I grinned and took his hand, intertwining my fingers with his.

"Lets go." I said. We started around the backside of the campus, just walking happily along the ward line.

"So… what made you walk all across campus to find me?" He asked.

"I just… needed to see you is all." I said. He raised an eyebrow."Are you being honest with me?" He asked. I shook my head. He chuckled.

"What made you come find me honey?" He asked. I sighed.

"Christian was telling me some stuff about Dimitri, and I… I don't know… It made me want to be around you." I said. He smiled.

"What about Dimitri?" He asked.

"When Christian was at his Aunt's for Thanksgiving, he said Dimitri was asking about me, and when Christian told him, I liked my new mentor, and that we were kind of together, Dimitri just got up, and went to his room. He said he didn't come out all night." I said. Sebastian chuckled.

"What's funny?" I asked. He smiled.

"It sounds to me like he's finally figuring out what he left behind." He said. I shrugged.

"I don't know." I said. He smiled, and pulled me against his side.

"Don't worry about it sweetheart." He said. I sighed.

"And don't ever be afraid to tell me what your feeling. I know what happened between you and Dimitri, Rosa. I'm not worried about it. I know stuff like that takes a while to get over. I'm not ever going to get upset by something like that." He said, squeezing my hand, gently.

"You know… sometimes… I think you might be perfect." I said. He chuckled.

"I'm pretty close." He said. I grinned.

"You are." I said, laying my head on his shoulder. We finished his shift, and he walked me back to my dorm. We stood at my door for a second, before he spoke.

"I'll see you at practice in the morning?" He asked. I nodded.

"You sure will." I told him. He nodded.

"Good." He said. He leaned forward, and kissed me quickly but sweetly. His kisses made my whole body turn to mush.

"Sweet dreams, Rosa." He said. I grinned.

"Night Sebastian." I said, before he turned and walked away. I watched as he disappeared and then went inside. I showered, and laid down, hoping to fall immediately asleep. I knew it wasn't going to happen. My mind was assaulted with thoughts of Dimitri, and I hated it. I wished I could get him out of my head, but it wasn't working. I closed my eyes, and slowly fell asleep, of course dreaming of him. Damn it, where was Adrian when I needed him.


	12. You said it, I get it!

I got up the next morning, with tears running down my face. When I sat up, and looked around, I noticed my pillow was soaked, and tears were dried onto my face. I shook my head, as I went into the bathroom to clean up for practice. I washed my face, scrubbing hard to get the dried tears off. I then did make-up, and threw my hair up in a pony tail. I threw on a sports bra, and hoodie with sweat pants, and headed to the gym. When I walked in, Sebastian looked up and smiled.

"Goodmorning honey." He said.

"Hey babe." I said. He raised an eyebrow.

"You don't look like you slept very well." He said. I nodded.

"I didn't." I said, rubbing my eyes. He extended his arms to me, and I walked into them.

"Dimitri stuff still bothering you?" He asked. I started to deny it, but then I remembered what he said yesterday. I just nodded. He smiled.

"Its okay." He whispered into my hair, holding me close.

"I know." I said. I looked up at him, and grinned. He leaned down, and kissed me sweetly.

"All better." I said. He chuckled.

"Glad I could be of assistance." He said, giving me that heartbreaking smile of his.

"We practicing?" I asked. He nodded. He finished unrolling the mat he was pulling out, and smiled.

"You okay to do this? You really don't look like your in any shape to fight." He said. I shrugged.

"Just go easy on me." I said, grinning.

"You know I can't do that." He said. I chuckled.

"Whatever." I said, pulling my hoodie over my head. He shook his head at me, as he tried to focus his eyes on my face. I put my hand on my hip, and smiled.

"See something you like?" I asked.

"Something? No." He said. "Everything? Hell yes." He said, walking towards me. I had already stepped onto the mat, so when he reached for me, I grabbed his arms, and moved out of the way. Then, I pushed him. He chuckled.

"That's how you wanna play? Dirty huh?" He asked. I winked.

"I'll do anything dirty if you're involved." I told him. He looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't. I then moved in on him, dodging his attacks, and dishing out my own. I could feel the fatigue catching up to me. About half way through, my legs gave out on me, and buckled, throwing me to the mat.

"Rosa?" Sebastian said, voice frantic. I sighed.

"I think I should stop now." I said, trying to catch my breath as I laid, staring at the ceiling.

"Rose… Are you okay? Seriously?" He asked. I nodded.

"I'm fine. I just… didn't sleep well last night." I said.

"How much sleep did you get?" He asked, giving me one of his serious looks.

"An hour or so." I told him. He narrowed his eyes at me.

"Come on." He said, giving me a hand.

"Where are we going?" I asked. He threw me a smirk.

"You're going to act sick, and we're going to go to the office, and get you excused from class." He said. I shook my head.

"I have to go to class." I said. He chuckled.

"You say it like you would actually stay awake in class." He said. I smiled a bit, but shook my head.

"If I don't go, I'll sit in my room all alone, and it'll just get worse." I said. He shook his head.

"You wont be alone." He said. "I don't have a shift until tonight." I grabbed his hand, and allowed him to pull me up. He wrapped a strong arm around my waist. I thought about objecting again, but a day cooped up in my room with Sebastian all day didn't sound so bad. He walked me to the office, and talked to the receptionist at the desk. She looked around him, at me sitting in the chair by the door, and nodded.

"I'll take care of it. Thank you." She told him. He nodded, and turned to me. He pulled me out of the chair, and wrapped his arm back around my waist. We escorted me to my room, and helped me to my bed.

"You don't have to stay in here with me all day." I told him. He smiled, as he kicked his shoes off, and came and sat down next to me.

"It's not hardly a job staying with you. I want too. I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want too." He said. He laid back, laying his head on my stomach. I ran my hand through his hair, and grinned.

"Thank you.." I said. He nodded.

"My pleasure." He said. I grinned. He sat up, and laid down next to me, and propped himself up on his elbow.

"You should try and get some sleep." He murmured, pressing a kiss to my cheek. I shook my head.

"I'll sleep tonight. I don't want to make you sit here and watch me sleep." I said. He grinned.

"I don't mind watching you sleep. Its quite cute." He said. I shook my head.

"I'd rather not." I told him. He rolled his eyes.

"Suite yourself." I said. He chuckled.

"How long did you and him train together?" He asked. I sighed.

"About three months." I told him. He nodded.

"Oh." He said. I nodded.

"Yepp." I told him. He frowned a little bit.

"What?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Nothing." He said. He moved closer to me, and wrapped an arm around my waist. It was quiet for a second, when he asked the next question.

"Rose, did you and him ever-" He trailed off, not wanting to finish.

"No. We didn't. I haven't ever." I said. He was quiet for a second.

"You mean you're a-"

"Virgin?" I asked. I chuckled, and nodded.

"I am." I said.

"Hmm." He said.

"Had you fooled… didn't I?" I asked. He chuckled.

"No.. It wasn't that. It was just… I was never really sure about you. After hearing about Dimitri and you, I just kind of figured." He said. I cringed at his name, but nodded. He chuckled.

"I honestly wasn't expecting that." He said.

"So.. You expected me to be a whore?" I asked, playfully. He shook his head.

"No.. God, no. I just didn't expect that." He said. I giggled, and nodded.

"I'm kidding." I told him. I smiled. I took his hand in mine, and squeezed it. I laid my head on his shoulder, and before I knew it, I was falling asleep. He pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"Sleep." He whispered.

"I don't want too." I muttered, my words slurring together. He chuckled.

"For me?" He asked. I sighed, and allowed my lids to slide shut, falling asleep.

I woke up a few hours later, to Sebastian's beautiful sleeping face. I smiled. He looked so peaceful, and so beautiful. I leaned forward, and pressed my lips gently to his, applying the slightest bit of pressure. He opened his eyes slowly, to meet mine, and smiled.

"Hey there." he said.

"Hi." I whispered. He yawned and stretched, and then leaned forward, pressing his lips back to mine. I reached up and placed my hand on the side of his face, pulling him closer, only deepening our kiss. When I pulled away, I grinned.

"Have a good nap?" He asked. I nodded.

"Did you?" I asked, chuckling.

"I didn't expect to fall asleep." He said.

"It's all those nights you stay up and think about me." I said, joking. He nodded.

"Your probably right." He said. I giggled.

"I've got to go soon. I've got a shift." He said. I nodded.

"Yeah. I know." I said.

"You going to be okay now?" He asked. I nodded.

"I should be." I said. He smiled.

"You scared me when you fell at practice." He said. I looked down.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"Its okay. Just don't do it again." He said. I nodded.

"Yes sir, Guardian Lewis." I said, knowing how he hated. He growled at me, and I smiled.

"That was hott." I said, throwing my leg over him, and straddling him. He sat up on his elbows, and looked at me.

"You know I don't like you calling me that." He said.

"Everyone else calls you that." I informed him.

"That's different." He said.

"How so?" I asked. He chuckled.

"Okay… Maybe I just like hearing you say my name. My actual name. It sounds good when you say it." He said. I giggled, and leaned down to kiss him. I cupped his face in my hands, tracing his bottom lip with my tongue. He shuddered. I smiled against his lips. When I pulled away, he pressed a kiss to my neck, and right below my ear.

"I have to go." He said. I shook my head.

"No.. You can't leave." I whispered, pressing kisses down his jaw, his neck, his collar bone.

"Rosa." He murmured.

"Don't leave me." I whispered against his skin. He growled, and rolled over, pinning me to my bed.

"You cheat. That's not fair and you know it." He said, kissing my mouth, my neck. I grinned.

"I know." I whispered, bringing his mouth to mine, kissing him sweetly. He smiled down at me.

"I'm sorry, but I do have to go." He said. I nodded. He kissed me one last time before climbing off.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning?" He asked.

"Yeah, unless you'd like to come back after your shift." I said.

"It'll be late." He said. "I'd wake you up." I got up, and grabbed my keys off the table. I threw them too him.

"Just come back." I said. He stared at me for a second.

"Are you sure? I don't want to wake you up." He said.

"I want you to come back. You don't have to wake me up, I just…I sleep better when I know your around." I told him. He grinned.

"Alright, I'll be back then." He said. He kissed me one more time, and turned to walk out. I sat there for a second after he was gone, and realized I had to keep myself busy. I did a little bit of homework I'd had left over from the other day, and then jumped into the shower. I was quick, because all of the sudden I felt tired. I wrapped a towel around myself and walked out into my room. The moment I stepped out of my bathroom, I almost screamed. Sebastian sat on my bed, waiting for me. I clutched my chest, trying to catch my breath.

"You scared the shit out of me." I said. "What are you doing here? I thought you were going to be out late."

"I was, but there was a few guardians who wanted a shift, so… I told them they could take mine." He said. I noticed his eyes wandered up and down my body, and then.. I remembered what I was wearing.

"I like that look on you." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"Well, I didn't think I would come out to find my boyfriend on my bed this early." I said. He chuckled.

"I'm glad I got here when I did." He said, letting his eyes run over my body again. I rolled my eyes again, and went to my drawer to grab a change of clothes and started towards the bathroom, but he stepped in front of me, blocking my way. He leaned down, and pressed his lips to mine. He wrapped an arm around my waist, and pulled my body against his, the only thing separating my bare body, and his was my towel.

"I need to go change." I whispered against his lips. He shook his head.

"You don't have too." He said. I nodded.

"I need too." I whispered. I knew if I didn't, something I regret might happen, because every nerve ending in my body was a livewire in this moment. He chuckled, and pressed one more extremely passionate kiss to my lips.

"Go." He said. I grinned and went into the bathroom, slipping on a pair of shorts, and tank top. I left my hair down, so it would dry. I walked back out, and over to the bed, where he was laying. He looked at me, and smiled.

"Definitely liked the other look better." He said. I smiled as I crawled into bed beside him.

"Where are my keys?" I asked.

"Table." He said, motioning his head towards the table I'd gotten them from. I smiled.

"Thanks." I said. He nodded.

"No problem, Rosa." He whispered. He turned on his side to look at me.

"How are you doing?" He asked.

"I've kept myself busy, so I've been good." I told him. He nodded.

"Good." He said. He kissed my forehead, and smiled.

"I'm glad your doing better." He said. I nodded.

"Me too. Its because of you, that I'm better." I told him. He pressed a kiss to my lips, and sighed.

"Lets get some sleep." He said, wrapping his arms around me. He acted as if there was something he wanted to tell me, but didn't. I didn't ask though. If he wanted to tell me, he would. So instead, I curled up in his arms, and closed my eyes, slowly falling into a much needed, dreamless sleep.


	13. Never Gonna Be Alone!

I woke up the next morning to Sebastian's sweet, velvet voice.

"Rosa." He murmured in my ear. I groaned.

"Sleep." I whispered, rolling the opposite way the voice was coming from. I heard his footsteps come to the other side of the bed.

"Get up. You have practice." He said.

"Yeah, but you don't have to make me go." I told him, opening my eyes to look at him. He grinned.

"We've skipped to many practices as it is." He said. I stared at him for a second, and then nodded.

"Your right." I said. I got out of bed, and stumbled into his arms. He chuckled. He pressed a kiss to my lips, and smiled. He released me, and slapped my ass.

"Hurry." He said.

"Yes, Guardian Lewis." I said.

"Alright Rosemarie." He said. I turned to glare at him. He chuckled.

"Just get your ass ready." He said. I went into the bathroom and did my normal morning routine. Once I was done, I walked out and smiled at him.

"You all ready to go sunshine?" He asked. I stuck my tongue out at him, and nodded.

"Yeah." I said, in a childish voice. He took my hand and we left, walking towards the gym. When we got there, I helped him unroll a mat.

"Now.. We aren't actually going to seriously fight today. I've learned your moves now, and I'm going to show you some ways to perfect them where your enemy will NEVER be able to see what's coming. I've noticed with you that you think really hard, and build yourself up before each attack, and its almost enough to let your enemy know what your about to do. You've got to work on that." He said. I nodded. He started with the moves Dimitri had taught me. He showed me how I did each one, and how I could do it faster, and still put as much power behind it, and not let the enemy see what's coming. Then, I practiced on him. One move, wasn't working though.

"Look, Rosa. The way you throw your hip right here to punch throws you off. It lets them know. You've got to stop doing that." He said. "Plus, your going to throw your hip out at a young age." I chuckled.

"Now. Stand straight." He said. I did as he asked. He laid his hands on my hips. The feel of his hands sort of sent my body into a bit of a frenzy. I didn't show it.

"Now, pretend there's someone in front of you. Throw one of your hardcore ass punches." He said. I did what he asked, but it was very hard without throwing my body with it. It was also very hard to focus with his hands on my body the way they were. When I finally did it, I noticed that it didn't hurt the side of my body as much. He smiled as he walked back around the front of me.

"Now, try and do it again, without me, and hit me." He said. "Or try." He gave me a smart ass look. I rolled my eyes and nodded. I faked him out with one of my other moves, and then threw the punch, connecting with his shoulder. He stumbled back.

"See… You did it. Good job." He said, rubbing his shoulder. I frowned.

"Sorry." I said. He chuckled.

"All part of the job. It'll only leave a bruise for a bit." He said, smiling. She giggled a little bit.

"Alright, now lets fight… and see if what I've showed and told you has worked." He said. I was hesitant, not wanting to leave another bruise.

"Are you sure?" I asked. He nodded.

"Go easy on me." He said. I smiled, remembering what he'd said when I'd told him that.

"You know that's not possible." I said, giving him a bit of a seductive look. He chuckled, and crouched down.

"Come on." He said. I took a few steps forward, putting myself maybe a few feet away from him. I struck out with a kick, that he didn't see coming. He blocked it at last minute, but still caught most of the blow. He chuckled..

"Alright." He said. Then, he lunged at me. I ducked under him, and threw my feet around, knocking his feet out from under him. He growled, and jumped back up.

"Playing dirty again, huh?" He asked.

"Haven't I already answered that question?" I asked, rhetorically. He lunged at me again, grabbing me. I used some of the moves he showed me to work my way out of his grasp, and pull him into my own. He fought his way out, but not before I took him to the mat. I fought with him, trying to get my hands to his chest. He fought me, but I finally saw my opening, and slammed my hands down into his chest.

"Dead." I said. He chuckled.

"Good job." He said. I smiled.

"And what do I get for my job well done?" I asked. He rolled me over, putting himself on top of me and pressed his lips to mine.

"Congrats. I feel bad for any strigoi you find in your career." He said. I giggled. I got up, and looked at the clock.

"I've got to go." I told him. He nodded. He stood up, and smiled.

"I'm proud of you. You did good today." He said. I smiled.

"Thank you." I said. I kissed him again. The praise he gave me made me feel all warm inside. I loved hearing people tell me I'd done a good job, especially in training. It made me feel accomplished. I went back to my room, dressed, and went on to class. When lunch rolled around, I went and sat down at the table, where Liss had been whispering to Christian.

"Hey guys." I said.

"Hey Rose." Liss said. I noticed from the look on her face, and from the feel of the bond, she was hiding something.

"What's up guys?" I asked, looking directly at Liss. She shook her head, and smiled.

"Nothing." She said, looking for something else to talk about.

"How's training going?" She asked.

"Good. I kicked Sebastian's ass at practice." I told her. I heard someone clear their throat and chuckle behind me. I didn't have to turn around to know it was him.

"Oh… Oops." I said, turning to look at him. He smiled. He walked over, and sat down next to me.

"What are we talking about?" He asked.

"Me whooping your ass." I said. Christian snorted.

"Hey.. I'd like to see you take her out." He said. Christian held a finger up, and a small flame flickered from it. I laughed.

"I could take you down, and break your neck before you could even think of using that on me." I told him. He grimaced. Liss and I started talking, while Sebastian and Christian went on talking about magic, and other guy stuff.

"Liss, what do you want for Christmas?" I asked. I saw her stiffen a little.

"What?" She asked. Sebastian was looking at her now.

"What do you want for Christmas? I need to start shopping soon." I said. I was caught of guard by her reaction, and even by Sebastian's. I was confused.

"I don't want anything." She said. I rolled my eyes.

"Liss, don't give me that." I said. She smiled.

"I don't." She said.

"Alright.. If I can't get you anything… You can't get me anything." I said. She frowned.

"That's not fair." She said. I shook my head.

"It is fair." I said. I noticed her eyes kept flickering to Sebastian. I was confused. I looked at the clock, and got up.

"I've got to go." I said. "I'll see you guys later." I turned and walked out with Sebastian following. When we got outside, I turned to him.

"Do you know what's wrong with Liss?" I asked, as we walked down the hall. He shook his head.

"I didn't know anything was wrong with her. You're her bond mate… You tell me." He said. I shook my head.

"I don't know." I said. "She's doing a damn good job at blocking me." He shrugged.

"I don't know honey." He said. The way he was going about it, it sounded a lot like he did know. I sighed.

"I'll see you after school, okay?" I said. He nodded. He kissed me, and disappeared back down the hall. I stood there for a second, before going into class. I was tripping over something that could be big, or something that could be nothing. The way Liss, Christian, and even Sebastian were acting… I could tell it was big. I couldn't stand not knowing.

The rest of that entire week, they all got more clipped. The only one that even came around me was Sebastian. We practiced, and after school when he wasn't working, he'd come to my room, but Liss and Christian basically disappeared except for lunch. They barely spoke, and when the did, it was about something completely off the wall, trying to avoid a certain subject I wasn't sure of. That Saturday, there was a party at one of the moroi's dorms. He invited me, and hell to the yeah I was going. I was going to go, and have a damn good time and drink my trouble's away. I got to the party around ten thirty. I hung out with a few other dhampirs, and a few moroi. After about my fifth cup of whatever it was I was drinking, I was completely wasted, and dancing around like an idiot. I swear, I danced with every person in the place, guy and girl. I finally knew that if I stayed any longer, and kept drinking, I was going to either puke, or pass out. I didn't want to do either, so I stumbled out, and down the hall. I started to go back to my dorm, but realized that wasn't where I wanted to be. I started downstairs, sneaking past the guardian on duty. I made my way to Sebastian's dorm, and gently knocked, trying not to attract any attention. He opened the door, wearing a pair of cotton sleep pants, and no shirt. I grinned.

"Hey." He said, narrowing his eyes at me, and giving me one of his looks.

"Hey honey." I said.

"Your drunk." He said, looking at me.

"I am not." I said. I felt myself wobble a little, and then I looked back at him. "Okay…Yeah, I am." I admitted. He chuckled.

"Come in." He said. I smiled, and stepped through his doorway, trying not to wobble.

"Sit down." He said. I walked over to his bed, and kicked my shoes off, sitting in the center of his bed. He chuckled.

"I'm going to get dressed, and we'll go back to your dorm." He said. I frowned.

"Why can't we stay here?" I asked, slurring my words. He smiled.

"Because… If a guardian shows up here, and finds you in here this late, you and I will both get into trouble." He said.

"Don't get dressed. Just put a shirt on." I said, my words all running together again. He chuckled.

"Alright." He said, grabbing one of his black t-shirts. He pulled it over his head.

"Come on. Lets go." He said. I smiled, and stumbled off his bed. I slipped my shoes back on, and walked tot the door. He walked me to my dorm, keeping a firm grasp on my waist, as I rambled on and on about random things. When we got to my door, I grabbed my keys and handed them too him. He opened the door, and flipped the light on. I stumbled in, and flipped my shoes off.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I turned and looked at yeah.

"Mhmm. Why?" I asked.

"How many drinks did you have?" He asked.

"A few."

"A few too many?" He asked, grinning. I shook my head.

"I had enough." I said. He smiled. I went into the bathroom and changed, before walking back out, where Sebastian was laying on my bed, no shirt on, hands behind his head. I walked out, and over to the bed, and crawled in beside him, sitting there. He grinned up at me.

"Was Liss at this party?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Liss is probably with Christian." I said, shuddering, hoping I didn't get dragged into that tonight, like I did so often.

"Oh. So… you went alone?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yeah." I said. He smiled. I leaned down, and pressed my lips to his. He kissed back… for a second. He then pulled away.

"Rose." He warned.

"What?" I whispered, pressing kisses down his neck, his collar bone.

"You should stop." He murmured.

"Why… I want you." I whispered, trying to sound seductive. He froze. He brought my mouth back to his and kissed me deeply, before pushing me away, so he could see my face.

"Not tonight." He said. I could hear the strain in his voice. Even in my drunken stupor, I could hear it over everything in his voice.

"But why?" I asked, placing my hands over his on my face.

"Because your drunk, and you could just be saying this. Rose, if we're going to do that, I want you to remember. I want it to be what you really want. Not what your saying in the heat of the moment, because your drunk." He said. I could see the struggle in his eyes.

"But.. I want you." I said again. I saw a hundred emotions flood through his eyes.

"We'll see if you feel the same way after you've sobered up." He said, voice clipped. I just stared at him.

"Do.. Do you not.. Want me?" I asked. I was being petty, but I was drunk. I couldn't help it.

"Rosa, I want you more than I've wanted anything in my entire life. But.. Not tonight. Not while your like this." He whispered. "I'm sorry. You'll understand when your sober. Just go to sleep, and we'll talk in the morning.. Okay?" I nodded.

"Okay." I whispered. He brought my mouth to his, and kissed me, and then smiled.

"Goodnight Rosa." He whispered.

"Goodnight." I slurred as I laid down on the pillow next to him. He wrapped an arm around my waist, and slowly I closed my eyes, and fell asleep. I wasn't sure what time it was when I woke up, but all I knew was I had to make it to the bathroom, and quick. I jumped up out of bed, and ran for the bathroom, throwing myself on the floor in front of the toilet just in time for everything my stomach contained to come rushing up. I was glad I'd have time to shut the door behind me. I coughed and barked into the toilet, and then heaved some more.

"Rosa?" I heard at the door.

"I'm fine." I coughed before heaving again. He opened the door, and smiled as he walked in. He grabbed my hair, and held it so I wouldn't continue to puke in it. He wet a rag, and laid in over the back of my neck, as I heaved a few more times. When I was done, I flushed and sat back against my tub, and groaned.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, looking up to meet his eyes. He smiled.

"Don't apologize." He said. He took the rag from around my neck, and wiped the thin sheen of sweat that had formed on my face off.

"Its okay. We've all been here." He said. I smiled.

"You've been drunk?" I asked. He nodded.

"I don't believe it." I told him, allowing him to move the cool rag around on my neck, cooling me down.

"I have." He said. I grinned. I was so tired, it was hard to hold my eyes open.

"I'm just going to sleep in here tonight." I whispered. He shook his head.

"No.. Do you have a cup or something?" He asked. I nodded, an pointed under the sink.

"Why?" I asked.

"Just trust me, love." He said. He pulled it out and moved me over a little.

"Lay your head back." He said. I nodded. He turned the water on in the tub, and filled the cup. He then poured it over my hair. I finally realized I'd probably thrown up in my hair. I let him rinse my hair out.

"I'm sure you'll actually wash your hair in the morning." He said. He rung my hair out, and pulled me up to sit on the toilet. He grabbed my hair brush, and brushed the knots out of it and pulled it into a pony tail at the nape of my neck. He then bent down, and scooped me up into his arms. He laid me down in my bed, and crawled in next to me. He pulled me onto his chest, and smiled. He kissed my forehead.

"Goodnight Rosa. I love you." was the last thing I heard before I fell completely into unconsciousness.


	14. Baby, You Saved Me

The next morning, I woke up feeling like complete and total shit. I didn't even want to move. I noticed when I opened my eyes to the way to bright light in my room, that my bed was empty. I slowly rolled over, and sat up to see Sebastian walk in with two cups in his hands.

"Oh.. Your up. Goodmorning." He said.

"Morning." I croaked, my voice thick with sleep. I cleared my throat, and groaned.

"Here… I figured you might need this." He said, handing me a cup of coffee. I smiled.

"Thank you." I said. I took a drink of it, and sighed. It felt good running down my sore throat.

"How bad was I last night?" I asked. I didn't really remember much. Mostly, I remember puking.

"It depends… How much do you remember?" He asked.

"Puking." I said. He chuckled.

"You weren't to bad." He said. His face told a different story.

"Your lying. What did I do?" I asked. He shook his head.

"I'm serious. It wasn't that bad." He told me again. I could tell he was lying.

"Sebastian.. Please, don't make me get out of this bed." I told him.

"Well, you kind of came onto me a little… strong." He told me. My eyes went wide.

"Shit." I said.

"I told you no. Don't worry. I wouldn't take advantage of you like that." He said. I nodded.

"I know. Its just embarrassing having to be told what I did." I said.

"Is that as bad as it got?" I asked. He nodded.

"One other thing… You may want to wash your hair this morning." He said. I reached up and touched my hair to find it wet.

"Please tell me I didn't.." I said. He chuckled.

"You did, but I rinsed your hair out before I let you come to bed. You may want to actually wash it though." He said. I took another sip of my coffee and nodded.

"I will definitely be doing that soon." I said. He walked over and sat down on the bed, in front of me.

"How you feeling?" He asked. I snorted.

"Tell me, how do I look?" I asked.

"Beautiful." He answered, simply.

"You lie. You lie so much." I said, chuckling. He smiled.

"Never. You're always beautiful." He said.

"Even when I was hurling my guts up?" I asked. He chuckled.

"Even then." He said. I shook my head.

"You're a trip. I swear." I told him. He grinned.

"I'm glad you think so. That means I'll always keep you entertained." He said. I nodded, and leaned forward, pressing my lips to his. When I pulled away, I smiled.

"Thank you for last night. I needed you." I said. He nodded.

"I know." He said. "That's why I did it." He looked down at his watch, and sighed.

"I have to go. I have a shift pretty soon." He said. I nodded.

"That's okay. I've got stuff to do anyway." I said.

"Like wash your hair?" He asked. I nodded.

"Like washing my hair ten million times." I said. He chuckled.

"That might be a good idea." He said. I smiled.

"I'm really sorry about night." I told him. He shook his head.

"Don't be." He said. "You weren't that bad. Like I said." I giggled.

"I'll see you later." He said. He picked my chin up, and pressed the sweetest of kisses to my lips. When he pulled away, he grinned

"Have a good day." I told him.

"You too." He said. He started towards the door, but then.. I remembered something he'd said last night, right before I fell asleep.

"Hey.. Sebastian?" I said. He turned.

"Yeah?" I smiled.

"I love you too." I said. He stared at me for a second, and then, I saw him realize. He smiled. I got up, and walked over to him, wrapping an arm around his neck, and kissing him. He was glowing. It was adorable.

"I'll see you later." He whispered. I nodded.

"Okay." I said, and he walked out. I stood there for a second, staring at the door, smiling to myself. I giggled a little and then went to get a much needed shower. I kid you not, I washed my hair at least three or four times. When I got done, I got dressed, and started on homework that was due Monday. As I sat there, I decided that I was tired of sitting here. I decided I hadn't seen Adrian in awhile. I got a pair of shoes, and walked across campus, to guest dorms, and knocked. He opened his door, and gave me a weird look.

"Little Dhampir, what brings you here?" He asked.

"I came to see you. I haven't seen you in awhile." I told him. He smiled.

"I'm sorry. I've been back and forth to court for Christmas and stuff coming up." He said.

"I still don't know what Liss and us are doing for Christmas." I said. He just nodded.

"How have you been?" He asked.

"Good." I told him. "I got a little bit too drunk last night. Threw up in my hair, the usual." He laughed.

"Who took care of you this time?" He asked.

"Sebastian. I stumbled my way to his room, when I left the party." I told him. He nodded.

"Nice." He said. I nodded.

"How are you, Adrian?" I asked.

"I'm really good, actually." He said.

"Really?" I asked. He nodded.

"That's good." I said. He nodded.

"How are you and your new boyfriend?" He asked.

"We're good. Great.. Actually." I said. He nodded.

"That's good. I'm happy for you." He said.

"You don't come around much anymore. How come?" I asked.

"I've been busy, and usually your busy or not in your room."

"Adrian." I said. "I miss hanging out with you. You don't even dream walk on me anymore, to ask how I'm doing."

"Rose, I'm sorry. Your right. I haven't been. I don't know. I just figured you didn't want to be bothered now that you have Sebastian."

"Adrian… Just because he's in my life now, doesn't mean I want to cut you out. Your still my friend, regardless of who I'm with." I told him. He nodded.

"Your right. I'm sorry." He said. I smiled.

"That's why I came to you." I said. He sat and talked, and hung out for awhile, before I got tired. I hugged him, and said my good-byes and went back to my room. I sat around, waiting for Sebastian to show up. He finally knocked and I let him in. He smiled.

"Hey." He said. I grinned.

"Hey there. How was your day?" I asked.

"It was good. How was your?" He asked.

"Good."

"Did you wash your hair?" He asked, chuckling.

"Like four times." I said, laughing. He smiled. He walked over to my bed, and sat down with me, taking my hand.

"What'd you do today?" He asked.

"I showered a few times, did some homework, and went to visit Adrian." I told him. He nodded. He didn't look so happy about the last part, but he didn't say anything.

"Have you noticed how weird Liss has been being lately? Like…She barely talks to me, and is so clipped, and watches her words." I asked. He shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe something's wrong with her, or something. Have you tried talking to her?" He asked.

"I'm not around her long enough to." I told him. He shrugged.

"I don't know. I'll try and find out for you." He said. Somehow, I had this strong feeling he already knew. I didn't ask though. I laid my head over on his shoulder.

"Thanks." I said. We laid there, talking for a little bit, before he sat up.

"I've got to go. I have a meeting tonight with the guardians." He said. I nodded.

"Are you coming back?" I asked. He smiled.

"I'll try. I don't know how long I'll be, and I have some stuff to do back at my room. If not, I'll just see you in the morning." He said. I nodded.

"That's fine." I said. He smiled. He leaned over, and lifted my chin, kissing me.

"Love you, Rosa." He murmured. I smiled.

"I love you too, Sebastian." I said. He kissed me again, and got up. He put his shoes back on and walked out the door. I sat there for a second, staring after him, but didn't bother worrying about why he wasn't probably coming back tonight. I just snuggled up in my bed, and closed my eyes, slipping into a dreamless sleep.

I woke up the next morning to my alarm clock. I groaned. I looked around to see Sebastian hadn't came back. I sighed, and rolled out of my bed. I got dressed, did my hair and make-up, and headed out to the gym. When I got there, there wasn't a mat, no stake dummies, nothing. Just Sebastian sitting in the middle of the gym. This didn't look so good. I slowly walked over to him, and stared down at him. He smiled up at me, but it wasn't a happy smile.

"Goodmorning love." He said.

"Goodmorning. What are you doing?" I asked.

"Waiting on you to get here." He said. I just looked down at him.

"Alright.. I'm not playing these guessing games anymore. What's going on, Sebastian." I said. He looked up at me, and then down at his hands.

"Rose, I talked to Lissa, and we need to talk." He said. _Oh Shit! _Were the only two coherent words my mind could form. This couldn't be good.


	15. A Little Bit Stronger!

I just stared down at him. My entire body had completely locked up.

"Sit down, Rose." He said. I shook my head.

"I'm good where I am, thanks." I said. "Now, what's going on?" He sighed, and stood up.

"Alright… So, the holidays are coming up, correct?" He asked.

"Sebastian, stop with the shit. Please, just tell me what's going on!" I snapped. I felt bad for snapping at him, but.. I couldn't help it.

"Christian and Liss are going to Tasha's to spend the holidays, and we've been the appointed guardians to accompany them." He said. I just stared at him. He had to be kidding. He couldn't be serious. Liss wouldn't do that to me. She wouldn't make me go knowing how I felt, knowing what happened.

"No.. I can't." I said, shaking my head.

"Rose, I'm going to be with you, it'll be fine." He said, stepping forward.

"How long have you known?" I asked him. He looked down, and back at me.

"A few days now." He said.

"And your just now telling me?" I snapped. He shook his head.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to upset you."

"So, you lied to me?" I asked.

"I didn't lie to you." He said.

"Liss wouldn't do this to me. She wouldn't make me go." I said. He nodded.

"She asked if you and I could be the one's to accompany her." He told me. I shook my head.

"NO." I said. I turned away from him, and started running. She was going to have someone else go with her. I could hear Sebastian behind me.

"Rosa, please wait." He begged. I kept running, straight upstairs to her dorm. I threw her dorm open to her sitting on her bed.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" I snapped.

"What?" Liss asked.

"Asking me to go to Tasha's when you know I can't do that." I said.

"Rose, we always spend the holidays together." She said.

"NO. We spent the holidays together before all this shit broke loose. You can't make me go." I yelled.

"But Rose, you're my guardian." She said.

"Find someone else." I yelled.

"I want you to come with me. It will be fun. You have Sebastian now. Dimitri shouldn't matter anymore."

"If I go, I will end up killing both of them. Is that what you want? Me to become a murderer?" I asked.

"Rose, you wouldn't do that. You'd be fine. I promise. Rose, please." She asked.

"I'm not going to that bitches house." I snapped. "Fuck that."

"Rose, please." She said. I shook my head.

"I can't, and you know that. You know I'm not strong enough for that." I told her. Tears were starting to leak down my face.

"Rose, you can. You have me, and Sebastian, and Christian." She said. Sebastian took my hand in his, and intertwined our fingers.

"Please, Liss… Please, don't make me do this." I begged.

"Rose… I want you to come with me. We always spend Christmas together. You know that." She said.

"Not there… Please, not there." I begged.

"Rose, Tasha was the one that suggested I bring you. She said she misses you." Liss informed me.

"So now what? The bitch big on bragging?" I asked.

"Rose, its not like that." Liss said.

"Oh yeah? Why didn't you go with Christian on Thanksgiving?" I asked. She looked down.

"I wasn't ready to see Dimitri yet. I was scared I'd yell at him."

"What made you change your mind now?" I asked.

"Christian asked me to come with him, and Tasha called and talked to me. Rose, please." She begged. I shook my head.

"I can't fucking do this." I said. I tore my hand from Sebastian's and ran back to my dorm, leaving both of them standing there. I ran to my dorm, and inside, slamming and locking my door behind me. I couldn't do it. I couldn't go there. The wound was still fresh. Regardless of Sebastian, or Liss, or anyone, I couldn't see him there with her. I was stronger, yes. Sebastian and my relationship was definitely helping me get better, but… seeing that now.. I couldn't take it. That would just be pouring salt into an open wound. I couldn't deal with that yet. I was strong. I knew that. I could kill a strigoi, I could run for miles on end, I could lift a lot of weight, but emotionally, I wasn't strong. I wasn't strong at all after he left me. I couldn't take that. Not yet. I wasn't in any shape to see the man I loved with someone else. I loved Sebastian yes, but… not the way I loved Dimitri. Not yet. Our love hadn't reached that level yet. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. I went into my bathroom, and sat down, sobbing into my knee's. I wasn't sure how long I'd been there, but I was pretty sure classes were already in session. I just sat there, crying. I was so weak. I swear, I hated myself for reacting this way. After awhile, I heard my door open. I could had sworn I locked it. I looked up into the door way to see Sebastian's face.

"Rosa-" He started.

"Sebastian, don't." I said. He walked over, and sat down next to me.

"If I talk, are you going to run again, or actually listen?" He asked. I sighed.

"I'll listen." I whispered.

"Do you remember what I said about Dimitri when you first told me what happened between you two?" He asked. I shook my head.

"I told you that if he was dumb enough to walk away, you should be smart enough to let him go. Remember?" He asked. I nodded.

"Rose, your smart. I know you are. Are you really going to be dumb enough to hang onto him after the hurt, and pain he caused you?" He asked. _Ouch, a punch to the gut. _

"You don't understand. I thought he-" He cut me off.

"I know what you thought. I know what he made you believe, but in the end… He hurt you. He left you, and here you are. Don't you want to prove to him that you can live your life just fine without him?" He asked.

"I told him before he left, that I'd have a damn good life without him, and I'd be the best damn guardian there is, and a whole bunch of other stuff." I said.

"I bet you he didn't believe you, and Rose, you can show him. Show him what he gave up, what he walked away from. Your magnificent, and amazing, and you know that. Show him how strong you really are." He said.

"But I'm not. I can't… I can't do it."

"You can, and you know it. Rosa, you have me, and no matter what… I'm always going to be here. I'll be there with you. I'll help you." He said. I just shook my head, and looked away from him. He reached around and pulled my face to look at him.

"Who are you?" He asked.

"Rose Hathaway." I answered, confused, wiping tears.

"How many strigoi have you killed?" He asked.

"Two." I said.

"Who's your mother?"

"Janine Hathaway." I answered.

"And who's your charge?"

"Princess Vasilisa Dragomir." She said.

"Now… You tell me all these things, and you tell me your not strong enough to face Dimitri Belikov? You are THE Rose Hathaway. You have two Molnija marks, and you aren't even promised yet. You are the Princess's guardian, and you have a mother who is one of the most recognized guardians. You look me in the eye and tell me your not strong enough for this." He said. I just stared at him. He was right. God, he was so right.

"Your right." I whispered. He smiled.

"Your damn right, I'm right." He said. I grinned a little.

"You can do this. Liss is your charge. Its your responsibility to protect her, and you can't if you don't go. I can't do this alone, and I don't want to go without you. I'm scared if I go by myself I might be the one to hurt him." He said. I smiled.

"I'll go." I whispered. He smiled. He stood, and pulled me up to my feet. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and held me. He pulled away, and brought my mouth to his.

"That's my girl." He said, when he separated our mouths. I smiled.

"Thank you." I whispered. He nodded.

"Rosa, no matter what happens… I'm always going to be here for you. No matter what." He whispered. I looked up and met his eyes, and forced as much passion into the look as I could.

"I love you Sebastian." I whispered. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I love you too Rosa." He said, before pressing his lips back to mine. I smiled.

"I'm going to fix this. I have to find Lissa." I said, walking out of the bathroom. He took my hand and smiled.

"We'll fix this." He said, and off we went to find Liss.


	16. Lets Make Love!

Sebastian and I walked out, and towards the lunch room. It was lunch time now, so I knew I'd be able to find her. When I walked in, she had her head down on the table, and Christian holding her, rubbing her back. I suddenly felt horrible for the way I'd acted towards her. I walked up to the table, with Sebastian following close behind me, and stopped.

"Uhm.. Liss?" I asked. She looked up at me, meeting my eyes.

"Rose?" She whispered.

"Can I talk to you… alone for a second?" I asked. She looked at Christian and nodded. I turned to Sebastian.

"Just stay here. I'll be back." I told him. He nodded.

"Okay." He said. I took Lissa's hand as we walked outside. I turned to her, and met her sad green eyes.

"Lissa, I'm so sorry." I whispered. She shook her head.

"Don't apologize. It was my fault. I knew you wouldn't go. It was stupid of me to think that. I knew how you felt about the situation, and I just threw it on you. I was stupid, and you don't have to go. I'm so sorry." She said. I smiled.

"You don't have to apologize Liss. I'm going with you." I said, wiping a tear. She shook her head.

"You don't have to do that for me." She said.

"I'm not just doing it for you. I'm doing it for me. You were right. I have Sebastian now. I don't need Dimitri. I'm going to show him what he gave up. I'm not going to sit around and mope anymore. What's done is done, this is my life and I'm living it, without the chains of Dimitri Belikov anymore. I can do this." I said. She smiled a little.

"Your serious?" She asked.

"Dead serious. And if it wasn't for you, I would have never realized all of this… so thank you." I said. "And I'm not mad. It just caught me off guard is all." She wrapped her arms around me, and held me.

"I love you Rose! I'm so glad you're my guardian." She said.

"I love you too Liss, and I'm glad I'm your guardian too." She giggled. We went back into the cafeteria all smiles. I sat down next to Sebastian and Liss sat down next to Christian. Neither of us said anything, we just sat down and looked at each other. Sebastian gave me a strange look.

"Everything okay ladies?" He asked.

"Fine." I said. Liss nodded.

"Everything fine." She said. I grinned.

"I'm going to run back to my dorm and grab my stuff, so I can at least go to a few classes." I said. They nodded. I got up, with Sebastian following me. Once we were out of the lunchroom, he took my hand.

"What happened out there?" He asked. I grinned.

"We just talked, and I told her that I was going." I said. He smiled.

"And what'd she say?" He asked.

"She was just happy I wasn't mad at her. She told me I didn't have to go… but I want too. I'm going to have to face the guy sooner or later. Might as well do it now." I said. He nodded.

"I'll be there, every step of the way. You know that, and you know you don't have to be afraid to talk to me." He said. I smiled, and nodded.

"I know that, and thank you for that." I said. He grinned.

"Anytime, love."

"When are we leaving anyway?" I asked.

"Friday." He said.

"That soon huh?" I asked, nervously. He smiled.

"Yes, that soon. Christmas isn't that far away, and none of us have actually Christmas shopped." He said. I nodded.

"True. I still don't know what I'm getting you." I said.

"I already know what I'm getting you." He said. I narrowed my eyes.

"It better not be much. If its expensive, I don't want it." I said.

"I'll be sure to remove the price tags." He said. I growled at him, but he just chuckled. We got back to my room, and I grabbed my things.

"I'll see you at practice." I told him, before we walked out my dorm door. He nodded. I reached up on my tip toes, and kissed him.

"I love you." He said.

"I love you too." I said, before dashing out of the door, so I could get to class semi-on time. I sat through three classes before the day was over. It was really pointless to go to class after I'd missed half the day, but there would have been nothing better to do. Plus, I hated missing Biology class. It was my favorite class, so I figured what the hell. After the final bell rang, I headed off to the gym for practice. Sebastian was unrolling a mat when I walked in. I ran over, and jumped onto his back. He caught me, thank God. It would have hurt if I'd hit the ground.

"Well, hello there." He said. I smiled.

"Hey." I said.

"How was your… half day at school." He asked.

"It was good. How was the rest of your day." I asked.

"It was good. Even better now." He said, pulling me off his back and around to stand in front of him. He brought my mouth to mine, and kissed me. I reached up, and wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing our bodies closer.

"We're supposed to be practicing." He said. I pulled away, and smiled.

"Okay. So, how many times to I get to whip your ass today?" I asked.

"Zero?" He asked. I giggled.

"I doubt it." I said. He smiled. I stripped the hoodie, and rolled up my sweat pants.

"Lets do this." I said.

"Well, if you want to play like this, so can I." He said. He pulled his shirt over his head, and tossed it to the ground.

"Not fair." I said. He smiled.

"I think its very fair." He said. I rolled my eyes. "Whatever." I said, stepping onto the mat. He stepped onto the mat too, and we circled. I struck out first with a speed he wasn't ready for. He caught most of the blow, but blocked some too. He grabbed me, and tried to take me down, going for a quick win, but that wasn't happening. I spun my way out of his hold, and threw a punch, catching him in the shoulder. He grimaced. It was then I noticed the bruise I'd left from the other day.

"Sorry." I said. He smiled.

"No pain, no gain." He said, lunging at me. I dodged his attack completely. He smiled. His back was to me for a split second, and I realized this was my opening. I jumped onto his back, and placed my hands over his heart.

"I win." I said. I jumped off his back and smiled.

"How in the hell do you come up with this stuff?" He asked.

"I don't know but I thought it was a pretty good move if I do say so myself." I said. He smiled.

"I kind of want to see you jump on a strigoi's back." He said. I laughed.

"It'd be kind of funny to watch." I said. He nodded. We went through a few more drills before we both finally got tired. The last round we went, he took me down.

"Dammit." I muttered. He chuckled, staring down into my eyes. I was lost in a sea of blue as I gazed up at him. He leaned down, and pressed his lips to mine. Automatically, I lifted my arms, and wrapped them around his neck, knotting my fingers into his soft hair. He moved his lips down my jaw, my throat.

"We should go back to my dorm." I suggested. He pulled away from me, and nodded, grinning. He pulled me up to my feet, and took my hand, walking out of the gym and to my dorm. I unlocked my door, and he pushed me inside, pulling my mouth back to his, kicking the door shut behind him. He reached up and locked it, pushing me backwards towards my bed. As I fell backwards onto it, I giggled against his lips. He smiled. I pushed myself up on the bed, as he crawled in with me, never separating our lips. I wasn't sure what came over me, but I felt too far away, like I couldn't get close to him fast enough. I ran my hands underneath of his shirt, pulling it up, and over his head. He made an agitated noise at the separation of our lips. I giggled and brought his mouth back to mine. He smiled against my lips. He ran his hand underneath my shirt, and pulled me to sit up so he could pull it off over my head. He tossed it off the side of the bed, bringing his mouth back to mine. He moved his lips down my jaw, my throat, and the newly exposed skin at my chest. I wanted him, all of him. I brought his mouth back to mine, hoping he'd soon catch on to my mood. Or maybe hoping he was already there, and waiting on my go. I knew he was too much of a gentlemen to actually push me somewhere I didn't want to go. After a few more minutes of passionate kissing, he ran his hands up my back, slipping a finger underneath my bra strap. He pulled away, and met my eyes, as if asking permission. I smiled, and nodded once. He flicked the hook, and I felt the fabric loosen from around me. He hesitantly pulled it from around me, and tossed it to the floor. I figured that being this way in front of him would make me nervous… but I wasn't. I actually felt extremely comfortable. He cupped one of my breasts in his hand, and kissed me more deeply.

"Rosa?" He murmured against the skin of my neck. His voice was husky, and sounded so sexy.

"Yes?" I asked, sounding a bit breathless.

"We need to stop… unless…" He started, staring down into my eyes now.

"I want you." I whispered. He just stared at me as if he didn't believe me.

"Your serious?" He asked.

"One hundred percent." I whispered, pressing a kiss just below his ear. He shuddered. I ran my hand down his chest to the snap of his pants, and undid them. He stared at me, as if he was waiting on me to say just kidding.

"Rosa, are you-" I cut him off by bringing his mouth back to mine.

"I want you. Period. End of story." I whispered. I brought his mouth back to mine, preventing him from saying anything else. I then started maneuvering his pants down his legs. With a little help from him, he kicked them to the floor, leaving him in nothing but black boxers. I smiled. He was so beautiful. I really wanted him, and in this moment, that was all I could think about. He filled my vision, and nothing else. Nothing would stop me from getting what I wanted. Not now. I'd gone to far. He was probably thinking the same thing, as he ran a hand down my stomach, to the string on my sweatpants. With a little help from me, he maneuvered them down my legs and tossed them to the floor. There was only a small amount of clothing left, and I knew it wouldn't last much longer. He slid a finger into the waistband of my lace panties and slowly maneuvered those down my legs as well, throwing them off the side of the bed. I helped him out of his boxers, and that was it. The last piece of cloth stopping me from getting what I wanted. He removed his lips from mine, to stare down at me. He was testing me. I could see it.

"Your sure I'm who.. This will be your first time, and I don't-" I cut him off by placing my hand over his mouth.

"I want you, Sebastian. Period. I wouldn't have let us get this far if I didn't. And plus, could you really stop now anyway?" I asked, from the looks of him… he was just as ready as I was.

"I could. I mean.. I don't want too, but if you weren't sure. If you weren't ready, I'd do it for you." I smiled up at him. This man really was perfect.

"And that is why I want you. You would never force me into this. Right now, you're all I want." I whispered. He nodded. I braced myself, as he slowly lowered himself into me. The pain was automatic, but the pleasure completely overrode it and made it easy to ignore. I moaned his name. He pulled out, and thrust into me again, except this time he went deeper. I gasped. His eyes were frantic on my face. He was being as gentle as possible. I could see it.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Don't… Don't stop… Please." I whispered. He nodded, and started again, with each thrust he quickened his pace. The pain soon subsided, and I couldn't feel anything anymore except the overwhelming pleasure I felt. I had a few more of those feelings, like I couldn't get close enough fast enough, and I buck my hips upward. Every time I did it, my name escaped his lips. It was a beautiful sound. The faster his pace became, the quicker I felt my release coming. I could tell he was close too. I bucked my hips up at him, one last time, and my entire body quaked beneath him. I moaned his name loud. He then thrust into me again, and his entire body convulsed above me, slamming his body against mine. He stayed that way for just a moment, before pulling himself out of me, and rolling onto his side next to me. He pulled my head onto his chest and pulled the blankets over us. We were both breathing ragged, trying to catch our breaths. There was a comfortable silence in the room, until he finally broke it.

"Rosa?" He whispered.

"Hmm?" I said.

"I love you." He whispered. I smiled.

"I love you too." I said.

"Are you okay?" He asked. "I didn't hurt you did I? I tried to be as gentle as possible." I giggled, and turned onto my stomach to look at him.

"I've never experienced anything more amazing in my life, and no, you didn't hurt me." I said. He grinned.

"Good." He said. "I'm glad you feel that way. I'm glad I wasn't the only one." I reached up, and pressed my lips to his. I curled up against his chest, and slowly fell into the most blissful, and amazing sleep I'd ever had.


	17. Not Afraid!

I woke up the next morning, with Sebastian nuzzling his face into my hair. I giggled.

"Well, Goodmorning." I whispered.

"Morning sunshine." He said. He pressed a kiss to my neck, and I shuddered.

"How are you this morning?" He asked.

"Amazing." I said. He smiled.

"Me too." He whispered. He sat up, and stretched.

"I have to go soon. I have a shift." He said. I nodded.

"I have school in like two hours." I said. This would be the normal time I'd wake up for practice. He nodded. He stood up, and gathered his clothes from around the room. I laughed as I watched.

"You can't throw everything in the same place, can you?" He said, mock fury in his voice.

"I'm sorry." I said, looking down at my hands. He chuckled, as he pulled his boxers and pants back on. I grinned. He leaned over the bed, and kissed my lips.

"I'm just kidding. I don't mind. You can throw my clothes where ever you want." He said. I giggled. I sat up, and groaned. He turned to look at me.

"What?" He asked.

"I hurt." I said. He gave me an apologetic smile.

"Sorry." He said. I grinned.

"It's a good pain, I promise. Don't worry about it." I said. He picked my clothes up off the ground and set them in a pile on the bed.

"See, yours were neat. I put them all in the same spot." He said. I laughed.

"Well, excuseee me." I said, laughing. He chuckled, and crawled into the bed, bringing my mouth to his.

"I've got to go. You better get ready for school." He said. I nodded.

"I'm working on it." I said, bringing his mouth back to mine. He smiled against my lips. When he finally forced his mouth away from mine, he chuckled.

"I'll see you later." He said. I nodded.

"Okay." I said.

"I love you." He said. The words dripped passion. I grinned.

"I love you too." I said. He smoothed out his wrinkled shirt, and disappeared out the door. I chuckled. I rolled out of bed, and painfully. My entire body ached with the bliss of lasts nights events. It wasn't until right now, that the realization hit me. I'd lost my virginity. I walked around my room, smiling like a fool. I got a quick shower, did my hair, and make-up, and headed out, heading towards Stan's class. Liss saw me, and came up.

"Goodmorning." She said. I beamed at her.

"Morning." I said. She raised an eyebrow.

"Your in a good mood." She said. I nodded.

"Why?" She asked.

"What? I can't be in a good mood without a reason?" I asked. She shook her head. I rolled my eyes at her. She stared at me for a second, and then… the realization hit her.

"Oh my God, did you guys-" I cut her off, by putting a hand over her mouth.

"God, Liss. Tell the whole school why don't ya." I said. She grinned.

"That's awesome. I can't believe you finally lost it. How was it?" She asked. I smiled, and looked away.

"There aren't really words." I told her. "It was amazing. Everything I thought it would be."

"That's awesome. Do you hurt?" She asked. I shook my head.

"Not so much. Not anymore. He was really gentle with me. He knew he was my first." I said. She giggled the most girly giggle I'd ever heard.

"That's awesome. I'm so happy for you guys." She said. I smiled.

"Thanks." I said. We separated, and both went to class. I couldn't seem to get Sebastian off my mind. All day, all I could think about was last night. I missed him, and it had only been a few hours. When it was lunch time, I started for the cafeteria. I walked in to see Liss, and Christian sitting at our table. I sat down, and smiled.

"Hey guys." I said. They both smiled. Christian had this smug look on his face.

"You told him… didn't you?" I asked.

"Sorry, Rose. I couldn't keep it to myself." She said.

"God Liss, your horrible." I muttered. Christian chuckled.

"Don't worry. I'd like to not be neutered, so I'm keeping my mouth shut. I promise." He said. I smiled.

"Good." I said. Sebastian walked in, and his eyes fell on our table. He was glowing. Liss saw the same thing, because she giggled. He met my eyes, and smiled, looking down at his feet. He walked over, and sat down next to me.

"Hey guys." He said. They all greeted him a little to friendly, giving us away.

"They know?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Sorry." I said. He smiled.

"No big deal." He said. I smiled, and laid my head on his shoulder.

"So, is everyone excited for the trip tomorrow?" He asked. I'd completely forgotten Friday was tomorrow.

"Shit." I muttered. Liss gave me a look.

"Oh.. Sorry." I said. She smiled.

"Yeah. I'm ready." Christian said.

"Me too." Liss seconded.

"I'm ready." Sebastian said. He then looked at me.

"I can't wait." I said, forcing as much enthusiasm behind the words as possible. Sebastian saw through me, and I knew it. Whether Liss and Christian did or not was a different story. They both just smiled at me, so I was hoping they bought it. I finally got up, and said good-bye before walking out with Sebastian following me. He walked me to class just like he always did.

"Your sure you want to go tomorrow? Rosa, she gave you the option not too." He said. I smiled.

"I have to go. Its my job." I said.

"No. You don't have to go. I can go, and find another guardian to go with me. She'll be safe." He said. I smiled.

"I'm going. I don't think I feel safe having you aren't Dimitri by yourself anyway." I told him. He chuckled.

"Such a smart girl." He said. I smiled.

"I'll see you at practice." I said, reaching the classroom door. He kissed me gently, and turned to walk away. I walked inside, and sat down in my desk, waiting on class to start. The last three classes passed, and I headed off to the gym. I was still having a hard time digesting that I was going to be in the same house as Dimitri tomorrow. Blissful images from last night floated back into my mind, but nothing could block out the fear I had about tomorrow. When I walked in, Sebastian smiled but then gave me a look.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I smiled, hoping I'd convinced him.

"I'm fine." I assured him.

"Nervous about tomorrow?" He asked. I chuckled.

"You know me way to well. It kind of scares me." I said. He grinned.

"It happens." He said. I kissed him, and threw my bag on the ground.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. I attempted to raise an eyebrow.

"Still sore?" He asked. I felt my face get hot.

"Ehh, a little." I said. "No pain I can't handle." He chuckled.

"You sure you want to practice. We can skip today if you'd like. I have something I have to give you anyway." He said. I just stared at him. What could he possibly have to give me?

"What is it?" I asked.

"Its back in my room." He said.

"Tell me what it is first." I said. He chuckled.

"Will you just come with me, and find out?" He asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine." I snapped. He chuckled. He took my hand and led me to his dorm. When we got there, he took me inside, and shut the door behind him.

"You can sit if you'd like." He said, as he went into his closet. I nodded, and sat down in a chair by the window. He eventually emerged with a long red box. He handed it to me.

"Its until I can get something nicer. It's one of my old ones." He said. I opened the box, and inside of it was a silver stake. It was shiny, and beautiful, and looked like it had just recently been sharpened.

"Obviously, if your going to be guarding this next week or so, you'll need one." He said. I grinned.

"I can keep it?" I asked. He nodded.

"Its yours." He said.

"I love it." I said. He laughed.

"Its old. I've killed a few with it." He said.

"Maybe it will bring me good luck." I said.

"I hope so. Really, I'm just hoping it keeps you and Liss safe." He said. I smiled.

"Thank you." I said. He nodded.

"No problem." He said. I stood up, and kissed him gently.

"I would ask if you were staying with me tonight, but obviously you need to pack." I said. He chuckled.

"That's true." He said. I grinned. I reached up, and wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my lips to his.

"I'll miss you." I whispered, when I pulled away.

"I'll miss you too.." He said, trying to catch his breath. "Trust me." I grinned.

"I'll see you in the morning." I said. He nodded.

"I love you." He said.

"I love you too." I said. I turned my back, and walked out. I felt his eyes on my back as I walked away. I felt like I was losing part of myself as I left him, even though it would only be for a few hours. I went back to my room, and packed. I laid out my guardian uniform, which I would be wearing tomorrow. I packed everything else I would need, and sat my bags by my door. I laid down in bed, but couldn't seem to fall asleep. My mind was a million years away, and was on so many different things at once. Sebastian and my night last night, my brand new stake, me seeing Dimitri in the next twenty four hours. I couldn't seem to sleep. Finally, I got fed up with trying. I grabbed my clothes that I planned on wearing in the morning, and snuck out of my room. I snuck across campus, to the guardian dorms. I quietly knocked on his door, and waited. He opened it, looking about the same way I did. He pulled me inside, and shut the door quietly behind him.

"Can't sleep?" He asked. I shook my head, and laid my clothes on the chair.

"Me either." I said.

"So… I thought-" He cut me off.

"You'd sleep here?" He asked. I nodded. He smiled, and tugged me into his bed, pulling the blankets around us. I sight in contentment.

"Thank you for letting me stay here tonight." I said.

"No problem." He whispered into my hair. I rolled to look at him. He pressed the sweetest of kisses to my lips and smiled.

"Sweet dreams." He whispered.

"They will be with you." I said. I then closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. Although, a few minutes later, Adrian showed up.

"Little Dhampir. Ready for our trip tomorrow?" He asked.

"What? Your going?" I asked. He nodded.

"Think you could leave me? Huh?" He asked. I shook my head.

"No. I just figured you'd spend the holidays with your family." I told him.

"I spent Thanksgiving with them. That's all they get. I want to spend Christmas with my best friends." He said.

"That's sweet." I told him. He grinned.

"Thanks." He said. I smiled.

"Are you ready for this, Rose?" He asked. I nodded.

"I have Sebastian. I have you. I have Liss. I'll be fine." I said.

"Your not going to murder anyone, are you?" He asked. I giggled.

"No. I'll behave." I told him. He nodded.

"Good." He said. "I don't want to have to bail you out of jail." I rolled my eyes.

"I'm tired. Can I sleep please?" I asked.

"You are asleep, Little Dhampir." He said.

"Adrian." I warned. He smiled.

"Fine. I'll see you in the morning." He said, before the dream world disappeared around us, and I was back in Sebastian's bed, wrapped up in his arms. I closed my eyes, and slowly fell into a dreamless sleep. Tomorrow, the man I once loved and the man I currently loved would all be in the same house. Along with me. Tomorrow would be interesting. _Shit! _


	18. She's Bulletproof!

They next morning, I woke up, wrapped in Sebastian's arms. All I could hear was his alarm blaring next to my head. I lifted my hands to my ears, and moaned.

"Make it stop." I said. He chuckled, and slapped the alarm clock.

"Goodmorning." He said.

"Morning." I whispered. I rolled over to meet his eyes. He pressed a sweet kiss to my lips.

"You ready for today?" He asked.

"As ready as it gets." I told him. He smiled.

"We better get up, and get ready." He said. I groaned, and nodded. We both rolled out of bed. He changed in his room, while I changed in his bathroom. I dug through his cabinets until I found a hairbrush, and brushed my hair, pulling it up into a neat pony tail. I'd hid my make-up in the pockets of my slacks, so I put on some eyeliner and mascara, and took one last look in the mirror. I looked so professional. I looked like a real guardian. I opened the door, and stepped out, throwing my clothes on the chair. He turned around and looked at me, and then kind of gawked.

"See something you like?" I teased, just like we always did. I pirouetted around once, and grinned.

"You look… amazing." He said. I smiled.

"Thanks. You do too." I said, walking over to him. I straightened his jacket, and grinned.

"I love a man in uniform." I murmured, a seductive hint to my voice. He grinned.

"I love my woman in uniform." He said, kissing me.

"I have to go get my bags." I said. He nodded.

"I'll help you." He said. He took my hand and we walked out and to my dorm. He grabbed a few bags, while I grabbed what was left, and carried it out to the van we'd be taking. Adrian walked up and grinned. Liss and Christian hadn't arrived yet.

"Goodmorning." He said. I smiled.

"Hey Adrian." I said. He chuckled.

"Ready for our trip, Sebastian?" He asked. He gave Adrian one of his looks.

"Your coming with us?" He asked. Adrian nodded.

"Oh… Well, yeah.. I'm ready." He said. I chuckled. He went back to his room, and brought his bags to the van. Liss and Christian then showed up with all there things. While they all loaded the rest of the stuff into the van, I saw Alberta walk out of the office, and look my direction. I walked towards her, smiling. Obviously something she wasn't expecting.

"Hey Rose. How are you?" She asked.

"I'm good. What about you?" I asked.

"I'm good." She assured me.

"You ready for your trip?" I chuckled.

"I'm as ready as it gets." I said. She chuckled.

"Be safe, and behave. This is your first guardian assignment. I know you'll do a good job." She said. I nodded.

"I will. I'll see you in a week or so." I said. She nodded.

"Have fun." She told me. I giggled.

"I'll try." I said, before walking back towards the van. Sebastian smiled.

"You ready?" He asked.

"Ready. Is everyone else ready?" I asked. They all nodded.

"Shot-gun." I called. Adrian cussed under his breath. Sebastian climbed into the drivers-seat, and I climbed in beside him. They all climbed into the other seats, and settled in.

"So, Rose… are you excited?" Christian asked. I chuckled humorlessly.

"So excited. I'm just happy to be getting out of the academy for awhile." I said. He chuckled.

"Yeah. I understand." He said. We all chatted as we drove to the airport, and headed off for court, where we would then be driving to Christian's aunt's house, not much farther away. We all boarded the plane, and got comfortable. I cuddled up to Sebastian in our seats.

"How you doing?" He asked. I smiled.

"Surprisingly, I'm good. Not so worried about it anymore." I said, meeting his eyes. He smiled.

"Good." He said, leaning down to kiss me.

"Get a room." Adrian muttered, as he walked past us to sit in his seat.

"Your just jealous, Ivashkov!" I said. He laughed.

"Duh!" He said. I shook my head. I turned my head back to Sebastian, and smiled.

"Now… Where were we?" I asked, pulling his mouth back to mine. When I pulled away, I smiled.

"And that right there, is why I'm not nervous." I said. He smiled.

"I love you." He whispered into my hair. I chuckled.

"I love you too." I said. The rest of the plane ride was pretty quiet. At least, until we landed. My hands started to shake a little, and I was all of the sudden nervous. We still had about a thirty minute drive ahead of us, and I was still nervous. They had the van out on the court runway, so we loaded up, and got into the van. Christian gave Sebastian directions. We were there within twenty-five minutes. We pulled up to a big two story house. It was way to big for just the two of them. I looked down. It was probably for the family they both planned to have. They all jumped out of the van, following Christian to the door. I got out slowly, making my way around the front of the van. Sebastian came and took my hand.

"You're going to be okay. Alright? I promise. I'm here." He said. I nodded.

"Okay." I said. I then allowed Sebastian to pull me into the house. Tasha was hugging Adrian when we came in. She looked at me, and smiled.

"Rose, its been ages. You look amazing." She said. I hugged her, unwillingly since she'd thrown herself on me, but smiled.

"Thank you." I said. She grinned. I then heard that voice. His voice. It broke through all the noise around me.

"Tasha, when are they supp-" He cut himself off when he stepped out of the room. The moment he looked up, his eyes locked with mine. My entire body completely tensed up. I squeezed Sebastian's hand, and he squeezed back. As I gazed into those dark brown eyes, a thousand memories flitted back through my mind. I noticed his eyes went from mine, to my hand in Sebastian's. I watched Dimitri's guardian mask I'd known so well, slip. He looked at Christian and Liss, and smiled. It was fake, and forced.

"So, who is this?" Tasha asked, motioning towards Sebastian. I smiled.

"This is Sebastian Lewis. He's my mentor, and Lissa's new guardian." I said. He squeezed my hand again. He extend his free hand to Tasha.

"It's a pleasure, Ms. Ozera." Sebastian said. She smiled. I felt Dimitri's eyes back on me, but I refused to meet his gaze.

"Hello Rose." He said. My name coming from his lips almost made me shudder. His voice was exactly the way I remembered it. I looked up, and met his eyes for a second, before nodding once.

"Guardian Belikov." I said, quickly averting my gaze elsewhere. Dimitri stepped forward, extending his hand towards Sebastian.

"I'm Dimitri Belikov." He said. Sebastian hesitated, but then shook his hand.

"So I've heard. I'm Sebastian Lewis." He said, his voice clipped. I wasn't sure if it was just me, but the tension in this room was so thick, I could have cut it with my stake. Tasha went on rambling about things to Christian and Liss, while Sebastian, Adrian, and I just stood there.

"Why don't we go into the family room, and catch up?" Tasha suggested. We all nodded, and followed her into the room. Sebastian leaned down as we walked, and placed his mouth by my ear.

"You okay?" He asked. I took a deep breath, and nodded.

"I'm fine." I assured him. He nodded, and kissed my neck right under my ear.

"Behave." I said, giggling. He pulled me onto one of the couches beside him. They all began chatting. Dimitri was speaking to Christian, while Adrian talked to Sebastian, and Tasha and Liss went on and on about Christmas gifts. I just sat there, listening. I was trying to focus on keeping my eyes on Sebastian, but I was having a hard time not looking at Dimitri. Sebastian started rubbing little patterns of circled on my hand with his thumb. He looked up at me, and smiled. He met my eyes with one of those knowing looks.

"Rosa, you want to go get the bags and bring them inside?" He asked. I nodded.

"We'll be back." I said.

"I'll help." Adrian said. Adrian felt about as out of place as I did here. Sebastian made the best of any situation though, so he just fit in. We went outside, and unlocked the van. Adrian looked at me.

"How you holding up, Little Dhampir?" He asked.

"I'm fine." I assured him. He nodded. He grabbed two bags, and carried them inside. Sebastian grabbed me, and brought his mouth to mine.

"You have no idea how bad I want to punch him in the face." He said, when he pulled away. I smiled.

"What did I tell you about behaving?" I asked. He smiled. We grabbed the rest of the bags, and carried them inside, leaving them by the door. We all went back into the family room, and sat down. Finally, Tasha looked over at me, and smiled.

"So, how has your training been coming along?" She asked. Even I saw Dimitri's body tense. I grinned.

"Its been coming a long really good. I've gotten a lot better. Sebastian's taught me a lot of stuff, and how to perfect the stuff I already knew. I'm pretty badass if I do say so myself." I said. She smiled.

"I'm glad. Your going to be an amazing guardian one day." She said. I turned my head to Dimitri then, and smiled.

"I know." I said, in the most smart ass voice I could conjure up. I felt Sebastian lower his head to hide the laugh that he threatened to let loose.

"Perhaps you and Dimitri can fight again, like you used to in practices. Show him how much better you've gotten." She said. I knew that wouldn't be happening. I didn't even want to speak to him, much less practice with him.

"Maybe." I said, doubt in my voice.

"How long have you and Sebastian been training?" She asked.

"About two months or so." I said. She nodded.

"I'd love to see you too train together." She said.

"Me too." Dimitri said. I looked at Sebastian and grinned.

"Sounds like we'll have to give them a show before we leave." I said. He nodded.

"Sounds about right." He said. I grinned, and laid my head over on his shoulder. We spoke for a little while more, before Liss yawned.

"Oh Gosh, I'm sure you guys are tired. Let me show you guys your bedrooms." She said.

"Rose, do you want your own room?"

"I'll share one with Sebastian if you don't mind." I said. Once again, I saw Dimitri's guardian mask slip. She smiled.

"That's fine." She said. I could tell Sebastian was having a hard time not laughing. We all grabbed our bags, and she showed us to our rooms. Sebastian and I threw our bags on the floor, and collapsed on the bed. We both laughed.

"I'm so tired." I moaned. He chuckled.

"Me too." He said. I grinned.

"At least now I don't have to sneak out of the dhampir dorms to come sleep with you." I said. He nodded.

"I still don't get how you haven't got caught yet." He said.

"I'm just that good." I said. He laughed.

"That you are." He said, pressing his lips to mine. I giggled.

"You seem okay. Are you, or are you just becoming a master at pretending to be?" He asked.

"I'm really fine.. Actually." I said. He grinned.

"Good." He said. Christian knocked on the outside of the door.

"Sorry to interrupt, but Liss and I are going to take a nap before dinner." He said.

"Mhmm… I'm sure that's what your going to be doing, fire boy." I said. He rolled his eyes.

"We'll see you guys in a little bit." He said. I nodded.

"Sleep tight fire boy." I said. He shut the door behind me. I giggled.

"I'll be back. I'm going to go get a glass of water from downstairs." I said. He nodded.

"Hurry back." He said. I nodded.

"I'll call." I said, motioning to the radio's we both had in our ears. I walked down the stairs to find Tasha in the kitchen. She smiled.

"I was just wanting to get a drink of water." I said. She nodded, and handed me a glass out of the cabinet.

"So, how have you been Rose?" She asked. "I didn't get to talk to you much."

"I'm great. How are you?" I asked.

"I'm good. So… are you and Sebastian-" She stopped.

"Together?" I asked. She nodded.

"Yeah, we are." I said. She grinned.

"You two are cute. I can tell he thinks highly of you by the way he looks at you." She said. I nodded.

"I know." I said. I filled my glass and smiled.

"You have a beautiful house." I said. She giggled.

"Thank you. I love it here, but it so empty. That's why I wanted all of you here for the holidays. I love all of together, and if I remember correctly, we were all together last Christmas." She said. That was a time I didn't want to think about so, I just nodded.

"I'm going to go back upstairs. I'm tired. We'll catch up more later." I said. She nodded.

"Of course." She said. I turned, and started towards the stairs when Dimitri walked out of the hallway next to the stairs. I met his eyes for a second, and continued up the stairs. I walked in, and walked over to the bed, where Sebastian was laying. I handed him the glass and smiled.

"Thank you."

"Its actually poison." I said. He shrugged. I rolled my eyes.

"Wouldn't surprise me if I don't get poisoned by the time I leave." I said. He shook his head.

"I'd kill him." He said. I laughed.

"Have you noticed a lot of his reactions?" He asked. I nodded.

"I try not to." I said.

"He acts hurt. He acts like he didn't plan on you to move on. Like he expected you to hang on to him forever." He said.

"Fuck that." I said. He smiled.

"I told you that you could do this." He said.

"I know. I didn't think I'd feel so much anger towards him. I figured the only thing I'd be able to focus on his the pain of him being gone, but the fact that he left me for.. For her just pisses me off so much that I feel no pain." I said. He smiled.

"Good." He said. I was partly lying to him. There was a part of my heart that still ached for him. The pain was there, but Sebastian's presence dulled it. Made it something that was extremely easy to ignore. I liked it that way. I curled up against Sebastian. I was hoping I'd be able to fall asleep, but I couldn't do it. I finally decided I need to get out of here for a bit. I found a pad of paper and a pen from my purse. I wrote:

_Sebastian, _

_I went out to run patrol on the area. I need some fresh air anyway. I'll be back in a little bit, and if you need me, I'll have my radio on. I love you._

_-Rosa._

I laid it on the bed where my body had been, and started out the bedroom door, and downstairs. As I walked I just looked around, taking in my surroundings. I hadn't really noticed coming up here, but this place was really beautiful. I was walking, actually enjoying the fresh air. I then heard footsteps behind me, and turned to gaze into a set of dark brown eyes. _Shit. _


	19. No Regrets, Just Love!

My hand automatically flew to my chest, and I gasped.

"Holy shit. I should beat your fucking ass. You scared me." I said. He smiled a little. I then turned my back and kept walking.

"Rose… wait." He said. I shook my head and kept walking.

"I have nothing to say to you Guardian Belikov." I said.

"Will you please stop, and talk to me for like.. Five seconds. You owe me that much." This time, I couldn't help it. I jerked around and glared at him, forcing as much hatred into that look as I could.

"I owe you absolutely fucking nothing. You lied to me, and left me. I owe you shit." I said, turning around, and walking away.

"Roza." He murmured. I froze in my tracks, and clenched my hands into fists.

"That's not my name." I said.

"Oh yeah? I heard Sebastian call you Rosa. Isn't that Italian? It sounds basically the same to me. Trying to stay connected to me somehow, so you might as well let him call you my old nickname." He said. I turned and glared at him.

"What are you trying to prove? Seeing as how what he calls me is in another language and spelled differently, I don't see what point this has."

"I'm trying to prove that you still want me." He said.

"And why the hell would you want to do that?" I asked. He looked down and back up at me.

"Because I haven't stopped thinking about you since I left." He said.

"Oh, that's a load of shit, and you know it." I said.

"Its not. I promise you Roza, I've missed you." He said.

"Well, I hate to break it to you sweetheart, but I haven't missed you." I snapped.

"Your lying. You know I've always been able to tell." He said.I snorted.

"Fuck you Belikov." I snapped. I turned to walk away.

"You can lie to yourself, and Guardian Lewis all you want, but I know better, Rose." He said. I kept walking, shaking my head. He continued to follow me.

"You know Belikov, if you don't leave me the fuck alone, I wont hesitate to bash your face in." I said.

"Rose, I know how hard it is for you to be like this towards me. I know you never liked being ill-tempered with me."

"My ill-tempered fist is about to meet your face if you don't shut it." I snapped.

"You never even gave me the chance to explain why I left, Rose." He said, sounding aggravated now. I couldn't take it anymore. He asked for it. I turned around, and with all the power I could throw into it, I swung and punched him dead in the jaw. He stumbled backwards and grabbed his face. Blood started to trickle down his lip, and down his chin, as he looked back up at me.

"You said more than enough the day you left. Think I don't remember what you said? Think I didn't play it in my head over and over again every damn day, proving that I wasn't good enough. That you wanted Tasha instead of me? I'm with Sebastian now. I love him."

"You love me more." He said, without hesitation, grimacing at the pain talking caused him.

"Wrong! I loved who I thought you were." I said. Now, it wasn't just the physical pain filling his features. I watched as the pain and anguish flooded through those deep, dark brown eyes. I felt no remorse. All I felt was the pure hatred coursing through my veins. I knew he wasn't going to say anything else, so I made my escape. I locked eyes with him once, forcing as much hate and disgust as I could into that look, and turned to walk away, leaving him standing there, staring after me. Much like I had the day he left me at St. Vladimir's. I didn't feel anything as I walked away from him. Nothing but satisfaction, and power. I heard Sebastian's voice then come over my radio.

"Rosa?" He asked. I giggled.

"I should have known you were listening." I said.

"It was hard to sleep with all the screaming." He told me.

"Oh. I'm sorry." I said. He hesitated for a second.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I smiled to myself.

"I actually feel better." I said.

"Did you hit him?" He asked.

"Sure did. Felt good too." I said, proud of myself.

"Is that what that cracking noise was?" He asked.

"Probably." I said. He chuckled.

"That's my girl." He said.

"That's me." I said.

"When are you coming back?" He asked.

"I'm almost there now." I said.

"Okay. I'll be waiting." He said.

"I bet you will." I said, as I heard his radio disconnect. I made my way up the steps and into the house. Tasha smiled at me.

"Did you see Dimitri out there?" She asked. I nodded, and had to look down to keep myself from laughing.

"Yeah, he's out there somewhere. I ran into him once or twice." I said. More like my fist ran into him, but no need to be specific. She nodded. I turned and walked up stairs. The moment I stepped foot through the door, he pulled me in, slammed the door behind me, and pushed me up against it, crushing his mouth to mine. I reached up and knotted my hands into his hair, and clutched my body closer to his. When he pulled away, he grinned.

"I am so proud of you." He whispered. I giggled.

"God, remind me to punch assholes more often." I said. He smiled.

"Ivashkov's next." He said, playfully. I laughed. He brought his mouth back to mine, and kissed me hard.

"We need to stop, or we're not going to be able to leave the room." I said. He smiled.

"Maybe that's what I want." He said. I smiled.

"We can't." I whispered.

"Later tonight?" He asked.

"In Tasha's house?" I asked. He chuckled.

"Why not?" I laughed.

"We'll see." I said. He took my hands and looked at the knuckles on my right hand. They were red, and bruised. He frowned.

"Man, you must have packed some power behind that one.. Didn't you?" He asked.

"When have I ever done anything else?" I asked. He chuckled.

"Very true." He said, seductively. He was making it very hard to focus when he was with me like this. He still had our bodies pressed together up against the door.

"We should go downstairs." I said. He nodded.

"Guess so. I'm sure everyone is awake, and downstairs now." I said. He nodded. He kissed me one more time, and we walked downstairs. As I came into view of the kitchen, I saw Dimitri sitting in a chair, with Liss standing before him.

"Now, what happened?" She asked, as Sebastian and I reached the bottom of the stairs.

"There was a strigoi and he caught me in the jaw. Its no big deal. I killed him, but he kind of dislocated my jaw." He said. He was lying. He was lying for me after everything I said. I shook my head.

"God, Dimitri are you okay?" I asked, trying to make it sound as real as possible.

"Yeah, I'm fine Rose. Thanks." He said, a bitter edge to his voice.

"I was out there with you. Was this after I left?" I asked. He nodded.

"Only a few minutes after you left." He said.

"I'm sorry. If I'd had been there, I could have helped." He shook his head.

"Its fine." He said. I nodded.

"So, what are we doing for dinner tonight?" Adrian asked from across the counter.

"I thought about going out, but since Dimitri got hurt, I just ordered pizza." She said.

"Mmm. My favorite." I said. I saw Dimitri smile and then knew why she'd ordered it. Dimitri was asking for another broken bone. Liss laid her hand on his jaw, and closed her eyes. I felt her magic flare up through the bond. It had been a little bit since I'd felt her use it. I gasped, and clutched my chest. Sebastian was by my side at once, and Dimitri's eyes were frantic on my face.

"What? Rosa! Talk to me, what's wrong?" Sebastian asked. I took a deep breath and shook my head.

"Nothing… Nothing. Its just been.. Awhile since… I've felt her use her magic. Caught me off guard." I said, trying to catch my breath. He held my face in his hands, and met my eyes.

"Just breath. Its fine. You're fine." He said. I stared into his eyes, and nodded.

"I'm fine. Just… I'm fine." I said. He nodded. He kissed me, and shook his head.

"God, you scared me." He said. I frowned.

"I'm sorry." I said. Dimitri gave me a look. One of the looks I remembered so well, as if asking 'are you okay?' I just nodded at him. I really didn't understand why he was being so nice to me whenever I'd just dislocated his jaw. Sebastian got me a glass of water, and handed it too me.

"You baby me too much." I noticed. He chuckled.

"That's not what you say when I whip your ass in practice." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"And that hasn't happened in how long?" I asked. He chuckled.

"Shut up." He said. I giggled. Pizza arrived, and we all ate, while sitting in the family room chatting.

"We need to go shopping soon." Lissa commented. I rolled my eyes.

"Liss, calm down honey. We will eventually go shopping. I promise." I said. She giggled.

"I'm sorry. I just love Christmas, and buying gifts for people." She said. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes Liss, we all know." I said. I swear, I heard her eyes roll. I went into the kitchen when everyone was done, and had put their plates in the sink to begin washing them. I wasn't one to do chores… ever… but I felt bed staying here and not doing anything. Dimitri walked in, and stood on the other side of the sink.

"Need some help?" He asked.

"Nope. I've got it. I just need to know where they go." I said. He took the one's I'd already dried and shoved them where they belonged.

"Or you can put them up. That's cool too." I said. He shrugged.

"So, are you ever going to let me-" I cut him off by throwing a hand up.

"You had to go there, didn't you? Couldn't just leave it where it lies, huh?" I asked.

"Well, you kind dislocated my jaw." He said.

"And you kind of deserved it. Why'd you lie about it?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Why'd you lie for me? No strigoi hit you. I did." I said. He smiled.

"Maybe… Its because I care, and I didn't want it to be weird between everyone." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"Like its not already weird. I could cut the tension here with my stake." He took a step forward, bringing himself closer to me.

"Maybe its not _that _kind of tension." He said. I pulled my stake and pointed it straight at his heart.

"It's bad enough I have to be here. Okay. I wanted to spend my holidays, wrapped up in my bed with Sebastian and a cup of hot chocolate… but no. I had to come spend it with you. I dislike it, but I don't have to regret coming. Don't make me regret it Belikov." I said. I could tell he was nervous. He didn't take his eyes off my stake. I stepped back and put my stake back in the holder.

"Since when do you have one of those?" He asked.

"None of your concern." I said.

"Do you even know how to use it?" He asked. I turned to glare at him.

"Wanna find out?" I asked. He put his hands up.

"I'm good." He said. I nodded.

"Smart man." I said. I stepped away and walked into the living room.

"I'm tired, so I'm going up to shower, and go to bed. I will see you all in the morning." I said. A big round of goodnights came about, and I hugged Liss and Adrian before giving Sebastian a look and starting upstairs. I stopped about halfway up, and waited.

"I think I'm going to turn in too. See you guys in the morning." He said.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's all you guys are going to be doing." Adrian said.

"Shut it Ivashkov, your just jealous!" I called. He laughed. I could see Dimitri's face from the stairs, and he didn't look to happy. He actually looked like he might cry.

"Dammit, how does she always hear me?" He said. I giggled. Sebastian smiled and started up the stairs after me. When we got into our room, he shut and locked the door behind him. I rolled my eyes. I took my jacket off, and unbuttoned my blouse, and I yawned.

"I'm so tired." I said.

"That's what you said earlier, and you didn't even sleep." He said. I shrugged. I walked into the bathroom, and noticed the humongous tub. I smiled. I sighed, and turned and looked in the mirror. I looked like hell. Sebastian walked in behind me, and wrapped his arms around my waist, running his hands down my bare stomach. I laid my head back against his shoulder and sighed. He placed little delicate kisses down my neck, and collar bone, as he pushed my button up blouse down my shoulders and to the floor, leaving me in my bra and slacks.

"You're teasing." I accused.

"I am not. I know exactly what I want, and I know what I'll do to get it." He murmured against my skin.

"And what is it you want so badly?" I asked. He placed his mouth right below my ear and pressed a gentle kiss there.

"You." He whispered, seductively. I turned in his arms, and pressed my lips to his. He smiled against my lips, knowing I was such a softy when it came to him. He picked me up, and carried me over to the bed. He laid me down and smiled.

"I'm yours." I whispered. He nodded.

"Good." He said. I helped him out of his jacket, and went to work diligently on the buttons of his shirt, tearing them open one at a time, careful not to actually rip them off the shirt. I helped him out of his shirt, and threw it on the floor. I wouldn't tell him this, but I was working on trying to keep his clothes in one place, so he wouldn't complain so much. He ran his hands down my bare stomach, to the buckle of my belt, and the button on my slacks, and went to work. He maneuvered them off, throwing them to the floor. My belt clattered and made a loud noise, but he didn't even let his phase him. He brought his mouth back to mine, and continued kissing me. I undid his belt and pulled it off of him, and as gently as I could, laid it on the floor next to the bed. I undid his pants and helped him maneuver them off. He pressed kisses all down my neck, my chest, and my bare stomach. I shuddered. He smiled, loving the fact that I always had that kind of reaction to him. I rolled my eyes. He ran his hands up my back, and flicked the hook of my bra, pulling it away from me. He trailed a hand over my chest and down my stomach, leaving sparks in his fingers paths. He slid a hand inside my panties and maneuvered them down my legs, throwing them off the bed. I grabbed the last piece of cloth separating us, and pulled them off him. Here we were, once again. I smiled up at him, when he moved his lips from mine, as if to say 'I'm ready.' He gazed back with a look of so much love, and affection. He then lowered himself down into me, once again, us becoming one. His name fell from my lips. The pain was minimal, like a scratch or a bruise, it was easy to ignore. I ran my hands up his back, digging my nails into his skin, and pulling him closer to me. As he quickened his pace, the more the pain went away, until it was gone all together. He placed his mouth by my ear, and whispered my name, and other little things in Italian that I couldn't understand. The sound of his voice, husky and full of lust was enough to sent me over the edge. I bucked my hips upward at him, once again, causing my name to fall from his lips. My name sounded beautiful rolling off his tongue. His pace was quickening even faster now, and I knew we were both close, and it was only a matter of time. He thrust into me one last time, and that was it. This white wall of nothing but pleasure crashed over me, drowning me. It was one of the most amazing feelings I'd ever had in my entire life. His name fell from my lips once again, causing my eyes to roll back into my head a little. Sebastian had hit his release the same moment I had. He hovered over me, gazing down into my eyes. A bead of sweat ran down his neck. I reached up, and caught it with my finger.

"You're the most amazing woman." He murmured. I smiled.

"And you're the most amazing man, I've ever met." I assured him. He bent down and kissed me, and smiled.

"I love you Rosa." He murmured.

"I love you too." I said. My body was once again sore, as we both climbed out of bed, and maneuvered around the room. The pain was worth every second though. We both showered, and then crawled into bed, curling up against each other, staring into each others eyes. He laid his hand on my waist, pulling my body closer to his.

"You feeling okay?" He asked.

"I'm perfect." I murmured, my eyes half closed. I was still drowning in pleasure from the events before hand.

"Just checking." He said, smiling.

"Your perfect… do you know that?" I asked. He grinned.

"I'm glad you think so." He said. "But.. I'm not perfect."

"You're the closest thing to it." I said. He chuckled.

"Funny.. I was just thinking the same thing about you." He said. I grinned, and buried my head into his chest. I closed my eyes and slowly fell into a blissful sleep.


	20. Baby, I'm In

The next morning, I woke up to Sebastian wrapping his arms around me, and pulling me against his chest.

"Goodmorning." I said, patting his hands that now laid over my stomach.

"Morning love." He murmured into my hair. I shuddered at the feel of his breath on my neck.

"How are you this morning?" He asked.

"Amazing. How are you?" I asked, turning to look at him.

"Perfect." He murmured, planting a kiss or two to my lips. I sighed in contentment. I really just never want to leave this bed. I wanted him to stay right here, bundled up with me forever. That actually what I wanted our Christmas to be like, but obviously.. Things didn't work out that way. I sighed, and ran a hand through my hair. I sat up, and rolled out of bed. I was sore, so I groaned. I watched his face turn a little pink. It was adorable.

"I'm going to go see if anyone is awake yet." I said. He nodded. I grabbed my slippers out of one of my bags, and slid them on, walking out the door, and downstairs. As I made it downstairs, I noticed it was pretty silent. There wasn't anyone down here, except the one person I didn't want to see first thing in the morning. _Dimitri. _

"Goodmorning." He said.

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered.

"There's coffee if you want." He said, motioning towards the pot. I nodded, and walked around the counter to grab a coffee mug and pour me a cup. I walked around the table, and slid into one of the stools, opposite Dimitri. I was silent. I liked it that way between us, but of course, he couldn't leave it be.

"Sleep well?" He asked.

"I prefer my bed, but it wasn't so bad." I muttered. He nodded.

"I'm sure it wasn't." He almost muttered under his breath.

"So, why are you up so early?" He asked.

"I'm used to being up at this time for practice." I said. He nodded.

"You still practice this early?" He asked. I rolled my eyes and nodded.

"Just because you left, doesn't mean I had to adjust my schedule." I said. "I'm just used to getting up at this time now." He nodded.

"Oh." was his reply. I'm sure he was trying to get some kind of satisfaction from his answer, but he didn't get any. He was quiet for a minute before he spoke.

"I really would like to practice with you once before you leave." He said. I attempted to raise an eyebrow.

"My right hook wasn't enough for you? You coming back for more?" I asked. He smirked.

"Regardless, I would like to practice with you." He said. I shook my head.

"Doubtful." I said, getting up to put my coffee mug into the sink. He gave me a look, and raised an eyebrow.

"What? Why? I don't understand." He said. I sighed. I stood on the other side of the counter and looked at him.

"Okay, I'm going to lay this out plain and simple for you, okay? Because I honestly don't know what else you want from me. Dimitri, you and I? We're over. Anything there could have been before you left, and anything there was before you left is GONE. I'm so pissed at you, I'm so mad at you for the hell, the pain and suffering you put me through. You told me you cared about me, and found peace with me, and whole bunch of other bullshit and then disappeared. Things will NEVER be the way they were between us, so stop pretending that they are. Your lucky I even look at you, as for training with you? Forget it. Sebastian is my mentor now. You had a chance to help me, and teach me what you wanted, and you left. Your time is done. Period." I snapped. He looked pretty caught off guard. I hadn't realized by the end of it, I was yelling. Adrian walked down the stairs, and around the corner.

"Is this a bad time?" He asked. I shook my head.

"I'm just going upstairs. Your good." I said. I locked eyes with Dimitri one last time before walking past Adrian. He grabbed my arm gently, and pulled me to look at him.

"You okay?" He asked. I smiled at him, and nodded.

"I'm fine. Thanks." I said. I kissed the top of his head before continuing up stairs. When I got to our door, Sebastian was standing in the door frame, staring down the hall at Christian, who was standing in his door. They both looked at me.

"What?" I asked. Sebastian pulled me into his arms.

"Think you've got it all out of your system for today?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Probably not." I told him. Christian chuckled, and walked back into his room. I walked into the room, and to my bag. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt, and put it on. I let my hair fall around my shoulders, and did a little make-up. He smiled as I walked out.

"There's my girl." He said.

"So what? When I've just woken up, hair a mess, and in PJ's I'm not your girl?" He asked.

"You're my girl twenty-four seven." He said. I nodded.

"Good. Don't you forget it either." I snapped playfully at him. He chuckled, and pulled me into a hug. Sebastian got dressed and we both went downstairs. Everyone was sitting around the counter Dimitri and I had once been at, just chatting away. I stood in the back, and just listened. Dimitri looked up and met my eyes one time, and smiled a little. I didn't give him much response, except a narrowing of my eyes and a turning of my head.

"I have a question." I said, raising my hand when the talking slowed a little

"Yes, Rose?" Tasha said, smiling.

"Do you guys… have a gym somewhere near by?" I asked. She chuckled.

"Its downstairs." She said.

"You have a gym? In. Your. House?" I asked. She nodded.

"Dimitri's demands." She said. I nodded.

"Of course." I said. She smiled.

"Your welcome to use it anytime you want. Sebastian, that goes for you too." She said. We nodded.

"Thank you." Sebastian said. She then went on talking to Liss.

"So, who's up for shopping today?" Liss asked. I groaned. _And so it began. _I thought. Tasha was the first to raise her hand.

"I am." She said. Adrian shrugged.

"I'm up for whatever." He said.

"Whatever you guys want to do." I said. They all nodded.

"Then, we can go out for dinner after." She said. I nodded.

"I'll go get dressed." I said, turning. Really, I just wanted to lounge around with Sebastian today, but… That's wasn't my job. This was. Protecting Lissa, following her every move, when she wasn't in the care of a guardian was my job. I trudged up the stairs, and plunged into my bag, looking for something decent to wear. I pulled out a mini-skirt, and a long-sleeved v-neck shirt. I ran a brush through my hair, and ran my straightener through my hair a few times, and smiled. I walked out of the bathroom, to find Sebastian pulling on his uniform.

"Not uniforming it?" He asked. I smiled, and picked up my stake, shoving it into the holder I'd secured inside my skirt. It wasn't even noticeable.

"Nah. I figured since I'm going to be close guard, I might as well look the part." I said. He nodded. He then took a step back and looked at me.

"I prefer that on you anyway." He said. I watched his eyes run up and down my body. He grinned.

"Stop." I said, walking towards the door. I shook my butt a little at him before I shut the door behind me. I heard him chuckle. I went to Lissa's room, looking for her, but she wasn't there, so I walked downstairs. As I turned the corner, to walk into the family room, where I heard her voice, I ran smack into someone. I stumbled back, but he caught my elbow with a firm hand. The moment he touched me, I knew who it was, because this fire shot straight up my arm, setting my whole body ablaze.

"Sorry, Rose." He said. I shook my head, and stepped away, so he released his grip on my elbow.

"Yeah." I said, trying to step around him. He stepped in front of me. I tried to step the other way, but he did it again. I looked up to meet his eyes.

"I'm not playing your games right now. Move." I said. He smirked, and stepped out of my way. I growled. I walked into the living room, and smiled at Liss to the best of my ability.

"You guys ready?" I asked. She nodded, and so did Tasha.

"Is Dimitri going?" Liss asked. I shrugged.

"I don't know." I said. _I hope not. _I added silently.

"I'll go ask, and go see if Sebastian and Adrian are ready." I said. They nodded. I went back towards the stairs, and started up them when Adrian came down.

"You ready?" I asked. He nodded. I passed him, and went into our room to find Sebastian shoving his stake into his holder.

"God, your worse than a girl." I said. He chuckled.

"Shut up." He said, smiling at me. He walked down the stairs, following me. We all piled into the two vehicles and headed to the mall. I'd made sure to grab my debit card on the way out of our room. When we got there, we all hooked up to our radio's, and connected to each other. We started in, me following Liss and the other moroi.

"Adrian, Christian… Are you guys going to go do something else, or are you staying with us?" I asked. Adrian looked at Christian and shrugged.

"We'll go find some trouble to get into." Adrian said. I rolled my eyes.

"Behave." I said. They nodded.

"Dimitri, will you keep an eye on them?" I asked. He nodded.

"Done." He said, a hardness in his voice. I nodded. Adrian and Christian started to walk away, but Adrian turned back to me.

"Hey Rose?" He called.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Call me if you plan on going into Victoria's Secret. I'd like to watch you try stuff on." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"Go away Ivashkov." I said. Sebastian pulled me against him, and grinned.

"That's for my eyes only." He said. Adrian narrowed his eyes.

"Lucky." He said.

"You have no idea." Sebastian said. He shook his head, and turned to walk away. Dimitri stood there for a second, staring at me. He had his guardian mask on, except it was twisting, and contorting into something different.

"Your going to lose them if you don't go." I said, meeting his eyes. His face never changed, and he showed no emotion as he turned and walked away. I turned back to Liss and Tasha, with their eyes intently on me. I smiled.

"Lets do this." I said. They nodded. I looked at Sebastian.

"Stay close." I said. He smiled.

"Sure thing." He said. He kissed me, and I ran off to follow Tasha and Liss. They walked into the first store they saw, looking at racks of clothes, and shoes, and such.

"Aren't you supposed to be Christmas shopping?" I asked.

"I am." Liss replied. "I deserve a present too." I rolled my eyes. I walked around, looking at clothes, and shoes, but also around where they were standing, the people in the store around them. I walked back over to them, and helped Liss pick out a few things. We paid and moved onto the next store. Shopping went on for what seemed like forever. I heard Sebastian chuckle through my radio.

"Having fun love?" He asked.

"Loads." I said. He chuckled.

"They'll be done soon…. Wont they?" He asked.

"Not even close." I said.

"So… what'd you get me?" He asked.

"What do you want?" I asked. He chuckled.

"I'm just kidding. I don't want you to get me anything." He said. I rolled my eyes as I walked through the stores.

"I'm going to get you something. I promise. I just don't know what yet." I said. He chuckled.

"Alright. I already know what I'm getting you. Actually, I've already got it. I just have to go pick it up." He said. I shook my head.

"I swear. Your horrible." I said.

"You wont think that when you see what I got you." He informed me. I rolled my eyes. I continued to follow them around, completely bored. Shopping had always been fun when it was just Liss and I, but not when we had a whole crowd. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Sebastian, think you can take over for a little bit, so I can go look?" I asked.

"Yeah. I'll follow them. Go ahead." He said.

"God, thank you." I said. I walked off, leaving Liss and Tasha with Sebastian. I was trying to think of something to get Sebastian. I wasn't quite sure. I then realized something I could get him that would be of use. I noticed the other day that his stake holder had a hole in it, and it was falling apart. I smiled, realizing that was one thing I could get him. I went and picked up a solid black, leather stake holder for him. As I walked into one store, I turned to walk out, and something shiny and silver caught my eye. I picked it up, and inside was an old rickety looking key with a heart carved into it. In script writing underneath the heart, it said 'I'm yours'. I smiled, thinking about the long silver chain Sebastian wore, always keeping it inside his shirt. I picked it up, and threw it onto the counter, paid for it, and left.

"Rosa, I think the girls are ready. Go see if you can find the guys." He said.

"Will do sweetheart." I said, smiling. I walked for a little bit, until finally I spotted Dimitri. He locked eyes with me for a second, and then looked down.

"Hey… The girls are ready to go." I told him.

"I heard. They're finishing their game." He said. I looked into the arcade to see Christian and Adrian playing a racing game.

"Jesus, you would think they were twelve." I muttered. I heard him chuckle a little bit.

"Rose?" Dimitri said, all joking humor gone. I turned.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I would like to get you something for Christmas, but I don't know what you would like." He said. I met his eyes and shook my head.

"I don't want anything." I told him.

"You mean, you don't want anything from me." He corrected me. I hated how well he knew me.

"I don't want anything from you, your right." I said. He looked away and nodded.

"Roza-" He started, but I cut him off.

"What did I tell you about calling me that?" I snapped, before walking away from him, and into the arcade to the game Christian and Adrian were playing.

"Can we go… please?" I asked. Adrian crossed the finish line the same time Christian did on the game, but it said Adrian came in first.

"Awe, that's bullshit." Christian said. Adrian laughed.

"Guys… Can we go?" I asked, voice a little more harsh.

"Rematch." Christian said.

"Alright." Adrian said, as if I wasn't standing there.

"No.. There will be no rematch, we're leaving." I said, grabbing Adrian and Christian's hands, pulling them out of the chairs.

"Come on, Rose." Christian said. I shook my head.

"We'll leave you here." I said.

"That's fine." Adrian said.

"Without a guardian." I corrected.

"Never mind." He said, and they followed me out. We met up with the rest of them and piled into the van. I made sure to hide my bags under the seat, and away from Sebastian's view. We all debated on going out to eat, but we were all to tired, so we agreed to go out to lunch tomorrow. We got home, and I went straight upstairs to hide Sebastian's gifts. I went back downstairs to find Sebastian and Adrian talking in the kitchen. It got really quiet when I entered.

"Oh, don't let me interrupt." I said. Sebastian chuckled.

"Your never interrupting, love." He said. I rolled my eyes, but kissed him.

"I think I'm going to go do a check around the house, and the area before I go to bed." I said.

"Want me to come with you?" He asked. I shook my head.

"I'm a big girl." I assured him, with a smile. "I want a little time to myself. I'll be back, and my radio will be on if I need you." He nodded.

"I love you." He said.

"Love you too." I told him. I kissed him one more time, before turning and walking out into the cool night. As I started walking the premises of Tasha and Dimitri's house. I shuddered. I still hated thinking of them two together. I'd noticed that… They didn't really act like, a couple. That had confused me since I'd gotten here. As I walked, I felt my stomach stir. It was a really uncomfortable feeling. I then, heard footsteps behind me. I turned, and looked into a set of red-rimmed eyes. _Oh Shit. _


	21. Stronger

I stared into those red-rimmed eyes, frozen with fear. The nausea I felt got worse as he came closer.

"What are you doing out here all alone?" He asked, amused. His voice was like an icy wind against my skin.

"Looking for ticks like you." I said. My hand was on my stake in my belt, and I noticed his eyes moved to my hand. He smiled, causing my skin to crawl. I noticed he looked very young, maybe nineteen. He took another step closer and but I pulled my stake. His grin only widened.

"You're a little young to be carrying such a dangerous weapon." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"Wrong. I bet I can still whip your ass." I snapped. He growled, and lunged for me. I sidestepped and dodged his attack. He swung at me, trying to grab a hold of me, but I raked my stake across his skin, causing him to growl and cry out in pain as his skin sizzled. I threw a fury of punches and kicks, trying to find an opening to his chest. When I got close enough, he made his chest an extremely hard target. He grabbed a hold of my digging his nails into me, causing blood to pour out of my arm. I ignored the pain, and focused on the adrenaline coursing through my veins. I had to kill him. It was kill or be killed and I was not planning on dying. He lunged at me, but with a speed he was ready for, I struck out with a fierce kick, catching him right in the face with such a force he stumbled back and almost fell. I used his falter to my advantage. I kicked his legs out from under him, causing him to fall flat on his back. I fought to get to his chest, but he was good at making sure his heart was protected. I struck out with a powerful punch, catching him off-guard. I drew my stake above my head, and plunged it into his chest. He grabbed a hold of my arm, squeezing. I felt bones popping, but I couldn't let it stop me. I pushed harder until I felt the life drain from him, and his hand slipped off my arm. I watched as his eyes glazed over. He was dead. I stood up, staring down at his body. My legs turned to mush, and I sank to the ground. I wasn't sure why, but a few tears leaked down my face. I looked down at my arms, covered in blood, mine and his. I then heard more footsteps, coming fast towards me. I looked up to see Dimitri.

"Roza." He said. I didn't even have the strength to yell at him. He ran over to me, and bent down.

"God, your arms." He said, taking one of my arms into his hand.

"I'm fine." I said. He turned to look at the strigoi's body, with my stake sticking out of his heart.

"Did you-?" He asked. I nodded.

"You staked him?"

"I did." I whispered. A ghost of a grin flickered across his face.

"Your first staking." He said. I nodded.

"It's a lot harder than you make it look." I murmured. He smiled a bit.

"It is. I know. Come on. Lets get you back to the house so Liss or Adrian can heal you." He said.

"I'll be fine." I assured him. I tried to stand up, but my legs still turned to Jello beneath me, and I started back towards the ground. He caught me, and wrapped a secure arm around my waist. I looked up to meet his eyes.

"Thank you." I said. He stared at me, locked intent to my gaze without saying anything, but then nodded.

"Come on." He said, pulling me towards the house.

"My stake." I said, motioning to the strigoi. He walked me back over to him, and bent down, pulling it out of the dead strigoi's chest and handing it to me. We then started back towards the house. The pain in my arms was becoming worse with each step. It was easy to ignore when I was fighting, now it was all I could focus on. My legs were becoming more and more weak. When we made it to the door, I stumbled inside, almost falling and nearly bringing Dimitri down with me. I moaned at the pain in my arm. Sebastian was at the door immediately along with Adrian

"God, Rosa, what happened?" He asked. He took me out of Dimitri's arms, and pulled me up into his arms against his chest. He carried me into the kitchen and sat me on the counter.

"There was a strigoi." I said. "He attacked me, and I…I killed him." He touched my arm and I grimaced at the pain.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I nodded.

"I'm fine." I said. I slid down off the counter, going to attempt to stand, but my legs still wouldn't hold me. He caught me, but I leaned up against the counter for support. Liss and Tasha came in with all the noise, followed by Christian coming in from downstairs.

"Oh God, Rose… what happened?" She asked.

"Strigoi." I said.

"Are you okay?" She asked. I nodded.

"I'm fine." I said. "Its just a scratch." Actually, I was lying. It was pretty deep. Dimitri wet a wash cloth and laid it over the cuts on one of my arm, and wiped the blood away, proving I was lying.

"God, Rose." Liss gasped. A tear ran down her cheek.

"I'll take care of it." She said, starting to lay her hand on my arm.

"No.. Its fine. It'll heal." I said.

"Rose, don't do this now. Its bad. It could get infected. Please." She said.

"Rosa, let her heal it." Sebastian said, meeting my gaze. I looked out the corner of my eye to see Dimitri nod at me.

"Fine." I muttered. She laid her hand on my arm, causing me to wince, but then I felt her magic flow through me, and the pain quickly subsided, and the wound pretty much closed up, leaving nothing but a tiny, pink slit on both arms. I met her eyes, and smiled.

"Thank you." I said. I tried to take a step forward, but obviously her healing didn't help my Jello like legs. I was weak. I fought hard.

"You should take her upstairs, and let her get some sleep." Dimitri said, looking at Sebastian. "She's weak." Sebastian nodded, and pulled me into his arms. He looked back at Dimitri and met his eyes.

"Thank you." Sebastian said. Dimitri nodded once, and turned to walk away as he carried me towards the stairs. In that one look, I knew what he was thinking. Dimitri wanted to be the one to carry me up the stairs. He wanted to be the one to take care of me, and make sure I wasn't hurt. I pushed the thought away quickly. Sebastian kicked our door open, and laid me down in our bed. I groaned as my body hit the bed. My entire body ached, and I was so sore.

"Rosa, are you okay?" He asked, sitting down next to me.

"I'm fine." I said.

"Are you sure?" He asked. I reached over and touched his face.

"I'm fine, Sebastian. I promise." I told him. He nodded.

"God, why didn't you call me when you knew there were strigoi." He asked.

"I didn't know until it was too late." I said, thinking back to the nausea I felt right before the strigoi attacked me. I didn't remember that when we were kidnapped in Spokane though. He smiled at me.

"You staked your first strigoi." He said. I nodded.

"Its not as easy as most guardians make it look." I said, remembering back to the day Natalie Dashkov had attacked me, back at school and Dimitri had saved me.

"I know." He said, chuckling. I sighed.

"My body aches." I moaned.

"We should probably get you out of those bloody and dirty clothes." Sebastian said. I nodded. He brought me my bag, and I grabbed a pair of shorts, and tank top, and changed in the bed. It was hard, but I wouldn't have been able to stand if I tried. I threw my dirty clothes on the floor, along with my bag, and curled up. Sebastian went and got a wet wash rag, and wiped the blood off me, and cleaned the dirt off my face. He was so gentle with me, and I loved the feel of his hands on me. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine.

"I'm glad your okay." He whispered. I nodded.

"Me too." I said. Sebastian changed his clothes, and crawled into bed with me, pulling me against his chest. I sighed.

"I don't think I've ever been that scared in my life." I whispered. He shook his head.

"You're an amazing fighter. You could take out any strigoi with ease. No need to be afraid." He whispered.

"I was scared I was going to die. I've never had to face a strigoi completely alone. I had Christian and Mia in Spokane." I told him. "They helped me, but I had to do this all on my own, and I've never been more terrified in my life." He hugged me tight.

"But I've also never felt stronger, now that I've staked him." I said. He smiled.

"That means, you get another _molnija _mark when we get back to the Academy." He said. I smiled. "You'll be tied with me." He said. I nodded.

"That's right. You better do some killing, or I'll surpass you." I told him. He chuckled.

"I already plan on that." He said. "But I don't mind." I reached up, and kissed him.

"Thank you for taking care of me." I whispered.

"Its my job." He said.

"Actually, its your job to take care of Liss." I informed him.

"You're my second job." He said. I giggled.

"Oh. Well, I guess that works." I said. He nodded. My eyes were starting to droop. He kissed my forehead, and grinned.

"I love you, Rosa." He murmured.

"I love you too." I said. I buried my face deeper into his chest, and closed my eyes, slowly falling asleep.


	22. Safe With Me

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed. My body still ached, and I was sore everywhere, my arms being the worst. I rolled over to feel a piece of paper underneath of my hand I unfolded it to see it was in Sebastian's handwriting.

_My dearest Rosa,_

_I've escorted the moroi out to lunch. I thought about waking you, but I knew you'd be tired and wouldn't want to go, so I let you sleep. I hope your feeling better this morning. I'll be back as soon as I can, but with them… I never know. I'll see you soon._

_Love, Sebastian._

I smiled, and rolled out of bed. I braced myself as I stood, hoping my legs wouldn't turn to mush, and me have to crawl everywhere. I was able to stand, which was good. I grabbed a change of clothes, and heading into the bathroom to get a shower. The hot water felt so good on my muscles, un-kinking all the knots in my back. I took the longest shower I'd ever taken before, just standing under the water. Finally, I got out, and threw my hair up in a bun. I got dressed, and did a little make-up, before going downstairs. I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and went downstairs to the basement to where they said the gym was. I walked in and found the light switch. It was really nice, and there was a lot of stuff in there. I walked around looking before I started working out. I did arms first, lifting about eighty pounds up over my head and holding it. When I got on the treadmill, I heard the door open, and looked up to see Dimitri standing in the doorway. He smirked a little bit.

"I figured it wouldn't be long before you found your way down here." He said.

"I can leave." I said, stepping off the treadmill. He shook his head.

"No, its fine. I don't mind." He said. I knew he didn't.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. I sighed, and walked over to one of the benches and sat.

"Better. I'm still sore, but I can walk now." I said.

"Yeah, you were having some problems with that last night." He said. I nodded.

"I know." I said. He chuckled a little bit.

"Shut up. It wasn't funny." I snapped. He nodded.

"I know it wasn't. You could have been hurt." He said. I attempted to raise an eyebrow.

"Could have been hurt worse." He corrected. I nodded.

"Thank you for helping me back last night." I said. He shook his head.

"I wasn't going to just leave you out there, Rose." He informed me. I shrugged.

"I would have eventually made it back on my own." I said.

"Before or after the sun came up?" He asked. I growled playfully at him.

"Shut up." I said. He smirked a little. It was weird to be having a conversation with him, and not yelling and screaming at each other the way we have been. He obviously wanted to keep it this way, when he spoke again.

"So, you staked your first strigoi." He said. I nodded.

"And was terrified while doing it." I said. He shrugged.

"Its to be expected. It's a scary profession." He said.

"You get scared?" I asked. I'd always thought of Dimitri as someone who didn't get scared, as someone who just took everything as it came, and if something bad happened, so be it. I knew now, obviously, I'd been wrong.

"Yeah. I was scared when I found you on the ground last night." He said, meeting my eyes. I wasn't sure what to say to that, so I just looked down at my hands.

"Rose-" He said, but I knew where this was headed.

"Please, don't. We were doing so good." I said.

"We can't keep beating around this bush forever, Roza. We have to talk about this at some point." He said.

"I don't want to hear it." I said.

"If I talk, will you listen?" He asked. It sounded so similar to what Sebastian had said the day he talked me into coming here.

"I don't-" I started.

"Rose, please. All I'm asking is that you listen." He begged. I sighed, and nodded.

"I'm listening." I whispered. I didn't want to be. I wanted to run up to my room, and lock the door until Sebastian came home.

"Rose, I'm an idiot. I was an idiot to think I could live my life without you. I was an idiot to leave you knowing how much I love you." He started. I just stared at him.

"If you loved me, you wouldn't have left." I whispered, not meeting his gaze.

"I left because I thought Tasha could take me away from you. I thought if I left, I could be with Tasha, and make her happy, and completely forget about what you and me have." He said.

"Had." I corrected. He shook his head.

"Have. Its still there. You've just learned to ignore it." He said. I just shook my head.

"I left because I was scared. I was scared of what a relationship between you and I would do to our jobs, and it just… your so much younger than I am, but.. I know now age means absolutely nothing, because you are the most grown up, mature, and strong eighteen year old I've ever met." He said. "I was a coward. I ran, hoping Tasha could take me away from it all, but she couldn't."

"You shouldn't have left. You have no idea what you leaving did to me." I whispered.

"Rose, I know that. I know I hurt you." I said.

"Hurt is an understatement, Dimitri." I said, trying to keep control over my voice.

"Rose, there hasn't been a day I haven't thought about you since I've left." He said.

"You're with Tasha, Dimitri. You shouldn't feel that way." I said. He shook his head, and met my eyes.

"I'm not with Tasha. I'm her guardian. That's it." He said.

"What? But you-" He smiled an unhappy smile.

"I tried being with her. I really did. I honestly thought she could take me away from you, make me forget everything, but she couldn't, she didn't, and she wont ever." He said. I felt tears well to my eyes, but I blinked them back. This wasn't a time to show weakness, this was a time to be strong.

"I understand what I put you throug-" I cut him off by standing up.

"No. You don't. You have no idea what you put me through. Hell? That isn't even a good enough word. There really aren't words to describe what you did to me. Don't pretend to understand." I snapped. Here I was, yelling at him again.

"I'm sorry, Roza." He said. My nickname sent a chill don't my spine.

"Its too late to apologize. There isn't anything you can say that makes any of this better. You fucked this all up." I said. He nodded.

"I know I did, Rose. I know that, but… I still want you." He said. I shook my head.

"I'm with Sebastian." I said. He nodded.

"And your using him for the same thing I was using Tasha for." He said. I glared at him.

"Your wrong." I said. He shook his head.

"You don't love him. You know you don't." He said. I laughed.

"You have no idea what your talking about." I said. He shook his head.

"I do. Roza, I know you still feel it. The connection that we've had since we've met. You know its still there, and you know you still love me." He said. I was just staring at him. He took a few steps forward, coming closer to me.

"Is that what you want? Me to admit that I love you? Yes, Dimitri. I still love you, but I don't want you. Sebastian is who I want now. He's never hurt me, he's never left me. He's always been here. I want him." I said. He was now standing in front of me. He took another step and I stepped back, putting my back against the wall. I was trapped. I could fight, but I was too weak.

"Roza, I love you." He whispered, his voice dripped so much emption, it was painful to listen to. These were the words he'd never actually spoken to me. The words I'd longed to hear from day one. I looked up to meet his gaze.

"Dimitri, don't." I murmured. He leaned down, leaving our lips only inches apart. _Move Rose Move! _I was screaming in my head, but my body was frozen in place. He leaned the rest of the way in, and pressed his lips to mine. I didn't kiss back… at first. I wasn't sure what came over me, but I reached up and touched his face, and kissed back. I'd missed this, missed us so much. I then heard a voice that shattered my entire world.

"Rose." I heard from down the hall. I pulled away to see Sebastian standing at the door. Before I could speak, or even fully realize what had just happened he was gone.


	23. Please, Don't Leave Me

My mind was completely overloaded. I wasn't really sure what had just happened. When things finally started to register, I turned to Dimitri. The severity of this situation fully hit me the moment I met his eyes. I pushed him back with as much strength I could find in my weak body. He stumbled back. The moment he was far enough away, I took off running towards the door, and after Sebastian.

"Rose, wait-" He called after me. I didn't even turn, I bolted out the door, and up the steps, back to the main part of the house.

"Sebastian." I called, but the door slammed behind him.

"Dammit." I muttered, as I pushed my legs to carry me faster. I slung the door open, and ran out into the night air after him. He finally stopped, and stared off into the distance. I stood there, staring at him. I left a good distance between us.

"Sebastian, please." I whispered. My strong façade fell, and tears started streaming down my face. He said nothing, and didn't turn around.

"Will you please say something?" I begged. I couldn't take the silence. He turned around to look at me, but the look of hurt on his face made me want to hit my knee's and grovel at his feet.

"I don't know what the hell you want me to say." He snapped at me. He'd never yelled at me like that before.

"I'm so-" He cut me off.

"Why would you do that?" He asked. "I thought, I believed for just a second that you really actually wanted me over him. I understood what happened between you, stood by you through everything, but that wasn't enough for you." A sob threatened to break loose from my chest, but I contained it.

"I don't want him." I whispered.

"Then what the hell was that, Rose?" He asked.

"I honestly don't know." I said, my voice sounding so small. He ran a hand through his dirty blonde hair, showing that he was frustrated.

"If you want to be with him, tell me now. It'll save me a lot of embarrassment. I'm not going to sit around and let you do this behind my back, and pretend to be oblivious to it." He said. I shook my head. I took a deep breath, and looked up to meet his blue eyes, full of pain and hurt.

"I don't know what happened back there. We were just talking, and then… he kissed me. It was a moment of weakness, and I'm sorry." I whispered, knowing there were no other words to offer up, knowing that there was nothing I could say to make it better. I turned to walk away, going to go back to our room, and move to an empty one. I felt his hand, gently close around my wrist.

"Rose, I'm asking you. Do you want to be with him?" He asked. I met his eyes with a serious intensity as I spoke the next words.

"I… I want you." I said. He didn't release me from his gaze.

"Rosa, I told you I wanted you to be happy, and I'd be here for you no matter what. If he's what you want, I'll let you go." He said. I looked down, thinking of all the things Dimitri had said in the gym. How he loved me, but was scared, and he left cause he was afraid. I met his eyes again, and shook my head.

"Its only you." I whispered. He didn't look like he believed me. I didn't blame him. He saw me kissing the guy I'd been in love with. I wouldn't have believed me either.

"I understand if you don't believe me. I'm just going to go get my things and move to the empty room down the hall." I said. I turned my back, and started to walk away.

"Rosa." He whispered. I turned to see the tear roll down his cheek. I'd never seen him cry before, so seeing the tear escape down his face was almost enough to bring me to my knee's.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I believe you." He said, nodding. "I believe you. Please, don't leave." I locked eyes with him for a second, before he walked over to me, and took my face in his hands, bringing his lips roughly to mine. I reached up and knotted my fingers into his hair. I clutched my body to his, kissing him as tears streamed down my face. When I pulled away, I laid my forehead against his.

"I love you, Sebastian. Only you." I whispered.

"I love you too Rosa. Forever." He murmured. I knew that word was dangerous, but I didn't care. It sounded amazing, and in this moment, forever was all I wanted with him. I brought my mouth back to his, and kissed him again.

"I'm sorry, Sebastian. I'm so sorry." I said. He shook his head, took my face in his hands.

"Don't. I understand. I'm sorry I got upset and yelled at you." He said.

"Its not as if I don't deserve worse." I whispered. He shook his head.

"No. You don't. I know how you feel about him." He said.

"That gives me no excuse to kiss him when I'm with you." I told him. He shook his head.

"Let's just forget it." He whispered. I nodded. He took my hand, and we went for a walk around the property, just staring up at the moon and the stars.

"I can't wait to go home." I finally said. He smiled, and nodded.

"Me too." He whispered. I smiled, and laid my head on his shoulder.

"Its getting late, we should probably go inside." I said. He nodded.

"Alright." He said. We both walked inside, and to the stairs. Dimitri was coming down the hallway, and Sebastian saw him. I felt him stiffen, and for a second, I thought he might go after him.

"Its not worth it." I whispered. He met my eyes for a second, and continued on up the stairs, with me trailing behind him. When we got upstairs, he slammed and locked the door behind us.

"I don't know if I'm going to be able to stay here without hurting him." Sebastian said.

"Its fine. We only have maybe a week or so left and we'll be gone." He groaned.

"A week or so? Jesus." He said. I laughed.

"It'll be gone before you know it." I said. He sighed.

"God, I hope so." He said. I grinned, and grabbed his hand, pulling him to the bed, and pushing him down onto it. I crawled over top of him, straddling him. He smiled. He reached up, and cupped my face in his hands, and brought my mouth to his. We made out for a little bit, but he never pushed for anything more than that, and neither did I. I wasn't sure I could handle having sex tonight anyway. My body was still sore from the strigoi ass-whooping, I gave and received yesterday. Finally, we both laid in bed, silently staring at each other, just basking in each others presence. Every once in a while, he'd say something, or press a delicate kiss to my lips or forehead, but other than that, we just laid there. It was a very comfortable silence. It wasn't long before I curled up against his chest and let him wrap his strong arms around me. Slowly I fell asleep, only to be sucked into Adrian's dream world.

"Little Dhampir." He said. I smiled.

"Hey Adrian." I said.

"How you doing?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Ehh." I said. He smiled.

"I overheard Dimitri telling Christian what happened." He said. I nodded.

"Yeah." I said.

"You didn't punch him?" He asked. I shook my head.

"I didn't have time. I had to go after Sebastian." I said.

"He saw?" He asked. I nodded.

"The whole thing." I told him.

"He didn't go after Dimitri?" He asked. I shook my head.

"He was to upset. He really didn't know what to do." I said.

"Are you guys okay?" He asked.

"We are now. I talked to him, and we're cool." I said.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"He kissed you. You used to be in love with the guy. I mean, I'm not sure if you still are or not, but that would shake me up pretty bad." He said. I smiled.

"I'm… I'm breathing. It took me back, but.. I don't want him anymore." I said, firmly. He nodded.

"I'm glad your okay, Rose." He said. I smiled.

"Oh, by the way.. What do you want for Christmas?" I asked him. He chuckled.

"You don't have to get me anything." He said.

"Are you getting me something?" I asked. He hesitated.

"Maybe." He said.

"Then I'm getting you something." I told him. He rolled his eyes.

"Just surprise me." He said. I nodded.

"I'll try." I said. He smiled.

"I'll let you sleep honey. I'm glad you worked things out with Sebastian." He said. I smiled.

"Thanks." He nodded, and hugged me.

"See you in the morning Little Dhampir." He said.

"Night Adrian." I said. The dream world dissolved around us, and I was back in my bed, with Sebastian's arms wrapped around me. I leaned forward, and gently touched my lips to his. A small smile formed on his face, but he didn't wake. I smiled, and buried my face in his chest and slowly fell back to sleep.


	24. The Mess I Made!

I woke up the next morning in a really weird mood. Sebastian was still snoozing beside me when I woke up, so stealthily, I got out of bed, and got dressed. I went down the hall to find Liss just coming out of her room. She smiled timidly.

"Hey." She said.

"Hey. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go to the mall, just me and you. I haven't really got to shop for many people, and we haven't had any Liss and Rose time since we left." I said. She smiled, and nodded.

"Yeah, sure. It'll be fun." She said. She went back into her room to tell Christian while I went to wake Sebastian up to tell him. He nodded.

"Can I trust you here with Dimitri?" I asked. He met my eyes with a serious look.

"I'm asking you not to start anything. Remember, we still have a while before we can leave. Please." I said. He nodded.

"I wont." He said. I smiled.

"Thank you baby." I said. I kissed him, and grabbed my stake.

"I love you." He said.

"I love you too." I whispered. I pressed another kiss to his lips before heading downstairs. Dimitri was standing in the kitchen when I stepped off the bottom step. I didn't even look his direction. I walked into the family room to let Liss know I was ready. She nodded, so I told her I'd be waiting in the van. As I started back towards the kitchen, heading for the door, Adrian was walking down the stairs. He saw Dimitri, and then looked at me.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked. I could see in his eyes what we was doing. He was saving me from having to have Dimitri speak to me, or me killing him. I nodded.

"Yeah. I was about to go outside. We can go out there." I said. He nodded, and I followed him out, pretending Dimitri wasn't even there. I felt his eyes on my back, but completely ignored it. Once we were outside, with the door shut, I sighed.

"Thank you so much." I said. He smiled.

"Your welcome. How you holding up?" He asked.

"I'm good. Liss and I are going to the mall. We haven't really got to hang out, just me and her since we left… so I figured today would be good. I need some girl time." I said. He nodded.

"Will you do me a favor?" I asked. He nodded.

"Will you keep an eye on Sebastian for me? I made him promise me he wouldn't start anything with Dimitri, but that's A LOT of testosterone for one house. If something happens, please call me. I trust him, but… he was pretty upset yesterday, and I know how Dimitri gets. Just please, watch them for me." He nodded, but then frowned.

"What if one of them tries to… hurt me?" He asked. I laughed.

"I'll kick both of their asses, and I'll let you watch. Deal?" I asked. He nodded.

"Deal!" He said. I giggled. Liss came out, and I smiled.

"Remember, call me if anything happens." I said. He nodded. Liss got into the passengers seat as I climbed into the drivers seat. On the way there, we talked about what she'd gotten everyone for Christmas. She almost slipped up and told me what she got me, causing us both to bust out laughing.

"You know, I've really missed girl time between us. We rarely get to do stuff like this." I said. She nodded.

"I know. You do a lot of training now, and I-" She stopped, and I finished the sentence for her.

"Your always with Christian." I said. She frowned.

"Your right." She said. "God… Rose, I'm sorry. I can't believe I've been blowing you off for him the way I have." I shook my head.

"Don't. I understand. You love him. It's not a big deal." I said. She frowned.

"Rose, I really am sorry." She said.

"Liss stop." I said. She nodded. We arrived at the mall, and headed in.

"What are you going to get Adrian?" She asked.

"I honestly thought about buying him a bottle of Vodka, but I can't buy it, and he hasn't really been drinking that much anyway. I want to get him something nice, like something Adrian would use, but he's so high maintenance I have no idea." I said. She laughed.

"What were you thinking?" She asked.

"I'm not really sure. What do you get the guy that has everything?" I asked. She smiled.

"I know what you could give him that you wouldn't have to buy." She said. I shook my head.

"I don't think so." I said. She was referring to me kissing him, and that just wasn't happening. I had already gotten in to trouble kissing one guy who wasn't my boyfriend. Rose Hathaway is smart, I don't make the same mistake twice. She giggled.

"Just kidding." She said. I rolled my eyes.

"I saw this really nice watch last time I was in here, and I remember hearing him say his watch batteries were about to go dead." I said.

"That'd be a good present." She said. I nodded. It wasn't cheap, getting Adrian the watch, but I know he deserved it. The boy had done so much for me. Yeah, he was a pain in my ass a lot, but he was there for me when I was at my lowest, and there to annoy me when I was at my highest. I paid for it, and walked out. As we walked, I noticed Liss avoided talking about the Dimitri subject, even though I knew she knew. If Christian knew, she knew, and if she knew, Christian knew.

"What did you get Tasha?" I asked.

"I haven't gotten her anything yet." She said.

"Dammit Liss." I said. She grinned.

"What did you get Christian?" She asked.

"Nothing yet." I said. She smiled.

"I was hoping you could help me on that one." I said. She nodded.

"I can do that." She said.

"What does fire boy like?" I asked. "Besides fire. I can't buy that for him. Plus, he already has it." She laughed.

"I want to be a smartass, and get him something with flames on it." I said. She giggled again.

"You and him make me laugh." She said. I nodded.

"That's definitely our motive." I said. Finally, I saw it. In one of the stores there was a t-shirt with flames all over it, and in big blue letters it said _If you think I'm hott, you should see my girlfriend. _I knew it was perfect, and I had to get it. When Liss wasn't paying attention, and I went and paid for it, hiding it inside of my bag with Adrian's watch.

"Now, who else?" Liss asked.

"I have to buy for Tasha." I said.

"What about Dimitri?" She asked. I shook my head.

"I'd rather not." I said.

"You have to give him something. I'm sure he got you something." She said.

"Liss… No." I said, looking down at me feet. She nodded.

"Okay." She pulled my chin to meet her gaze. "I understand." She said. I nodded. The thing was… she didn't. I knew she didn't, but I let her believe she did. We continued on through the mall, searching for the perfect gifts for people. Tasha was difficult. Finally, Liss and I stumbled upon this adorable outfit that was a white jacket, with a black tank-top, and a pair of light colored jeans. I bought the tops and Liss bought the bottoms. We would put it all together and just write from Liss and Rose on it.

"What did you get Sebastian?" She asked, as we walked to the food court to get something to eat.

"I got him a new holder for his stake. His was getting pretty ragged, and his other gift is kind of a secret." I said.

"Come on. Tell me, I wont tell anyone." She said.

"Except Christian." I said. She frowned.

"Fine. I wont even tell him." She pouted.

"Swear?" I asked. She nodded.

"I swear on your shadow-kissed life." She said. I rolled my eyes. "He has this chain he wears around his neck and tucked inside his shirt all the time. When I was here the other day I found this box and inside was a key. It was all rickety looking, but on the top part, there is a heart carved into it, and inscribed on it are the words I'm yours. I thought it was adorable. It's the key to my heart, so I got it, thinking he could put it on his necklace and he'd always have a piece of me." I said. She grinned.

"THAT IS SO CUTE!" She said. I smiled.

"Glad you like it." I said. She nodded. We started eating, when I noticed she kept looking at me. I knew what she was waiting on. She wanted me to bring up what happened.

"Oh, will you just ask already. I know its killing you." I said. She smiled.

"What happened yesterday?" She asked.

"Dimitri and me kissed, and Sebastian saw." I said. She looked worried.

"Did you kiss Dimitri back?" She asked. I sighed, and nodded.

"I did, but I didn't want to. I don't know what happened. Sebastian walked in, and saw." I said.

"What did he say?" She asked.

"He was really upset. He had every right to be. I talked to him, and we're okay now, but I know he doesn't trust Dimitri around me anymore. I don't blame him. It was a moment of weakness, and I really don't know what happened, but… I can't take it back.. No matter how much I wish I could." I said.

"Did it bring back-" I cut her off.

"Memories? God, yes… but they are memories I don't want. Memories I'm trying hard to forget. I don't want him anymore. Sebastian is where my heart is, whether Dimitri believes me or not." I said.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Dimitri thinks I'm using Sebastian to try to make me forget about him. He's right, but along with that I've fallen in love with Sebastian. I really want him, and I'm not going to lose him. I gave him everything, and I'm not going to take it back because Dimitri finally figured out what he wanted." I said. She nodded.

"That's good." She said. I nodded. As we dumped our trays, my phone rang.

"Adrian?" I asked.

"Rose, you need to get back, NOW. We have a problem." He said. _Fucking Shit._

"Liss, we've got to go." I said, grabbing her hand, and running towards the door of the mall, bag in hand and to the van. I cranked the van, threw it in reverse, and hauled ass back towards the house.


	25. Don't Trust Me!

I was speeding like crazy, and was really surprised I didn't get pulled over by a cop.

"Rose, what's going on?" Liss asked. She was worried.

"I told Adrian if anything happened, to call me. I meant like between Sebastian and Dimitri. He just called and said I needed to come home. I can't have them beating the shit out of each other." When we pulled into the yard, Dimitri and Sebastian were standing out in front of the house, yelling in each others face. Adrian was there, looking pretty scared actually. I could see he was yelling, trying to make them stop. When the van came to a stop, I put it in park, turned it off, and jumped out. I started jogging over to where they were. I didn't get there in time though. I didn't hear what Sebastian said, but I did hear my name tacked onto the end of it. With that, Dimitri reached up, and shoved Sebastian back. He only stumbled a foot or so back before he made his move. I tried to run in between them, but didn't make it before Sebastian's punch connected to Dimitri's jaw. I ran in between them and put a hand on both of their chests before Dimitri could stage his next move.

"Hey, Hey, Hey." I said, turning to make sure Dimitri didn't get anywhere near Sebastian. He was looking at me now, meeting my eyes.

"What the fuck do you two think your doing?" I asked. I turned to look at Sebastian. "What did I say to you before I left? You promised."

"Its not my fault the little prick likes to start shit." Sebastian said, glaring at Dimitri. Dimitri started towards us.

"I'll show you prick." Dimitri said. I put a hand out towards him.

"Don't even think about it." I said, turning my glare on him. "I will break your jaw again and not think twice about it." I pushed Sebastian a few steps back, so he wasn't as close.

"Now.. What happened?" I asked, turning to Adrian. Sebastian started to speak but I turned to him.

"Shut up. I wasn't speaking to you." I said. He gave me a strange look. I turned back to Adrian. He looked between Sebastian and Dimitri, and then looked back at me a little afraid.

"Remember what I told you before I left? I meant it." I said. He nodded.

"Sebastian came down to the kitchen for something and Dimitri was in there, and Dimitri fired something smart off about you, and what happened yesterday, and it set him off." Adrian explained. I turned to Dimitri.

"So you started it?" I asked, stepping closer to him. I pushed him and he stumbled back a few feet.

"Yeah, he did." Sebastian said. I turned my head and jabbed a finger in his direction.

"I don't want to hear shit from you right now. I'm still mad at you. You promised." I snapped.

"But he started it." Sebastian said.

"Listen to you, Jesus Christ, you sound like your five years old. You promised, and you did it anyway. I don't give a shit who started it. You still didn't walk away like you should have." I said. I then turned back to Dimitri.

"But you. You're twenty-four years old. Six years older than me, and two years older than him, and yet, your playing games like a child. You always chastised me for acting young, and being young, but look at what your doing, listen to yourself, playing petty games and fighting over me like you're a bunch of teenagers." I said. He looked upset.

"Rose, I-" I cut him off.

"No. You shut up and listen. I'm going to set this straight one last time for you, since you don't seem to get it. I. Don't. Want. You. Period, point, blank. If I wanted you, I would be with you. I would have left Sebastian yesterday when you kissed me, but I didn't. There will never be anything more between us. Ever. Everything me and you had, you threw down the drain when you walked away from me. You wanted Tasha, you got her. Its not my fault she wasn't really what you wanted. There isn't anything left between you and me, everything that I once felt for you is gone. Love fades, and mine has. I've given up on you. I love him." I said, stabbing my finger back toward Sebastian. "Yeah, I'm pretty pissed at him right now, but that's irrelevant. He's my future, he's where my heart is at. He's all I want. Its only him. I don't know what it is I need to do to get that through your thick, Russian skull, but its true alright. You hurt me, Dimitri. You tore my heart into little bitty pieces and stomped it into the ground. I told you the night you left that I would have a damn good life without you, and I'd be the best damn guardian there was, and you know what? I wasn't lying. I meant every damn word. I'm proving it now. Sebastian is who I'm with, and who I'm going to be with. Even if I wasn't with him, I damn sure wouldn't be running back to you. So, I hope you really understand now that there is no more us. There is nothing. So, stop trying so damn hard, and move on." I finished, and had to take a deep breath. I watched as his brown eyes filled with nothing but pain, agony, and sorrow. He blinked once, and a tear rolled down his cheek. He turned and walked inside, slamming the door hard behind him. I heard something break as he walked through the house. Liss, Adrian, and Sebastian stared at the door, but my eyes were on Sebastian.

"Liss, Adrian, would you mind?" I asked, breaking them out of their trance. They nodded.

"No, we'll go." They said, and walked inside. Adrian looked scared to go in without me. Sebastian's eyes were now on my face. I was not in a good mood any more. Once the door closed behind them, Sebastian sighed.

"Rose, look-" I cut him off too, not wanting to hear it.

"No, you look. You promised me. You promised I could leave you here, and not have to worry about you and him. Instead, you did the exact opposite." I said.

"I was sticking up for you." He said. As sweet as it was, it wasn't necessary.

"I don't need you to stick up for me, I can take care of myself. I don't care what he has to say about me, or you, or anyone. His opinion doesn't matter. What does matter is that you let him get under your skin, and started a fight with him even after you promised me you wouldn't." I said.

"Rose, I'm sorry. I just… He just set me off."

"I trusted you." I said. An anger flashed through his eyes then.

"I know we're not getting into the argument of trust. Do you remember what you did last night?" He asked. I flinched. That was a low blow and he knew it.

"Really? You going to seriously throw that in my face. Are we really going to play these games right now?" I asked. "You said you understood. Maybe I thought more highly of you than you deserve." Pain flooded through his eyes.

"Rose, I didn't mean to get into a fight with the guy. I didn't want that to happen." He said. I shook my head and turned to go into the house.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"Going to get my things and move down the hall into the empty room, seeing as how I can't be trusted." I said.

"Awe, come on Rosa, you know I didn't mean that." He said. I turned to look at him.

"Then what would make you say it? You know how bad I felt about what I did, and yet, you toss it back in my face when you know you did wrong to make it seem like what you did wasn't so bad. When you start acting you're age, and when you 'trust me', I'll move back into your room." I snapped.

"I trust you now." He said.

"Not from the sounds of it." I said, slamming the door behind me. I walked upstairs, and into our room. I grabbed my things and started moving it down the hall. When I started to walk back out, Sebastian was at the door. Tears were running steadily down my face now.

"Rose, don't do this. Can we talk about this?" He asked.

"You said it all. Nothing more to say." I said, trying to walk out the door. He stepped in front of me, blocking my way.

"Move." I growled.

"Please, don't do this. We have to talk about this." He said. I shook my head.

"Like I said, there is nothing more to say. You made it clear you can't trust me. If you can't trust me, there's no point in being in here." I said, knocking him out of my way with my shoulder.

"I trust you with my life." He said.

"Now your lying." I snapped.

"I'm not and you know it." He said. "Your over-reacting." I stopped, and just stared at him.

"Fuck you." I said. I grabbed the last of my bags, and took them down the hallway to the spare room. Before he could speak again, I slammed the door, and locked it right in his face. I pressed my back against the door, sliding down to the floor, and crying. I didn't want all this to happen. I didn't ask for any of this. I didn't want it. I just wanted to come here, get this trip over, and leave. I didn't plan on it ruining Sebastian and my relationship in the process. I wasn't sure how long I'd sat there crying. It had to have been awhile, because finally my tear ducts dried up, and there was nothing left. I finally slipped into Lissa's head to see her and Christian in Adrian's room playing board games. When she walked out, I wasn't prepared for what I saw. When she looked down the hall, right outside my door, Sebastian laid there, passed out asleep. She could see the tears dried onto his face. She walked over to him."Sebastian?" She whispered. He sat up.

"What?" He asked.

"Go to your room. Get some sleep honey." She said. He shook his head, and sat up, laying his back, back up against my door.

"No. I'm staying here." He said. She stared at him for a second, but nodded. She was debating on compelling him to go to his room, but she didn't. She just walked away, and into her room. I slipped back into my own head, and sighed. I'd fucked everything up, and I didn't know if I'd ever be able to fix it. _Fuck!_


	26. Home, to the place I belong!

I woke up the next morning, passed out on the floor. I sat up, and looked around to see I wasn't in my room. I then realized I was in the room down the hall. Then, like a ton of bricks, last nights events came back to me. The shopping trip, the call, the fight between Sebastian and Dimitri, then Dimitri and I, and then me and Sebastian. I sighed. I'd sincerely hoped that that was all just a really bad dream, but it wasn't. It was my reality. I sat there for a second, staring around the room. This wasn't where I wanted to wake up. I wanted to wake up in Sebastian's strong arms, to him pressing kisses to my neck. I shook my head. I felt like I wanted to cry, and I thought I might, but nothing happened. My tears ducts took enough abuse last night. I turned back to the door, wondering if Sebastian was still on the other side of it. I wanted to open it and see, but I couldn't face him right now, even if I wanted too. I slowly picked myself up off the floor, and stood up. My head was pounding as I stumbled across the room to my bag. I grabbed some aspirin, and went into the bathroom, for a glass of water. After I took them, I looked up into the mirror to see a face that didn't even look familiar. It looked nothing like me. My face looked so wrong, so contorted from the pain that had both been inflicted on me, and inflicted by me. My eyes had a haunted look in them. I went back out, and grabbed a pair of clothes before jumping into the shower. I was hoping a long hot shower would make me feel better, but as I stepped out and got dressed, I felt exactly the same. As I looked in the mirror, I still looked exactly the same. I did a little make-up, hoping to hide the dark circles under my eyes, showing how much sleep I'd actually gotten last night. I threw my hair up in a bun, and walked out of the bathroom. I threw my dirty clothes back in my bag, and sat down on the edge of the bed. I stared at the door, debating on staying locked in here, until someone came and knocked to check on me. Instead, I stood up, and walked to the door, grabbed the door handle. I took a deep breath, and slowly opened it. He was gone. In my mind, I was relieved but my heard really wanted him to still be here. I sighed, and walked out of my room, and towards the stairs. I was careful not to look towards Sebastian's bedroom door, afraid I'd go busting inside, and apologize, and beg and grovel for his forgiveness. I walked downstairs, and to the coffee pot. I grabbed a cup of coffee, and added some sugar, and started back upstairs. When I got half-way upstairs, I happened to look up to see Sebastian standing at the top of them. He looked… bad. He looked about like I did. Eyes haunted, and distant looking, with dark circles around them. I quickly averted my gaze to the cup in my hand. I walked up the stairs, and right past him. I walked back to my room, going inside, and shutting the door quietly behind me. I took a deep breath once inside. I had every intention of fixing this, I just didn't know how. I sat down on my bed with my cup of coffee, and that's where I stayed. I sat in there, all by myself for the longest time until someone knocked on my door.

"Who is it?" I asked.

"Your secret lover, little dhampir." Adrian said. I smiled.

"Come in." I said. He opened the door, and grinned.

"I've come to serenade you my sweet lady." He said, amusement in his voice.

"I'm sure." I muttered. He walked over, and sat down on the bed across from me.

"What's going on? You, Sebastian, or Dimitri haven't come out of your rooms all day, and your staying in a separate room than Sebastian. What happened?" He asked.

"Sebastian and I got into a fight, and… he said some stuff, and I grabbed my stuff and moved in here." I said.

"You know he passed out in front of your door last night, right?" He asked. I nodded.

"I know." I said. A tear leaked down my cheek.

"Awe, Rose. Don't cry." He said, catching my tear with his finger. I sighed.

"I didn't want to mess things up this way." I said.

"It wasn't your fault." He said. I nodded.

"It was. I kissed Dimitri. I started this. Its all my fault. I didn't want all this to happen. I knew coming here was a mistake." I said.

"Remember who talked you into coming here though." He said. I nodded.

"It doesn't matter, Adrian. I screwed this up. I love him, and… I messed everything up." I said. The realization of what I'd done was finally hitting me now.

"Have you tried talking to him?" He asked.

"I don't know what to say to him." I whispered.

"You can't fix it if you don't talk to him." He said. I nodded.

"I know. I want to fix it, I just… I'm scared. What if he doesn't want too?" I asked. He chuckled, and shook his head.

"Have you seen him this morning? He looks like absolute hell. He will want to fix it." He said. I nodded.

"I'll try." I whispered. He smiled, and leaned forward, pressing his lips to my forehead.

"You'll figure it out." He said. "You always do." He got up, and walked out, closing the door behind him. I laid in my bed, staring at the ceiling. Suddenly, the walls felt like they were closing in around me. I jumped up, and clutched my chest, trying to catch my breath. I couldn't stay inside anymore, so I grabbed my stake, and headed downstairs, going outside. I walked out the front door, into the cool night air. It felt so good on my face. I walked for a while, just loving the way the cool, crisp air felt on my skin. I wasn't sure how long I'd been outside, but after a while, I just stopped, staring up at the starry sky. I heard footsteps behind me, but didn't bother turning. I had a pretty good idea of who it was. He stopped right next to me, and gazed up.

"Beautiful night." He said, voice soft, trying to make easy conversation.

"It is." I murmured. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye to see his eyes on me now.

"Can we talk?" He asked.

"I thought that's what we were doing." I said, giving him a funny look. He cracked a smile, which was like a gift from Heaven after seeing his face this morning.

"Touché." He said. I smiled, and met his eyes.

"Rose, I'm-" I cut him off, by shaking my head.

"I go first." I said. He nodded.

"Sebastian, I'm so sorry. You have no idea just how sorry I truly am. This was all my fault, and I know that. I took it out on you because, I didn't want to have to take the blame for everything. This is my fault. I kissed him, I started this. He started stuff with you because of me. I started stuff with you, because of me. I'm sorry I said the things I did. I didn't mean them. I don't blame you if you don't forgive me, I honestly don't, but I really want you to know how truly sorry I am. For everything." I said. He looked down at his feet.

"Can I talk now?" He asked. I nodded.

"Rosa, I said some pretty mean things last night. You were right. What I said made it sound like I don't trust you, but God… I do. Rosa, I trust you with everything. My life, my heart, my soul, everything. I trust you fully and completely. I didn't mean anything I said. I love you Rose. I love you so much. I'm not going to let him, or anything come between us. You're all I want. Its only you." He said. He was breathing hard when he finished, because he'd said all of it in one breath. I grinned.

"Your sure I'm what you want? After everything I did? After how horrible I've been to you?" I said. He smiled.

"If I don't accept you at your worst, how can I deserve you at your best?" He asked. He stepped towards me and took my hand in his. He brought my hand to his lips, and kissed it.

"Trust me, your best makes going through the worst with you all worth while." He said. I smiled, and stepped closer to him, bringing us only a few inches apart.

"I'm so in love with you." I whispered. He smiled.

"And I'm even more in love with you." He murmured, giving me one of his sexy smirks. His blue eyes gleamed, as he leaned in and pressed the sweetest, most passionate kiss to my lips.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." He murmured.

"Your life wouldn't be nearly as amazing." I said, smirking. He chuckled.

"Your probably right." He said.

"Would you like to come back to our room?" He asked, putting an emphasis on the 'our' part. I nodded.

"I would absolutely love that." I murmured. He nodded, and intertwined our fingers, and we headed back towards the house. When we walked inside, we headed straight for the stairs. He dragged me up them, and into the bedroom, slamming the door, and locking it behind me. He dragged me over to the bed, and pulled me into it.

"You have no idea what sleeping without you was like." He said.

"Actually, we didn't really sleep apart." I said. He raised an eyebrow.

"You were outside my door, sleeping. I fell asleep right on the other side of the door, on the floor." I said. He chuckled.

"Your right." He said. I smiled.

"Still. I prefer this much more." I said, running a hand down his chest. He nodded.

"Me too." He whispered, bringing his mouth to mine. I knew I wasn't home, but with him, I felt like I was home, like this was exactly where I belonged. I laid my head on his chest, and fell asleep to the lullaby of his heartbeat.


	27. Finally,

I woke the next morning, still wrapped in Sebastian's arms. I was in bliss here, and didn't want to move.

"Merry Christmas Eve." He said. I grinned.

"Merry Christmas Eve to you too." I said. I looked up at him, and pressed my lips to his.

"Sleep good?" He asked.

"God, you have no idea. After sleeping on a hard wood floor, hell yeah." I said. He chuckled and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"We should get up." He said. I shook my head, and tightened my arms around him.

"No. I want to stay right here, and sleep forever." I whispered. He chuckled.

"As much as I'd love to lay right here with you forever, we do need to get up. We've kind of been strangers to every one else these past two days." He said. I nodded. I rolled out of bed, and brushed my hair before following him downstairs. Everyone was in the family room. Everyone except one person.

"Goodmorning." Every one sang.

"Morning guys." Sebastian and I said. I noticed that Dimitri was missing.

"Where's Dimitri?" I asked. Tasha motioned to his room.

"He hasn't came out in two days." She said. "He came out once to get something to eat, but we haven't seen him since." I just stared at the door. I turned back to Sebastian who met my eyes for a second. I saw realization flash through his features. He knew what I was going to do. His body stiffened, and his hand tightened around mine.

"Its Christmas time. I can't leave things like this." I mouthed. He sat there for a second, gazing into my eyes. "You can trust me." I whispered. He nodded.

"I trust you. Go. Fix it." He said. I could tell the words were hard for him to say. I smiled. I leaned forward and kissed him.

"Thank you." I said. He nodded. I got up, and walked down the hallway towards Dimitri's door. I took a deep breath, and knocked.

"Go away." came from the other side of the door. It didn't sound like Dimitri. His voice sounded all wrong.

"Dimitri, it's Rose. Open the door." I said.

"Go away, Rose." He said. _Ouch. _I sighed.

"Alright… Well, I hope your dressed, because I'm coming in, whether you like it or not." I said. I opened the door, and stepped inside to see Dimitri sitting in a chair, with one of his western novels in his hand. He looked up at me once, but his features twisted into a painful expression, and he looked back down at the book.

"Dimitri, what are you doing in here?" I asked. He said nothing.

"You need to come outside, and mingle." I said. Still nothing. I nodded. He wanted to play hardball, I was definitely game. I walked over to him, and snatched the book right out of his hands, snapped it shut, and threw it on the ground.

"Will you listen to me?" I snapped.

"Why, Rose? Why listen? You've made it perfectly clear how you feel. You've made it perfectly clear that you don't give two shits about me, so why are you in here right now?" He demanded. I just stared at him. There was so much pain on his face. It was hard to look at him.

"Your wrong. I told you I didn't love you, not that I didn't care about you. If I didn't care about you, I damn sure wouldn't be in here arguing with you right now." I snapped.

"Your lying. You don't care, Rose." He said. I met his eyes.

"Your wrong. Don't you dare tell me what I'm feeling." I growled. He just stared at me.

"Why are you in here?" He asked.

"Because its Christmas time. Its time to spend time with the people who care about you. You can't do that cooped up in here with your dumb cowboy books." I said. I saw a hint of a smile. He was probably remembering back to when I used to make fun of him for reading these. Those were much happier times.

"I don't want to be out there." He said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because your out there with… with him." He said 'him' like it was a dirty word.

"Dimitri, if you want me to leave… I will. I'll pack all my shit, round up my moroi, and head home." I said.

"I don't want you to leave, you just… you just don't understand how hard it is knowing I've been replaced." He said. I met his eyes.

"I told you when you left. Its not my fault you choose not to believe me." I said. He shook his head.

"I'm sorry I left, I don't know how many times I have to say it." He said.

"Dimitri, apologizing doesn't make it better." I said. He nodded.

"I know." He said.

"I'm with him. You have to accept that. I thought you would be happy for me." I said. He frowned.

"Its hard to be happy when… that's supposed to be me." He said.

"That would have been you… if you didn't leave." I said. "What were you expecting when you knew I was coming? Were you expecting me to go running into your arms, and forgive everything you ever did, and be with you again?" I asked.

"A guy can hope, can't he?" He asked. I sighed.

"Dimitri, that would have never happened, even if I wasn't with him." I said. He frowned and nodded.

"I'm asking you to stop barricading yourself in here, and come outside. Its Christmas Eve." I said.

"It's hard, Roza. You don't understand the pain." He said.

"You think I don't understand the pain, when I've been going through it for over two months now without you?" I asked.

"You don't understand what its like, seeing the one you love… love someone else." He said.

"I do. I watched you and Tasha at the ski lodge before you guys left." I said.

"That wasn't love, Rose." He said.

"Well, you had me fooled." I said. He frowned, and looked down.

"Have you slept with him, Rose?" He asked.

"That's personal. I don't feel comfortable answering that." I said.

"Answer the question." He said.

"Yeah, I have." I said. The most pained expression crossed his face.

"I always hoped I'd be your first, back at the Academy." He said. I nodded."Especially after the lust spell." He said. My body tensed up. I didn't like remembering things like that.

"Dimitri, will you please… come out of here. I want you to spend Christmas with us." I said. He shook his head.

"Alright. You know what? I'm done. I'm not going to try and help you when you don't want to be helped. You sit right here, and spend the holidays alone. If that's what you want… fine. If wallowing in your own self pity is how you like to spend your Christmas, go for it." I said, knowing that was my hook line and sinker. I turned around, and walked out… going back into the family room. All eyes were on me.

"Everything okay?" Sebastian asked, eyes intent on my face. I nodded.

"He's not-" I cut myself off when I heard the door close down the hall, and looked up to see Dimitri standing in the hallway. He smiled a little.

"Merry Christmas Eve." He said, eyes on my face. I smiled. I could still see the pain in his eyes, but it was hidden very well. I was almost positive no one else noticed. He went and got a cup of coffee, and sat down next to Liss. We all immersed ourselves in conversation, talking about random things. We finally decided we were going to go out for dinner. We all went to start getting ready. I asked Tasha where we were going so I knew how to dress.

"There's a nice little restaurant in town. Its pretty fancy." She said. I nodded.

"Okay." I said. I went upstairs, and grabbed my bags, carrying them back into Sebastian and my room. I grabbed my dress, and slipped it on. I took the curling iron to my hair, letting my hair fall in ringlets all around my face. I did my make-up dark, to accent the blood red dress I was wearing. When I was done, I looked in the long guilt frame mirror. The dressed hugged me in all the right places. I grabbed my heels and slid them on, and laced them up my legs before walking out. Sebastian turned as he rolled the cuff on his white button up shirt. I watched as so many emotions crossed his face.

"Whoa." He said. I raised an eyebrow.

"What?" I asked.

"You look… amazing." He said. I gave him my best man-eater smile.

"Thanks." I said. I walked over to him, and helped him button his shirt.

"You look pretty hot yourself." I said, pressing my lips to his. He chuckled.

"I'm going to go downstairs and see if everyone else is ready. Hurry up hot stuff." I said, smiling at him before turning around and walking out. Adrian was coming down the hall as I stepped outside.

"Rose." He said. I nodded.

"That's me." He chuckled.

"You look… amazing." He said. I smiled.

"Thanks." I said. I pirouetted a little for him. He smiled.

"That dress is dangerous." He said. I gave him a look.

"Why?" I asked. He smiled.

"It's the color of blood, and you know how us vampires are." He said, stepping towards me. I laughed.

"Don't think I wont hurt you. Hands off." I said. He smiled.

"That's not fair. How can you look like that, and expect me not too-" He was cut off by Sebastian opening our bedroom door. Adrian stepped back. I laughed. I walked downstairs, and turned to find Liss smiling at me.

"God, Rose. Beautiful much?" She asked. I shrugged.

"It's a habit." I said. She smiled. I looked behind her, to see Dimitri come into my sight. I watched a hundred emotions play across his face. Love, hurt, amazement, and a million other things.

"Rose, you look… amazing." He said. I smiled.

"Thanks. So do you." I said. Sebastian walked around us, and into the guest room with Christian and Adrian. Tasha finally came out, and we all piled into the vans, heading out for a Christmas eve dinner.

**A/N: Okay guys, for now… I seriously hope your enjoying… but this story is on pause. I'm sure you know why. LAST SACRIFICE CAME OUT. I have to read it, and I can't read it and write at the same time. It will throw me off. I promise, two or three days tops will be all. I'm sorry, but I will be back to finish.**

**-April **


	28. Forgetting To Forget About You!

The ride to the restaurant was pretty silent except for the radio. Dimitri was driving so, he had it on some old country station. He killed me with his music choice. It was nice to see that part of him hadn't changed a bit.

"Comrade, I'm pretty positive you can find something better on the radio." I said, breaking the silence, and hoping to lighten the mood a little.

"I wouldn't count on it." He said, smiling in the rear view mirror. I groaned.

"Can't you at least find something that came out after I was born." I said. He chuckled.

"Sure." He said, switching it to a more modern country station. I groaned.

"I'm not even going to try." I said, smiling up at him. He smiled at me I the rearview mirror.

"I remember you used to argue with me all the time about music when I was back at St. Vladimir's." He said. I snorted.

"Nice to see your choice in music hasn't gotten any better though." I said, laughing. He chuckled.

"Whatever." He said. I could see it was sort of making Sebastian uncomfortable seeing Dimitri and I reminiscing and talking about the past. I squeezed his hand, and smiled. I smiled at Sebastian, and when I looked back up into the mirror, Dimitri had that same look of pain, anguish that he'd had almost since I'd gotten here. I smiled a little, but it didn't change. He slipped his guardian mask on, blocking me out, hiding all of his emotions from me. I just kept my eyes on the back of his seat, not daring to look up and meet his eyes again. When we arrived at the restaurant, we all went in and sat down. Everyone ordered some kind of alcoholic beverage except Liss, fire boy and me. Of course I would have loved one, but I was still on duty. Sebastian leaned over, and smiled.

"I'll share mine with you when no one's looking." He murmured. I chuckled. The waitress brought back the drinks, and set then down in front of each of us. I noticed she was eyeing Dimitri, Adrian, and Sebastian a lot. All I kept thinking was 'God, could you make yourself any more obvious.'. She was human though, and they all knew better.

"Slut." I muttered as she walked away. Liss slapped me.

"Rose!" Liss exclaimed. I giggled.

"Did you see the way she was looking at the guys, Jesus Christ. She was undressing each and everyone of them with her eyes." I said. Liss shook her head.

"I don't mind. She's hott." He said. I rolled my eyes at Adrian.

"She's human." I said. He chuckled.

"Like that would stop me. They taste better." He said. I snorted.

"I'm pretty sure you… of all people know that's a lie." I said, his face turning a little red. I'd heard some of the stuff Adrian had done, some he'd told me about. I knew what he thought of dhampir blood, and what he was saying was the complete opposite. I smiled at him, and winked. He looked down at his class of wine. I sighed. I glance down the table to see his eyes on me. I'd felt his eyes on me, but he was really staring. I felt Sebastian twitch uncomfortably next to me in his chair. I turned to look at him to see he did notice, and that was why.

"Don't bother. Just leave it be." I said. He sighed, and nodded. He laid his hand on my thigh under the table. I attempted to raise on eyebrow at him. He smiled, and leaned forward to kiss me. I kissed back, but pulled away quickly, knowing why he was doing it. He frowned, but I just smiled my best man eater smile, and he forgot all about it. When no one was looking, I did take a few drinks of his wine, but only enough to make me feel good, not enough to get me drunk. Our food came, and we all ate, chatting up and down the table. Staring down the table at Dimitri, I realized what I was going to do for him. What I felt I had to do for him. We were leaving the day after New Years, and I couldn't leave things the way they were now. I could look into his eyes, and almost feel his pain. In this moment, I realized what I was going to do. I'd need the help of a moroi to get it done, but I'd talk one of them into it. From experience, I knew Christian sucked at compulsion, and I wasn't sure how great Adrian was. I knew Liss could pull it off, but whether she would help me do this or not was a completely different thing. I would find a way though, and that I was positive of.

"Rose, you alright?" Sebastian asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, sorry. I zoned out a little." I said. He raised an eyebrow at me, but I shook my head. I knew I couldn't tell him or anyone else what I was planning until the time was right. We paid for dinner, and started back outside to the van. My stomach stirred, and I laid my hand over my stomach. I heard footsteps behind us, and turned to stare into the red-rimmed eyes of a strigoi.

"Shit." I muttered. "Take the moroi, and RUN!" I screamed back, running straight for the strigoi, stake in hand. He swung at me, but I ducked under his fist. I struck out with a kick, causing him to falter for a second which was all I really needed. I struck out with a few of the moves Sebastian had taught me, and some of the one's Dimitri had taught me, in which he'd shown me how to perfect, and with that, I knocked him to the ground, and shoved my stake into his heart. I worked the stake around his ribs, pushing as hard as I could until I felt my stake connect. I stood up, realizing I'd done all this in a short dress. It was a very good thing I'd been smart enough to put shorts on under it. I looked around to see no humans, but I heard more footsteps coming at me fast. I pulled my stake out of him, and turned to face who ever was coming. It was Sebastian. He stared at the body on the ground and then me.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I was out of breath, so I just nodded. He walked over to me, and touched my arm.

"Are you sure?" He asked. I nodded, and was finally able to find my voice.

"I'm fine, Sebastian." I said. He nodded. He helped me drag the body off into the woods, and we walked back to the van. Dimitri was pacing outside.

"Rose, are you okay?" He asked. I smiled.

"I'm fine… I promise." I said. He nodded. Dimitri, Sebastian, and I got into the van. The moroi all looked terrified.

"Rose, are you okay?" Liss asked. I sighed.

"For the hundredth time, yes. I'm perfectly fine. He didn't even leave a scratch." I said. Sebastian touched my arm.

"That's not true." He said. I looked down to see there was a rip in the side of my dress, and there was a small line of blood on my side. I cussed.

"Shit man, and I loved this dress." I said.

"Me too." Sebastian said, smiling.

"Me three." Adrian said. Sebastian looked up and gave him a look.

"I was just saying." He said. "You want me to heal it, Rose?" I shook my head.

"Its just a scratch. I'm fine." I said. He sighed, and nodded.

"Fine." He said. We arrived back at Tasha's and we all got out of the van, and headed inside. I went upstairs, and stripped my ripped dress. Sebastian went to get a shower, while I slipped on a sports bra, and a pair of sweat pants. I was staring down at the scratch on my side. It actually hurt a lot more than I was going to admit. I walked downstairs, looking for Tasha, but I found Dimitri. His eyes met mine, but I could tell he was having a hard time keeping his eyes there.

"Do you guys have… like alcohol, and band-aids?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yeah, I'll get them." He said, blinking hard once. I grabbed a glass of water, and sat on the counter. He came back around the corner, with a bottle, a rag, and a box of band-aids. He sat them on the counter.

"Thanks." I said, starting to grab them. He shook his head.

"I'll take care of it." I said. He sighed.

"Rose, let me do this." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine." I said. He wet the rag with alcohol, and looked at me.

"Brace yourself." He said.

"I fight strigoi for a living. Will you just do this?" I asked. He chuckled.

"Alright." He said. He laid the rag gently on my side. It stung, yes… but I didn't flinch, or make any kind of noise. I ground my teeth together, and took it like the woman I was. He was watching my face, probably waiting for a reaction. The only thing I was really reacting to in this moment was the feel of his fingers on my bare skin. For a moment, I was taken back. He picked up a tube, and put some kind of medicine on it, and blew it a little. I heard someone come down the stairs, and turned to see Sebastian. Dimitri opened the large band-aid and made sure the medicine had dried in good before pressing the band-aid to my skin. He added a little pressure to make sure it was stuck, and met my eyes.

"All better." He said, letting his fingers slide off my side.

"Thanks." I said, smiling. I turned to Sebastian.

"You okay?" He asked.

"By God, if I had a dollar every time someone asked me that, I'd be rich. I'm fine." I said. He smiled.

"Sorry." He said. I smiled back at him, and hopped off the counter. He pulled me into a hug.

"That's two molnija marks you'll be getting when you get back?" He asked. I grinned.

"Yes sir." I said. I turned to Dimitri.

"I'm catching up with you, comrade." I said. He shrugged.

"I told you before you'd have more than me one day." He said. I nodded.

"Your right, you did." I said. He shrugged.

"I'm going to go to bed. See you in the morning." He said. I smiled and nodded.

"Goodnight Dimitri." I said. Dimitri looked at Sebastian, and extended his hand. I could see how much effort it took for Sebastian not to slap it away, and tell him to go to hell. He shook his hand and Dimitri went to his room. I smiled at Sebastian.

"I'm proud of you." I said. He grinned.

"I love you." He said, bringing my mouth to his.

"I love you too." I murmured, when my lips were free. He smiled. I looked at the clock to see it was midnight. I smiled at him.

"Merry Christmas." I said. He raised an eyebrow, and looked at the clock behind him.

"Merry Christmas." He said back. He took my hand.

"Come on, lets go get some sleep." He said. I nodded, and we both went upstairs. We both curled up in bed, as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Our first Christmas together." He whispered in my ear. I grinned.

"Mhmm. I imagined it a little more like, you and me curled up in my bed, in my dorm, but… this is fine too." He shook his head at me.

"I'd rather be at home." He said. I nodded.

"Me too." I whispered. He smiled. I kissed him, and laid my head against his chest.

"Goodnight." I whispered.

"Night." He said. I then closed my eyes, and fell asleep. Christmas morning was tomorrow, then it was only five days to go, and we'd be at home. The only thing going through my mind was planning for what I was going to do before I left. So much to think about, and time was running out, and the biggest thing of all was, did I really want him to forget?


	29. Merry Christmas Darling,

I woke up the next morning to Sebastian nuzzling his face into my hair. I smiled.

"Good morning." I said.

"Merry Christmas." He said. I grinned.

"Merry Christmas to you too." I whispered, turning to look at him. He pressed a sweet kiss to my lips.

"It's a very merry Christmas." I said. He grinned. We both got up, and got dressed a little bit. I noticed my side was still hurting a lot, so I didn't want to put a shirt on. I slipped another sports bra, and training pants on and we went downstairs. Everyone was already sitting around the living room.

"Merry Christmas." They all sang. Me and Sebastian chuckled.

"Merry Christmas guys." We both said. I could tell Liss and Tasha were bouncing up and down, ready to give out their presents.

"Are you-?" Liss just nodded.

"Okay. I'll be back." I said, going to get the things I'd bought and very sloppily wrapped for them. They all handed out gifts and I came back to hand out mine. Liss gave me mine first, holding it out to me. In her hands was a little blue beaded bracelet, with a cross hanging off of it. On it was her families emblem.

"What is this?" I asked. She beamed at me.

"It's a chotki. Its for the Dragomir guardian." She said. "My mother and fathers guardian's wore one."

"Its so pretty. Liss, are you sure? If it belonged to your parents, and their-" She shook her head.

"You're my guardian. Its belongs to you now." She said. I smiled, and wrapped my arms around her neck, and held her.

"Thank you." I said. She nodded.

"You deserve it. You've been here for me, always." She said. I nodded.

"And I always will be." I told her. She grinned. I pulled out Lissa's gift from the bag I brought down. I'd ordered it and it came in a few days before hand.

"This is for you." I said, handing her the necklace. It was sterling silver, and had a charm on it. The charm was a Chinese symbol for spirit. It had a bunch of amethyst stones all in it, making it glow purple.

"Its beautiful." She whispered. I smiled.

"It's the Chinese symbol for spirit. I also asked Adrian what color your aura was when you used spirit, and he said purple, so I found it and had a bunch of amethyst added to it." I said. She grinned down at it.

"Its gorgeous." She said. I smiled.

"I thought you'd like it." I told her.

"Like it? No. Love it? Yes." She said. I grinned, and she hugged me again. I pulled Christian's gift out and handed it to him. He opened the box, and pulled the shirt out. He laughed, which was the response I was looking for.

"Wow Rose. Just what I wanted." He said, still laughing.

"I saw it and thought 'God, this is so Christian.'." I told him. He smiled.

"Thanks Rose." He said. I laughed. He threw me my box, and I took it and opened it. I smiled as I saw it was another t-shirt. I pulled it out and smiled. It was a solid black t-shirt, and in big pink letters, it said: 'I'm a badass, so try me'. I busted out laughing.

"God Christian, you know me so well." I said. He chuckled.

"I know Rose, I know." He said. I smiled, and got up to hug him.

"Thank you." I said. He nodded.

"Thank you too." I told him. He grinned.

"My turn?" Sebastian asked. I smiled.

"If you want." I said, turning to him. He pulled out a stake holder, and handed it to me. Automatically, I kind of panicked, but when he handed it to me, it was heavy.

"Merry Christmas Darling." He said. I smiled. I opened it to see a handle to a stake, but it was colorful, and had a bunch of different patterns on it. I pulled it out to see it was brand new, and beautiful. I saw something inscribed on it. I lifted it to my face to see my name, written in beautiful script letters. I smiled.

"Its gorgeous." I said. He smiled.

"I figured you'd get tired of using my old one, so I got you a brand new one. One that belong to you, and no body else." He said. I grinned.

"Its beautiful. I love it." I said. He smiled.

"I'm glad you like it." He said. I grinned. I reached into the bag, and pulled out the stake holder, and handed it to him. I'd placed the box with the key neatly inside of it. I grinned.

"Yours was getting pretty ragged, I'd noticed. You were going to lose your stake if you aren't careful." I said. He opened it and looked inside. He raised an eyebrow at me, and reached inside, pulling out the box. He looked at it and smiled.

"It's the key to my heart. I just wanted to let you know my heart belongs to you, and no one else." I said. I noticed his face was glowing. He smiled, and opened the box, taking the key out, and smiling. He unclasped his necklace, and put they key on it, and tucked it neatly back into his shirt. I smiled.

"Merry Christmas." I whispered. He smiled. He brought my mouth to his, and kissed me sweetly.

"Thank you." He said. I smiled.

"No, thank you." I whispered. He smiled. Adrian and I exchanged then. It was a long box when he handed it to me.

"Adrian." I warned. He smiled. I opened it to see a long silver and ruby bracelet.

"Adrian…." I said. He chuckled.

"What?" He asked.

"This is too much. I can't accept this." I said.

"What? After everything we've been through, and you've always had my back. You deserved something special from me." He said. I sighed.

"You don't fight fair." I muttered. He smiled.

"Do you like it?" He asked.

"I love it.. But-" He cut me off.

"Don't. I'm not taking it back. Its yours." He said. I sighed.

"Fine." He opened my gift to him, the watch. He smiled.

"I heard you say your watch was going dead, and I didn't want to just buy you watch batteries, so I bought you a new watch. You were here for me, when… I wasn't myself, and needed someone. You deserved something special from me." I said, mimicking his words. He smiled, and wrapped his arms around me. When he pulled away, he kissed my forehead.

"Thank you." He said. I nodded.

"Thank you." I responded. We all exchanged the rest of our gifts, leaving Dimitri and me to be the only one's who hadn't exchanged. He got up, and handed me an envelope.

"Read it when your alone." He said. I nodded.

"I have something for you Dimitri, but its not an object, and you don't get it until right before I leave." I said. All eyes were one me now. They were all curious, and I knew it. Sebastian had no idea, neither did Liss, or Adrian. It was killing them. He nodded.

"Okay." He said. "You didn't have too-" I shook my head.

"I didn't buy you anything. You'll see when the day comes." I told him. He nodded. We cleaned up, and hauled all of our gifts up to our rooms. I went into the bathroom, to freshen up and when I came back out to find Sebastian, toying with the key on his necklace. I smiled, but he didn't look all that happy.

"What?" I asked. He met my eyes.

"Are you sure I'm the one you want to give this too?" He asked. I sighed.

"Sebastian, can we not do this? Its Christmas." I said.

"Answer the question." He said, pleading.

"I'm positive. I belong to you. No one else. I'm absolutely positive." I said. He nodded.

"Okay." I crawled onto him, and kissed him.

"I'm all yours." I murmured into his jaw.

"Good." He said. I giggled. I crawled off of him, and stuffed the envelope into my bag.

"Aren't you going to read it?" He asked.

"He asked me to read it when I was alone." I said.

"Since when do you listen to him?" He asked. I sighed.

"Its Christmas. It's a gift, and I'm going to do what he asked with it." I told him.

"What are you going to give him the day we leave?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Cant tell you." I said.

"Rose." He warned.

"Sebastian, do you trust me?" I asked.

"With my life." He replied.

"Then don't ask. Just let me do what I need to. It will benefit us all." I said.

"Are you going to tell Liss?" He asked. "She wants to know."

"I'm not telling anyone until the time is right." I said. He just nodded. That was a lie. I had to tell Liss and soon to make sure she would help me. I couldn't do it without her. I hated lying to him, but there was nothing else I could do. Regardless of past feelings between Dimitri and Sebastian, I knew Sebastian would try and talk me out of it, and since I had such a soft spot for him, I would listen. I had to do this. I needed to do this for Dimitri, for me. The sooner I could do this, the better off both of us would be. I smiled down at him.

"Rose, what are you thinking about doing?" He asked.

"I'm not thinking about doing anything." I said.

"I know that face. Your plotting. Rose, your not going to kill him… are you?" I busted out laughing.

"NO. I'm not going to kill him." I said. He laughed.

"Oh. Okay." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"You would think I'd be plotting murder against an innocent. Yes, Sebastian. I'm going to kill him with my new stake." I said, picking it up. He chuckled.

"I wouldn't put it past you." He said. I growled.

"Shut up." I snapped, smiling. He got out of bed, and walked over to me, and wrapped his arms around me.

"Merry Christmas Darling." He whispered. I smiled.

"Merry Christmas." I said. He pressed his lips to mine, and ran his fingers through my hair.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too." He said. We then went back downstairs, to spend the rest of Christmas with our extended 'family'. 


	30. Like A Needle Needs A Vein,

We hung out downstairs together for awhile. We did Christmas dinner together, which made us really seem like a family. I liked that feeling. I'd never actually had a Christmas somewhere where I felt like I belonged somewhere. Where I felt like I was part of a family. Sebastian, Christian, and Adrian got into this huge conversation over some kind of dumb car Adrian had seen on TV, so I snuck upstairs. I went into my room, and closed the door, locking it behind me. I went to my bag, and grabbed the letter, pulling it out of the envelope. I took a deep breath before reading it. Written in his handwriting was a full page letter. I took a deep breath before beginning to read.

_My Dearest Roza,_

_I know things have been pretty crazy between you and I since you've came here. I figured since I can't really find the right words to say I'm sorry, I'd try this way. Rose, it wasn't till I had to live without you, that I realized how much I really loved you, and couldn't live without you. When I left, I did it for us. I thought that if someone found out about us back at the academy, that it would screw up your chances of becoming a guardian. I wasn't going to take that chance. I know you said before I left that you would have given up everything for me. You may have been willing to sacrifice everything to be with me, but I was not willing to let you do that for me. I knew how much Liss meant to you. I knew how much being a guardian meant to you. I knew how hard the two of us had worked for you to be where you were, and I wasn't about to make you give all that up. You had such amazing potential. When you said you would be the best damn guardian, I didn't doubt it. Not even for a second. I knew since the moment I laid eyes on you Rose Hathaway that you would be the most badass guardian, just like your mother. I knew how much everything there meant to you, and I wasn't going to be the one to take it away. I was also scared, scared of what would happen to me if someone found out about us. I could have been put in jail, they would have revoked my guardian status, and everything I worked for would have been for nothing. Not like it would have mattered, as long as I got to keep you, but I knew if they found out, I wouldn't. I'd be sent away, never to see you again, and I couldn't have that. I knew with both of us being guardians, we were bound to run into each other sometime, so I knew I wasn't losing you completely. I couldn't lose you completely. I don't know what I would have done with myself. I did what was best for both of us. I thought with my head, instead of my heart. My heart was always telling me to stay by your side and never leave, because that was where I belonged, but I couldn't do that. I couldn't risk everything you and I had worked for. I'm sorry I left, sorrier than you will ever begin to realize, but to an extent, I don't regret what I did. In all honesty, I'm sort of glad I did it. Despite losing you, you would never be where you are today if I hadn't left. You're an amazing guardian. Since you've been here, you've earned two more molnija marks, you've became a tremendous fighter, and a amazing person. You'd never be where you are if I hadn't left. I miss you Roza. I miss us. I miss what we had, but I'm realizing now that… you really have moved on. I know I need to do the same, but my heart will always be with you. There isn't anyone else out there for me but you. I regret ever thinking that Tasha could take me away from you. Tasha is an amazing woman, she's beautiful, and sweet, and kind, but she isn't you. She doesn't… she doesn't get me the way you did. You may love Sebastian, Rose, and you may end up spending the rest of your life with him, but… he wont ever get you the way I did. You know that, I know that, everyone knows that. I know you love me, and you still care, but I know you've learned to push all that aside and love Sebastian now. I'm realizing that. I just want you to know that no matter what, Roza, I'm always going to be right here. I'll always be waiting for you, with arms wide open. I love you with all my heart Rosemarie Hathaway. As much as it hurts me to see you with him, nothing will ever change that. _

_Love always and forever,_

_Dimitri Belikov_

I sat there, staring at the paper for the longest time, gazing down at it, but actually seeing nothing. I read over the last few lines once or twice, and that's when I seriously knew I had to go through with this. If I didn't, he'd never move on. He'd never get over it. He'd never love anyone ever again. I wiped the few tears that had escaped down my face, and sighed. I shoved the letter back in the envelope, and shoved it into my suitcase. I then walked down the hall to Lissa's room, and walked in, closing and locking the door behind me. Christian was still downstairs. She looked up at me, and raised an eyebrow.

"Hey." She said.

"Hi."

"What's wrong?" She asked. I sighed.

"I need your help with something." She gave me one of her looks.

"Oh God, what did you do?" She asked.

"I haven't done anything… yet." I said. She shook her head.

"What Rose?"

"I need help with Dimitri's present." I told her. She grinned.

"Present? I'm in."

"I need your help, but after I tell you, I know your going to refuse… so I need you to hear me out first." I told her. She nodded.

"I'll try." I nodded, and began.

"I want you to help me erase Dimitri's memory of us being in love." I started. Her mouth gapped open, and she started to speak, but I cut her off.

"You don't understand. He's in love with me. I love Sebastian, Liss. He isn't going to ever get over me. I can't have him hanging onto me, and putting himself in so much pain all the time. Liss, it hurts to watch him hurt over me. I know you've seen it, heard us hurting each other. I know you don't want to see him hurt anymore than I do." I told her. She just stared.

"But erasing his memory isn't the way to go about it. You know that."

"There are no other options. I've tried yelling. I've tried talking. I've tried it all. Nothing works." I said.

"Rose, you can't do this."

"Are you going to help me or not?" I asked. "I need you to help me do this."

"Rose… I can't just-" I met her eyes.

"Liss, please. I need you to help me do this." I said. She closed her eyes, and rubbed her face.

"Rose, I don't know if I can do this." She told me.

"I can tell you what to say, and he will just remember that. Please Liss." I begged.

"You can do it."

"What?" I asked.

"I can compel him, and you can erase what you want, and make him remember what you want." She told me.

"I can do that?" She nodded.

"I'm pretty sure." She told me. I nodded.

"That's all I need you to do. Just compel him long enough for me to mess with his memory a little. You know you don't like seeing him this way. I don't either. Regardless of what's happened, I wouldn't wish that on him." I said.

"I'll help."

"Liss, just plea-" I cut myself off. "Wait… What?"

"I'll help you erase his memory. I'll help." She said. I smiled, and hugged her.

"Thank you so much." I said. She nodded.

"Its for him too… not just for you. I feel bad for the guy." She said. I nodded.

"He needs this. He'd be upset if I knew what I was planning, but… he'll thank me someday." I said. I felt a roll of pain come over me. Just thinking about him remembering nothing about our relationship kind of hurt me.

"Rose, are you really sure this is what you want?" She asked. I nodded.

"Its not about what I want anymore. Its about what he needs."

"Okay."

"Don't tell anyone. Someone will try and talk us out of it if they know." I told her.

"Okay. I wont." She said. I nodded.

"We'll do it before we leave. Right before we leave." I said. She nodded.

"Okay." She said, for the third time. She didn't like agreeing to this, but I knew she'd do anything I asked of her.

"Thank you." I told her again. She nodded.

"Your welcome." I turned and walked out, heading back to my room. I had a lot of thinking to do. What I wanted him, and didn't want him to remember would be a hard thing to figure out. I would do it though. I had too. I had to fix him. I had to make him better.


	31. One Step At A Time

Two days passed, and New Years was getting closer and closer. The closer it got, the more nervous about what I was planning I became. Dimitri must have noticed I was avoiding him, because finally he caught me alone.

"Are you okay?" He asked, touching my arm. I nodded.

"I'm fine." I said, careful not to meet his eyes. He caught my chin, and pulled my face up to look at him.

"Roza, please." He murmured.

"I'm fine. I've just got a lot on my mind. I promise. I'm okay." I assured him. He stared at me for a second, before nodding.

"Okay." He released me, and let me walk away. I sighed.

"Rose?" He called after me. I turned.

"Yeah?"

"Did you read my-" I just nodded, cutting off his question. He smiled a little.

"I just thought I should let you know how it really was, and why I did what I did." He said. I felt my chest swell, and a tear rolled down my cheek. I turned from him, and started up the stairs.

"Rose, wait…please. What'd I say?" He asked. I shook my head.

"You didn't say anything. Just please… don't." I begged. I went into Sebastian and I's room and curled up in our bed, waiting for him to get out of the shower. I pulled the blankets up around me, and waited for him to get out. He came out wrapped in nothing but a towel. He jumped when he saw me.

"Damn honey, you scared me. I thought you were downstairs." I shook my head.

"Something's wrong. What is it?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Nothing's wrong. I've just got a lot on my mind." I assured him.

"Like what?"

"Nothing. Its not important. I'm fine." I told him.

"Rosa, please." He said. I sighed.

"Sebastian. I'm fine. I'm serious. Would I lie to you?" I asked.

"When it comes to your well being? Yes." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Shut up." I said, grinning. He walked over to me, and knelt down next to me, and pressed his lips to mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down almost on top of me. I grinned when he pulled away.

"Rose." He warned. I giggled.

"What?" I asked, pretending I had no idea what he was talking about. As he smiled down at me, I was knotting my fingers into his hair. I could tell he was having a hard time holding composure.

"You don't fight fair, you know?" He asked. I smiled.

"You've trained with me. You should know that by now sir." I said, pressing kisses down his neck, his chest. He shuddered under my lips. I smiled.

"Very true." He said, bringing my mouth back to his. He kissed back, but after a few minutes, pulled away.

"We can't do this right now." He murmured.

"Why not?"

"We'll be home in a few days." He assured me.

"That's too long."

"You'll survive." He told me. I growled at him. He smiled.

"I might not." I muttered. He rolled his eyes at me and got up, going to find clothes to change into.

"So, when are you going to tell me what it is Dimitri's big gift is?" He asked.

"I'm not going to."

"What?" He asked.

"I can't tell you. Ever."

"What? Why?" He asked.

"You wont approve." I said. He narrowed his eyes at me, as he pulled his jeans on.

"Rose." He warned.

"What?"

"Tell me." He said.

"Do you trust me?" He growled.

"You have to stop using that on me. Of course I trust you Rose, but I still-" I shook my head.

"Do you trust me?" I asked again.

"Yes." He groaned.

"Then trust me. Let me do this. In three days, it will be done, we will be gone, and there will be nothing more to worry about." I told him. He stared at me for a second, but then nodded.

"Okay." He finally said. I smiled.

"I'm glad you trust me." I whispered. He came back around the bed, and kissed me.

"I do. I will. Always."

"Good." I murmured. He crawled into the bed beside me, and wrapped his arms around me.

"I love you Rosa."

"I love you too." He said. We both got up, and walked downstairs. We all curled up in the family room, and watched movies. I felt Dimitri's eyes constantly on my face. I was careful not to look up to meet his eyes. I knew looking at him too much would make me change my mind about what I was going to do. I couldn't have that. I had to do it. I couldn't leave it like this. I wouldn't. I could see Liss looking between Dimitri and I, probably waiting on us to look at each other. After the movie was over, I got up to go get a glass of water. I heard footsteps behind me, and looked up to see Dimitri. I averted my eyes to the floor, and tried to walk around him.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked.

"There's nothing to talk about, Dimitri." I tried to step around him, but he put an arm out, blocking my path.

"Please…Rose, we haven't got to talk much. I want to talk to you."

"Remember what happened the last time I let you talk to me?" I asked, giving him one of my patented Rose Hathaway looks.

"I wont. I just… please." He said. I met his eyes for a second.

"I can't." I said, turning to go upstairs since he wouldn't let me back into the family room.

"Roza?" He called up the stairs. I turned and looked at him. I shook my head.

"I can't. I'm sorry." I said, turning and walking back up the stairs to the bedroom. I sat down on the bed, and took a deep breath. I was fighting back tears that were threatening to spill down my face. As I sat there, I kept thinking 'God, I'm not going to be able to go through with this. I don't know how I'm going to be able to go through with this'. It wasn't long before Sebastian came in, and shut and locked the door behind him.

"Rosa." He said. A tear rolled down my cheek. He stepped forward, towards me, but I shook my head.

"Don't." I said.

"What? What's wrong? What's going on?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." I said.

"You need to stop lying to me." He snapped.

"I'm not lying to you." I whispered. He put his hands on my shoulders, and pulled my face up to look at him.

"I can't help you unless I know." He said.

"I can't… I'm fine. Sebastian, I promise." He stared into my eyes.

"Rosa." He murmured. I smiled up at him, trying my best to make it seem real. He smiled slightly.

"That was horrible." He said, chuckling. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Shut up. I'm trying, damn it." I told him. He sighed.

"I'm worried about you." I shook my head.

"Don't be. I'm perfectly fine."

"Your sure?" He asked. _No._

"Positive." I answered. He nodded.

"Okay." We curled up in our bed, and just laid there, basking in each others presence. _Three more days, Rose. Three more days._


	32. Over And Over Again

The next two days dragged on, giving me only that much more time to talk myself out of what I was planning. The It was New Years Eve, and all of us were sitting around a bonfire outside Tasha's house. Adrian and Christian had went and got fireworks to play with. I didn't really see the point when Christian was a fire-user, but whatever floated his boat. They came back with a bunch of big fireworks, mostly mortars and firecrackers. I walked away from the group staring up into the gorgeous blues and greens that radiated the sky. I knew tomorrow, I'd be wiping away everything there had ever been between him and I. The thought scared me. The fact that I'd know so much and he wouldn't. The fact that everything that happened between us, every stolen kiss, every talk, us falling in love, it would all be erased from his memory by this time tomorrow. I walked a little ways by myself, before Liss came over to me.

"What are you doing over here?" She asked. I shook my head.

"Just wandering." I said. My voice sounded all wrong, and dead. She knew automatically what was wrong.

"Rose, you don't have to-" I cut her off.

"I do." I said. "There is no backing out of this. I made this choice. I have to go through with it." I was snapping at her, and I felt bad

"You still love him." She murmured. I met her eyes, and shook my head.

"I love Sebastian." I whispered.

"You can love two people at once." She said. I shook my head.

"I don't love him anymore." I said, trying to convince myself just as much as I was trying to convince her.

"Rose." She said.

"Liss, stop. I have to do this." I said. I knew she'd try and talk me out of it. I was almost to the point of talking myself out of it, but I knew it had to be done. Sebastian was where my heart was. I had to do this. I was hoping the more I thought that, the more I said that, the more true it would become, but that wasn't how it was working. The more I said it, the more I wanted to chicken out. I was careful not to look in his direction, because I knew the more I looked at him, the less I'd want to go through with it. I was really off to myself tonight, instead of with my friends like I should have been. When I finally built up enough courage to walk over there, Dimitri had to press some more.

"Rose, are you okay?" He asked. I nodded.

"I'm fine." I assured him. I sat down next to Sebastian and listened to everyone talk. Midnight approached quick, and before long… we'd be leaving. I'd be leaving so much behind, but in reality, I was taking so much with me. It was hard to grasp the fact that pretty soon, he would remember pretty much nothing. Our entire past would be something he'd soon forget. I looked up, and met his eyes for a second, and I saw hurt flood through them. That was why I had to do this. That's why I had to erase his memory. I had to take away his pain. Adrian and Christian began the countdown to midnight. Ten… nine… eight.. I was freaking out inside just thinking about what I'd have to do soon. When they got too two, Sebastian pulled my face to look at him. The moment the clock struck midnight, he pressed a kiss to my lips.

"They say, if you kiss the person you love at midnight, you and that person will have good luck in your relationship that year." He said. I smiled at him, but it was pitiful. I knew he saw it, but he said nothing. Christian, and Adrian set off the remaining fireworks, and we all went inside. Sebastian, Liss, and Christian all went upstairs to get ready for bed, and for tomorrow, but I remained downstairs. I was grabbing a glass of tea when I turned to find Dimitri on the other side of the counter. I jumped, and squeaked.

"Dammit, you've got to stop doing that." I muttered, as I stood there, trying to slow my breathing.

"Sorry. I didn't know you were still down here. I was just coming to get a drink." He said. I nodded.

"Well, make some noise or something next time." I told him. He smiled a little.

"Sorry." He said. I was careful to avoid looking him dead in the eye. He must have noticed. He came around the side of the counter I was coming around, and when I turned around to go around the other side, he did the same.

"Why wont you look at me?" He asked.

"Dimitri." I warned. He didn't stop. He blocked my way, standing right in front of me0

."Please… don't. Just move." I begged. He didn't. He placed a finger under my chin, and pulled my face up to meet his eyes. Once again, I was gazing into those deep chocolate brown eyes, filled with so much hurt, and torment of seeing me love another, but now… staring at me, they were filled with so much love. I knew that no matter what I did to him, he'd always love me. He'd always care about me. He'd always want me. And that was why I had to do what I was going to do.

"I want to know why you've been avoiding me." He said. I sighed.

"I'm leaving tomorrow. I know how you feel right now. I can see it in your eyes. I know if I keep… trying to be civil and everything… It will be even harder on you when I leave." I said. _Lies. All of it was lies. _

"I can handle it. Its harder watching you avoid me."

"Your lying. You mean to tell me, you'll be perfectly fine when I leave?" I asked him, keeping my eyes locked on his. I watched as so many emotions flooded through them.

"No… But.." I nodded.

"Exactly." I said, stepping around him. He gently grabbed my wrist. The feel of his strong calloused hand on my skin brought back to many memories. Memories I didn't want to think of.

"Dimitri." I started.

"You still have to give me my Christmas gift." He said, only making it worse.

"I know. You'll get it right before I leave. I promise. Liss and I will just need to see you alone before I leave." I said. He raised an eyebrow.

"Liss? What's Liss got to do with it?"

"It's a surprise. Wont know until it happens." I said. Too bad he wouldn't remember. He stared at me for a second, and then nodded. He let his hand slowly slide off my wrist and fall to his side.

"Goodnight Dimitri." I said.

"Rose?" He asked. I raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Happy New Years."

"You too." I said, holding back the tears that threatened to break spill down my face. I slowly made my way up the stairs, and down the hallway, trying to regain my composure. Once I had it, I walked inside, and to the bed. I curled up next to Sebastian, and kissed him gently. I knew he wasn't fully asleep yet.

"Goodnight love." He murmured.

"Night."

"I love you." He purred.

"Love you too." I said, closing my eyes and slowly falling asleep. In only a few hours, I'd be erasing everything that was my past from one of the people I loved. I had to do it though. I would.

**A/N: The next chapter or so will be the final one's. I'm working on a new project along with this one, so… It should be really good, but for now… I hope your enjoying this. I know its dragging out a bit, but I'm working on it. Forgive me.**

**-April. **


	33. Drive Myself Right Through The Pain,

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of something falling. I opened my eyes, and looked to see Sebastian picked up his suitcase.

"Sorry." He said.

"What are you doing?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

"Packing. At least, starting to get stuff ready so we don't have to do it later."

"Oh." I said. I ran a hand through my hair, and sat up and threw my legs off the bed. I got up, and went to my suitcase. I grabbed a change of clothes, and my make-up bag, and went to get a shower. As I stood under the water, I was thinking of what I'd soon be doing. In only a couple hours, I'd be erasing our past from his mind. I got out, and got dressed, re-doing my hair and make-up. I opened the door to go downstairs and found Lissa standing right outside my door. She looked kind of upset. I shut the door behind me, and looked at her.

"What?" I asked.

"I can't do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. Its wrong." She said. I shook my head.

"No. No. No. You can't chicken out on me. You have to help me do this." I said. She was shaking her head.

"I can't, Rose."

"Liss… Please. This is all I'm asking of you. You know I don't ask for much from you… but just please. This is all I'm asking." I said. She looked down, and ran a hand through her blonde hair.

"Please… Please Liss." I begged. She sighed.

"Fine… but I'm not going to like it at all while I'm doing it." She snapped. I nodded.

"You don't have to like it.. I just need you to help me do it." I said. She sighed.

"Fine." She muttered. We went downstairs, and sat in the family room with Tasha, Dimitri, Christian, and Adrian.

"I can't believe you guys are leaving already. I'm going to miss you all." Tasha said. I sighed.

"We'll all miss you too." Liss and I said. Dimitri's eyes were on my face. All I did was glance at him, and that was all it took to see the pain at the thought of me leaving.

"You guys will be graduating soon, and Liss will move to court right? Then you guys can visit all the time." She said. We nodded.

"Yeah. We can." Liss said, giving me one of her looks. We all immersed ourselves in conversations about the visit, and stuff we'd miss, stuff we couldn't wait to get back to. The real talk was of my two new _molnija _marks I'd be getting when I got back.

"Its to bad I'm not there to see these two." Dimitri said. I nodded.

"It is." I said, meeting his eyes for the briefest moment. We all talked for the longest time before Sebastian stood.

"We should probably load everything into the car. We have to go pretty soon or the plane will leave without us." He said. I sighed.

"Yeah. Your right." I said, standing too. Here it was. Only a few more minutes. God, I wasn't ready to do this. I didn't want to do this. Liss met my eyes, and frowned, as I turned and started to follow him. Adrian helped us load everything, and then we slowly started saying our goodbyes. As Liss and I got to Dimitri, I took a deep breath.

"Can Liss and I speak to you alone?" I asked. He nodded.

"Sure." He said. We walked into one of the vacant bedrooms, and walked inside, closing and locking the door behind us. He sat on the bed, and Liss and I stood in front of him.

"I promised you a gift, and I'm going to give you one. It's the only thing I can think of that you actually need. I mean, what do you get the guy who has everything? I'm going to give you… what I know you don't have any of." I said.

"What's that?" He asked. "What's my gift?"

"Closure. Dimitri… I love you so much. More than anything. But… You can't go on this way. I'm going to make it better. I'm going to heal the hurt." I murmured. He gazed up at me.

"I love you too, Roza." He said. He started to go on, but I looked at Liss, and she caught him in her gaze. I watched as his eyes sort of glazed over, and he was in a completely different world.

"Dimitri, you and I were never in love. We met back at the academy, and you brought Liss and I back. When we started training together, I fell in love with you. You on the other hand, didn't return those feelings. It was just me, no matter how much I tried to convince you otherwise. I fell for you, and I fell hard. You left to move away from the Academy, and have a life, look for love. That's why you left with Tasha. You'd see more of the world, meet more people that way." By this time, tears were streaming down my face."We never argued, and were extremely close. We were the best of friends, student and mentor, but nothing more. This is always the way it will be with us. Just a love sick teenage with a twenty four year old mentor, who she accidentally fell in love with. We never kissed, the Lust spell never happened, you never admitted to loving me, none of that ever happened. We were nothing more than friends." I took a deep breath, and leaned forward, pressing my lips to his. It was hard to hold back the sob. Liss kept her gaze locked on his.

"Finish it up. I can't do it anymore." I whispered, I unlocked the door, and walked out, slamming it behind me. I wasn't sure what she'd say to tie it up. I didn't really care. What needed to be erased had been. As I started for the back door to get away from anyone who might still be in the house, someone grabbed my arm. I turned to stare into Sebastian's worried face.

"Rosa, what happened?" He asked. I shook my head, and jerked my arm away, walking away and out the back door, slamming it behind me. It wasn't long before he came out.

"Rosa, talk to me, please. what's going on?" He asked. I was having a hard time talking over the sobs that had consumed me.

"Nothing." I choked out.

"You don't cry for nothing, Rose. You've been completely to yourself, and been keeping stuff from me for days. I'm not letting you out of it this easily this time. What happened?" He asked. I took a deep breath, and tried to compose myself.

"I made him forget… okay?" I said, holding in another sob that threatened to break loose.

"What do you mean you made him forget?" He asked. I could tell he knew, but was going to make me explain.

"I made him forget we were in love. I made him forget all of it." I whispered.

"Rose… why would you-" I cut him off.

"You don't understand. You don't know him like I do. You couldn't see the emotional and physical pain he was in from us being here, from me not being with him. I couldn't leave things like this. He needed to move on, and there was no way he was going to do that unless I made him forget." I said.

"There were other ways to do that besides erasing his memory." He said. I shook my head.

"No… There weren't. I've yelled and talked to him, tried to show him, nothing worked. You've seen it. It was my last resort. There was nothing more I could do, and I could leave him here, hurting over me, as I went back to the academy and lived my life. I couldn't do it. It wasn't fair to him." I said.

"Rose.." He started. I shook my head.

"I did it for him. I did it for me. I did it for us." He shook his head.

"You didn't have too-" I cut him off, knowing what he was about to say.

"I know that. I know I didn't have too, but I needed to. I needed to put an end to this." I told him. He brought me into his arms, and just held me.

"Its okay." He murmured. I just sobbed into his shoulder.

"I just… I didn't… I-" I just stopped trying to talk, knowing it was pointless to try and form a coherent sentence. I heard the door open, and knew it was Liss before I looked up. She met my eye.

"Its done." She said. I nodded.

"We should get going." Sebastian said. I nodded. I wiped my face, and rubbed my eyes a little bit, before walking around the house. We all hugged Tasha once more before starting towards the van. Adrian came up to me, and wrapped an arm around my waist.

"You okay?" He asked. I took a deep breath, and nodded.

"I'm fine." I assured him.

"I have a feeling your lying." He said. I shook my head.

"I'm not lying. I promise." I said. He nodded. We piled into the van, me once again calling shot-gun. I brought my knee's up in the seat, and stared out the window, my mind drifting off. Sebastian touched my knee, and massaged it gently.

"You okay?" He mouthed. I smiled, and nodded. Surprisingly, I was getting better The pain was still there, but it dulled. I dozed in and out of sleep before we got to the court. We carried our things through the court, and out to the plane. We loaded our things and boarded. I went to the very back, wanting to be alone. I put in my iPOD and tuned out the rest of the world. My mind was drifting back to all the things I'd taken away from him. All the stolen kisses, the night I'd attacked him because of the spell Victor Dashkov put us under, all the talks, everything was now gone from him. He had no idea any of it took place. I did though, and as much as I hated to admit it… they were memories I'd cherish forever. Sebastian came and sat with me, holding my hand and just gazing at me every once and awhile. I'd smile, and try and convince him I was okay. After a little while, Liss came to the back, and gave me a strange look.

"Sebastian…can I talk to her alone for a second?" She asked. She'd blocked her brain off through the bond, where I couldn't tell what she was thinking, but I knew something was up. He nodded.

"Yeah. Call me if you need me." He said, kissing my lips gently before getting up, and walking down the isle to the front of the plane.

"How you holding up?" She asked.

"Cut the crap. What's up?" I asked. She sighed.

"I hate this one way bond." She muttered.

"No changing the subject… what's going on?"

"How much do you love me?" She asked.

"Liss, why are you stalling?"

"Answer the question." She growled.

"I love you a lot. I protect your ass with my life, don't I?" I asked.

"If I did something… you wouldn't approve of.. Will you still love me?" She asked.

"Vasilisa Dragomir, what did you do?" I asked. She stared at me for just a second, meeting my eyes. I knew it was bad, whatever it was, and I knew it had to do with him. She wasn't able to block me out that good.

"I… I gave Dimitri back some of his memory." She said. My jaw hit the floor.


	34. Why Don't You Stay?

I just stared at her. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say to that.

"You…. You did what?" I asked. She looked afraid, like I was about to hit her. To be quite honest, that was the last thing on my mind.

"I… I couldn't leave him like that. I thought you were just going to take away the memories of you two together, not rewrite his whole past at the academy." She said. I still wasn't sure what to say.

"I can't believe you'd-" She cut me off, shaking her head.

"No.. your right though. He was in pain, and I took that away from him."

"What did you give him back then?"

"I gave him back everything. I just… I just tweaked the scene when he left. I told him that when he left, it was because he wanted to leave. You and him were in love, yes… but you were both perfectly fine with the separation, as long as he got to see each other sometimes. He's still very much in love with you, but I took away anything in his memory that would cause him pain. I took away all the fights, I took away everything." She said."What about Sebastian?" I asked.

"I left him in there, saying you were with him now, but I made him completely fine with that, because he wasn't there to take care of you. He'll always love you, but he'll live his life and try to move on and find someone new if he can, just like you have." She said. I was really surprised I didn't think of all that.

"So, he wont be in pain?" She shook her head.

"No, and this way… he gets to keep a hold on some of his past." She said. I smiled. I grabbed her, wrapping my arms tightly around her neck.

"God, thank you so much Liss. I was so.. So upset that everything that had happened between us was only going to be a part of my memory." I said.

"I thought you'd be mad." She said. I shook my head.

"I'm mad that you did it without asking me, but I'm just relieved." I said. She met my eyes for just a second.

"Rose, your still in love with him." She whispered, keeping her voice low. I shook my head.

"This bond may not work both ways, but I'm not an idiot." She said.

"I don't…. I don't love him. I can't love him." She smiled.

"You love him Rose, stop denying it." She said. I sighed.

"What good will it do to say I do love him? Yes.. Liss. Yes I do. I still love him." She grinned, seeming to be proud she'd gotten it out of me.

"Don't.. don't say anything." I told her. She nodded.

"I wont." She told me. She kissed the top of my head, and got up, disappearing down the isle. I left a few tears roll down my cheek, but wiped them away quickly. Sebastian came back and sat down next to me.

"Hey." He said. I smiled a little bit.

"Hey there."

"How you holding up?" He asked. I smiled a little.

"I'm fine." He raised an eyebrow at me. I giggled.

"Don't give me that look." I said. He smiled.

"Sorry." He said. I pulled his mouth to mine, and kissed him… but after I'd kissed Dimitri this afternoon, it felt so wrong. I pulled away gently, and smiled.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I don't know-" He put a hand over my mouth.

"Don't. Its understandable. I get it. It's fine." He said. I smiled. I could see something in his eyes. There was something he wasn't telling me. I didn't ask. I wasn't sure I wanted to know. I just kept my mouth shut. I laid my head over on his shoulder, and closed my eyes, letting the music pulsing into my ears cause me to drift off. He woke me up when we reached the airport, and transferred to the van so he could drive us home. Sebastian drove as always, even though I tried to talk him out of it. I needed something to take my mind off the fact that Dimitri still knew, that he was still in love with me. When we got back to the academy, I sighed. It felt so good to be home, but strangely enough… I missed Tasha's. I wasn't sure though if I missed Tasha's because I liked being away from the academy or if I just missed being in Dimitri's presence. Sebastian took my bags to my room, and kissed me before walking off. It was strange. I would have expected him to ask to stay, but he didn't. In a way, I was sort of glad he didn't ask. I needed some time to gather my thoughts. He walked off, and too his room. I laid in my bed for awhile, staring up at the ceiling. I picked up my cell phone, and stared at it. So bad… I wasn't to dial Tasha's number, and ask if he was there, just to hear his voice one more time. I was disgusted with myself and got up, walking out into the cool night air. I walked by myself for awhile, before I heard footsteps behind me, and turned. I was staring into Sebastian's blue eyes.

"Hey there." I said. He smiled a little, but it wasn't a happy smile.

"Hi." His voice sounded wrong. Something was definitely up.

"Is everything okay?" I asked. He sighed, and met my eyes. I watched as pain filled them. It was something I hated to see.

"No… its not." He said. I tried to raise an eyebrow.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"My mother in Italy… she's extremely sick. They need someone to come back and take care of the kids while she's in the hospital." He said.

"Oh God, I'm sorry. I mean.. when are you leaving?" I asked.

"My plane leaves in a few hours." I wasn't really sure what to say. He motioned to his bags in front of his door. The pain in his eyes was so prominent.

"You'll be coming back eventually… right?" I asked. He took a deep breath, and met my eyes. I had to brace myself for his next answer. He shook his head.

"Sadly, no… I'm not coming back Rosa." He said. I looked at the ground, allowing a few tears to fall before I looked back up.

"What do you mean? I don't understand." I said.

"Rose, you don't need a mentor anymore. You have only a few months till graduation, and you'll be fine." He assured me.

"But… you said you loved me. You said you wouldn't leave me." I whispered. He smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile. His face contorted and twisted into a painful expression, almost as if someone were stabbing him.

"You still love him, Rosa. I can't compete with what you feel for him." He told me.

"No.. Sebastian, don't do this." I said. "I want you to come back." Tears were streaming steadily down my face.

"Rose.. Its no use." He said.

"But you said-" He shook his head, cutting me off.

"I know what I said. I thought I could be with you… knowing you loved him so much. I really thought you'd move on from him, and actually feel something for me. I know you feel something for me Rosa… but its nothing compared to what you feel for him." He told me. I stared at him for a second, and realized he was right. I shook my head, feeling like a complete bitch for begging him to stay even though I didn't love him the way I should. I met his eyes, and took a deep breath.

"So… this is good-bye then?" I asked. He looked down, and I watched as a few tears hit the ground.

"Not good-bye." He said, looking up. "Just a see you later. I might be around someday. Just not anytime soon." I sniffed, and took a step forward, wiping the tears from his face.

"Just for the record… Sebastian, I really do love you." I murmured. He nodded.

"I know that. You don't know how much I wish it was enough."

"I know." I murmured. Staring into his eyes, I couldn't help myself. I brought his mouth to mine, and kissed him, throwing myself into it with everything I had. There was so much pain, so much passion, and so much longing in this kiss, it was hard to pry myself away. He laid his forehead against mine, and smiled a little.

"Take care of yourself, and of Liss. Understand?" He asked. I took a deep breath, and nodded.

"I will."

"And I love you." He murmured. I let a sob escape my chest.

"I love you. I always will." He pressed a kiss to my forehead, letting his lips linger there for a few seconds.

"Good-bye." He murmured. He then turned around, and walked away. It was the second man I loved I'd let walk out of my life, and this time… I was letting him go. Only because… he deserved better than the life he would have here with me. I cried, yes… only because I really had loved him. I stared after him as he grabbed his bags, and loaded them into a SUV. He didn't spare a second look back at me, and I knew why. I knew he knew… that if he looked back, he wouldn't be able to leave and stay gone. I watched as he shut the door, and the SUV disappeared out of the gates. The scene was so similar to the night I'd watched Dimitri walk out of my life. I shook my head, and let a few more tears fall.


	35. What Can I Say?

After last night, I woke up the next morning feeling completely like shit. I unpacked my bags, and cleaned up my room a little bit. It felt weird being home. Liss stopped by to see me, but didn't stay long. She and Christian were going out on a date. We still had two days off, so I was stuck, alone, in my room, which was right where I wanted to be. Company wasn't something I wanted right now. I lounged around my room all day, not really sure what I was supposed to do. Dimitri was off with Tasha, erased of most of his memory, and Sebastian was gone to take care of his sick mother, and I'd never see him again. I just sat in my bed, and stared at the ceiling. I missed both Dimitri and Sebastian, but I missed them in two completely different ways. Was it wrong to say I wanted both of them? God, I was turning into a whore. I wanted two men at the same time. I wasn't sure what to do with myself. Liss & Christian were off on their date, doing only God knows what, Sebastian was gone, Adrian was here, but there was no telling where, and I was alone. I was willing to bet money, that even standing in a crowded room, I would still feel just as alone as I did right now. A few tears slid down my cheek, but I refused to fully cry. I did most of that last night anyway. I was honestly surprised that my tear ducts could create anymore tears after the assault they had last night. I sat around, doing absolutely nothing, letting my imagination assault me with memories, and good time's I'd had with Sebastian and Dimitri. I was horrible, so horrible. I laid in my bed, tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable when someone knocked on my door. I was extremely tempted to yell go away, but instead, I got up and opened the door. Honestly, I was expecting a guardian, telling me Alberta wanted me, or Adrian just finding out Sebastian left, and was coming to comfort me. The person standing there, was no who I was expecting. When I opened the door, I gazed up into the deep, chocolate brown eyes of the one and only, Dimitri Belikov.

"Dim.. Dimitri. What are you doing here?" I stuttered. He gave me one of his looks.

"I came here to talk to you about erasing my memory." He said, tilting his head sideways, like a puppy.

"What are you-" I cut myself off. "Lissa." I muttered. He chuckled.

"Yes, its true. She ratted on you. Now, are you going to invite me in… or not. You have some explaining to do." He had a very serious look in his eyes. I wasn't sure I really wanted to let him in. I was sort of afraid. Regardless, I stepped out of his way, and he walked inside. He walked over to my desk chair, and sat down.

"We're you sleeping?" He asked, looking at me, and motioning to my bed. He probably noticed my bed looked like a dog rolled around in it.

"I was trying, without prevail." I said. He nodded. He met my eyes, and his guardian mask slipped onto his face. I knew he meant business.

"Why'd you erase my memory?" He asked. I smirked.

"You came all this way to ask that?"

"Don't change the subject." He snapped.

"You and I fought so much, you were in so much pain. God, you don't understand the pain you were in. I could see it, day in and day out. In your eyes, not even your guardian mask could cover up the pain. Dimitri, you don't understand how hard it was to watch you hurt like that over me. I couldn't leave you like that." I murmured.

"That was my problem to deal with. Not yours." He said.

"I know, but… I just couldn't leave you that way. I refused."

"So, you thought taking away my memory was the best way-" I cut him off.

"It was the only way. I tried talking to you. You kissed me, and got caught. I yelled at you, and you isolated yourself from everyone, and wouldn't leave your room. Its was my only choice." I explained.

"I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself." He said.

"Oh yeah, because you were doing such a fine job before, weren't you?" I snapped. He narrowed his eyes at me.

"I don't remember anything. Any of the fights, any of the pain, I don't remember any of it. All I remember is loving you so much. Everything else is dull, and blurry." He said.

"That's what I wanted. Them to be dulled out so you wouldn't focus on the pain, and would get on with your life." I said.

"I'm pretty sure I didn't want to get on with my life without you."

"That's why I did it. You wouldn't. You'd sit around and mourn me being gone." I said.

"Where is he?" He asked.

"Who?"

"Sebastian?" My face must have changed, because he gave me a strange look. "That was his name, right?" He asked. I nodded.

"He's… he's gone."

"Where'd he go?" He asked. I looked away.

"His mom was sick… and he had to go to Italy to take care of her." He watched my face for a second, and sighed.

"He isn't coming back… is he?" He asked, still watching my face.

"No. He isn't."

"Because of me? Right?" He asked. I sighed, and nodded.

"Roza.. I'm sorry." He started. I shook my head.

"Don't be. He made the choice to leave… not you. You didn't run him off. He left, and I let him go." I whispered. He nodded.

"That's all you could do."

"I know. He could find someone better." I said. He shook his head.

"That's a lie, and you know it." He told me, staring into my eyes.

"Even though I can't really fully remember why, I still feel empty, alone. Taking away my memory wont fix it. It wont make it go away. The fact that I love you will always be there, whether the bad stuff is dulled out or not." He said. He stood up.

"I didn't know that. I thought-" He cut me off.

"I know what you thought… but I am in love with you, Roza. No moroi magic is going to make that go away." He took a few steps towards me.

"I told you awhile back that I found peace with you, and my heart was with you. My leaving never changed that." He said. He was standing right in front of my now.

"I've never felt more at peace.. Than I do right now." He murmured. He didn't free me from his gaze. He moved in closer, only a few inches away.

"I love you Roza. I always have, and I always will." He said. He started in for the kiss, but I scrunched my face up, and shook my head.

"Please, don't." I whispered. He gave me a strange look.

"You'll be gone again, leaving to go back to Tasha's soon. I can't take it all over again. Just… Just go." I said. He took my face in his hands, and before I could react, brushed his lips against mine. The moment his lips touched mine, this fire shot through the rest of my body, and I was begging for more. I couldn't force myself away this time. I reached up, and wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing his body closer to mine. He wrapped his arms around my waist, only pulling my body into the perfect arch of his. When I was finally able to pry my mouth away, I left our faces only a few feet apart.

"I'm not going anywhere. I am where you are. Tasha had me replaced. I'm here. I'm yours. Forever."

"I love you Dimitri. God, I love you so much." I murmured. wrapping my arms around him, and holding him. He smiled.

"It's taken me this long, and I've had to go through all of this, just to hear you say that, just to make you see that you still loved me."

"I'm sorry I'm such trouble Comrade." I said.

"You've always been that way, Roza and I hope you never change." He said. I giggled.

"I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry I left you. I wont ever go anywhere, ever again." He murmured. I smiled, gazing up into his beautiful brown eyes.

"Don't apologize. You're here now. That's what matters." I told him, before pressing my lips back to his.

"And I'm always going to be here." He said. In this moment, everything was perfect. Well…as close as it got for me. I lost one amazing man, but gained another one back. I was still aching over the loss of Sebastian, yes, but as for things now, they were as good as they got for Rose Hathaway, what can I say?

**A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed. This is as far as I'm going with this story. I know there was so much I could have done with this story, but instead of continuing Dimitri and Rose's life, I decided to cut it off here. I have new projects to work on, and they will be posted up shortly. Keep an eye out for those. (: Thank you guys for reading. I really hope you enjoyed the twists and turns of "What Can I Say".**


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